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  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
  • Start date Start date
Hey man just wanted to thank you for all your help with my A level art!
You were a fantastic teacher and now with my grade A I can go to Art school!

All those boring vases of flowers and bowls of fruit! You just seem to make them come alive!

On the subject of fruit and flowers i need your help again 'cos I hit 18 during the summer vacation and I need you to cum over and deflower me with that big black donkey dick of yours!

Say you'll be the one to take my cherry and make a man of me!😈💋👅
 

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:

Insert nose into arsecrack and inhale deeply!

This remedy is guaranteed to cure many ailments including:

Hangover
Migraine and severe headaches
Blocked nose
Blurred vision

and a host of other complaints!

Tried and tested by one who knows ergo the Leeds United physio!

Warning: keep away from children!
 

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You may regret sticking your tongue out at me 'cos when you are halfway round this circuit in these punishing temperatures and crying out for water I'll be behind you in the car sticking my tongue out at YOU and saying:

"I'll give you water but see this tongue! It's going right up your arse before a drop of water passes your lips!"😈😈😈
 

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Yes indeed...and...those of us so gifted would also self-suck all day (and night). If only I was so gifted. :cry:
I can suck the head of my dick, but it requires bending into extremely uncomfortable positions. There’s a reason that all guys can’t suck themselves: because the need to find sexual partners would’ve died off long ago, and for straight guys, they wouldn’t be bothered getting women pregnant and the population would’ve died off. As for jerking off all day or all night, I’ve done that countless times. I’d have to sit down and think really hard to make a list of all the times I stayed home “sick” from school or work because the need to beat off was too overwhelming, and one orgasm was never enough. I used to jerk it until I’d have orgasms and absolutely nothing would come out.
 
I don't deserve any mercy!

Suffocate me with both your smelly feet!
 

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Pity the photo's a bit blurred but if you're going to finger a footballer it might as well be a sexy little Turkish rwink like Arda Guler!

Now sniff your fingers!
 

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Just let me peel those socks off you and you can get back to.your workout!

Hang on you might as well give me your knickers too!😈😈😈
 

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-What a cock-up!

The bride doesn't turn up so I end up marrying the best man!

-No sweetheart the "cock-up" is when I get you into bed on your back!
 

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Look lively mate!

Get yer fucking shorts off and bend over before the rest of the platoon realise we're missing!
 

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Are you mad woman!?

If that's Tobey Maguire in that suit I'll rip the seat out of that spidey costume and fuck the shit out of him!😈😈😈
 

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Anybody remember the 2002 film "Bend it like Beckham!?"

Well the sequel to that was:

"Buggering Beckham!"
 

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-So what's your line then Josh?

-I'm self employed!

-Doing what exactly!?

-Well I hang around the stairwells of these flats from about 5pm onwards and as people start coming back from work feeling horny they can hire me for an hour or whatever and get their rocks off!

-Any words of wisdom for youngsters out there!?

-Yep! I'm living proof that you can make money on your arse!
 

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-Do you really think it's appropriate for me to tutor you in these circumstances!?

-Well Im 18 now and an adult so no responsible adult presence required!

I'm preparing for A level Biology and the subject is the human reproductive system with special reference to how the penis becomes erect before penetration!

So actually I would say the conditions were ideal!🤣
 

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DILEMMA OF THE DAY!

When this horndog gets up and leaves do I drop to my knees and sniff the seat where his dirty smelly shitter has been grinding away for the last half hour

OR

Do I follow him till he goes to the nearest restoom and drop to my knees again while he's having a piss and get my nose as close to the big brown skidder that's perfuming the air!?

Decisions! Decisions!
 

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