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  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
  • Start date Start date
Thanks mate!

I always like to.keep a guy's underpants once I've fucked him as a sort of trophy but those little babies are so smelly that I might just make them into a Covid mask so that I've got the smell of your dirty shitter wafting into my nostrils all day long!
 

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-The sun's just coming up Matt!

-That's right baby...........and so am I!!!!!!
 

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Now we've exchanged shirts I think we should go the extra mile and exchange our match-worn socks and pants!
 

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There used to be a tv commercial regarding Carlsberg beer and how the Danes brewed the best beer in the world!

Maybe it's time to make a similar commercial about Rasmus Hojlund's arse.....even if he is a mediocre footballer!
 

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We all that thought Kyle was surgically attached to his phone so that must have been one seismic shag from Josh that made him let go of it!
 

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Fuck! I want to sit on his lap & tell him what I want 😈👰🏻‍♀️❤️‍🔥
There used to be a tradition of leaving a cup of hot chocolate and a mince pie out for Santa when he came down the chimney to deliver the presents on Christmas Eve!

The key thing was to put something in his chocolate to knock him out and if you waited ten minutes or so for the substance to take effect you could shag the arse off him if he was a fit bastard before he went on to the next house!
 

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The camera never lies!

Just follow the trajectory of the physio's eyes and see where it is leading!

Interesting that he should want Jack in that position given that Jack's injury was on his forehead.........but if you had a chance to access the Grealish glutes wouldn't you do exactly the same!!!!
 

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Brandon Williams deserves a good spanking for ruining his footballing career but if I ever see him in a shop doorway begging I'll buy him a coffee and a sarnie if he lets me shag that tight little arse of his!
 

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Only another five minutes till the end of training then you can take Blondie into the dressing room, upend him and rearrange his guts with that taut todger of yours!
 

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-I'm so glad we joined the astronomy society Connor! I wonder if I'll ever get a good look at Uranus!

-I was thinking exactly the same thing Ben!
 

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"The leaves have all fallen
The trees are aglow
But in my heart it's still autumn
It's just hidden under the snow!" I

-That's beautiful babe! I've never seen this sensitive side of you!

-Sensitive!? Bollocks! I came across it by accident when I was googling "tight puckers!"

All I can say is that what I'm shooting up your arse in fifteen minutes' time will be the same colour as snow but it'll be a fucking site hotter!!!!!
 

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When I asked whether you had anything for an itchy arse I didn't expect you to give it to me on the pitch in front of twenty thousand spectators!
 

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-The lift's stuck on the fifth floor!

-Ok Sir we're sending somebody up to relieve you!

-How long do you think it'll be before the lift starts moving!?

-We can't do anything about the lift Sir! When I said we are sending someone to relieve you it's because one of our guys on Reception noticed you've got a massive boner in your trackie bottoms and is going to prize the lift door open just wide enough for him to get your cock in his mouth!!!!!!!
 

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I want to come back as a dog!

Have you noticed how many dogs perform inappropriate gestures with their owners so a fit young man like this one might have his dog sniffing his balls and arse and he simply looks at the canine, smiles and says:

"Good boy!"

If I stuck my nose up this geezer's arse he'd probably punch my lights out!
 

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-We're off to Bangkok!

-I thought you did that every Saturday night!
 

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What are you doing Vaclav!?

I have been offered a job with "Rent boys r us" so I am trying to learn some of these phrases in English:

Do you want to fuck me doggy or 69!?

Do you want me to keep my socks on!?

If you want to keep my socks and pants it's 5% extra!

If you want to fuck me without lube or condom that's another 10%!

Happy to give you a bit of practice and be your first customer and accept your terms and conditions!

By the way I want you on your back in your black socks!
 

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