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A weird situation with a straight friend

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Dec 2, 2009
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Hey everyone,

I've been a member for a while, but this is my first real post.

For some brief background, I would describe my sexuality as ambiguous, but the best way to describe it would be bisexual. I've been attracted to men for a while, but recently been more comfortable with myself and have discussed my bisexuality with some friends. My sexual experiences have been few, with women and one man, has not included full intercourse, and has usually been when I'm drunk. I've had a few girlfriends, no boyfriends, and have been single for a few years.

As the title point out, I have a weird situation with a straight friend. We've know each other all through college and lived together for the better part of two years. We currently live in a shared house with other roommates, each with our separate rooms. Half of my house knows I'm bisexual, and the other half I told when we were all really drunk (I was in an out of black-outs, and they were probably around the same level), and I don't remember if they know or not, but we've never discussed it.

My straight friend, let's call him Jack, is one of the people that I told I was bisexual when I was drunk, and I don't know if he remembers or not. He's a naturally attractive person, both physically and on a chemistry level. He is naturally flirtatious and acts in a suggestive way to people he's comfortable with, but sometimes it seems like he is flirty with me in particular.

I don't necessarily want things to happen with him, because I'm concerned that it would make our friendship really awkward, especially since we live together, and he retreats in awkward situations, whereas I just deal with them more directly. My problem is that he tends to walk around the house in just his boxers and gets naked a lot when he's drunk, which is quite titillating, but also frustrating having that around all of the time, but not wanting to act on my feelings.

I've come to accept that I need to explore my sexuality more with both men and women, he's just not the right person to try it with, and I'm concerned that I may have fallen for him, which has never happened with a guy before.

Anyways, I'm primarily writing this to think through my situation, but any advice or experiences from similar situations would be great. From what I've seen so far, the member here have a good perspective as well as a sense of humor.
 
I think you need to moderate your drinking. I'm not an anti-alcohol person by any stretch. I drink a lot myself. I just hold my alcohol well. But, it seems that all of your awkward moments happen when you, your friend, or both are drunk. A lot of bad things happen when young people get too drunk, like rape, unprotected sex, fighting or other violence, or people just say things they wish they hadn't when they sober up.
 
Hi BBB and WELCOME to JUB!!! :wave:

I would think that it would be FUN having an attractive friend/roommate that occasionally got "naked" around...

WHY PUSH for MORE???

Just accept things as they are -- and enjoy it!!! ..|

IF he is actually wanting more -- LET HIM grow a pair and ASK YOU!!!

Also -- I would be MORE OPEN about my sexuality BEYOND drunken black-outs...

It SOUNDS like you're having a LOT OF FUN -- and if you want to push your sexual boundaries a bit -- do it with people OUTSIDE the house...

Keep us posted...

:):):)
 
The problems you describe are your problems , not his. Just get used to it, relax a bit, mimic his behaviour,and go easy on the piss.........
 
Thanks for the input. Swerve, I liked your in particular :) My drunken coming-out happened a few months ago, and since then, I've been much more careful with my drinking, and no awkward situations around me being too talkative have happened since then. The problem is, I don't know if they remember that conversation, and I haven't brought it up with them.

I feel that I should bring up my bisexuality with the remainder of my house, not to pursue anything sexual, but to eliminate the stress of not knowing. I don't think that things should become awkward if they don't remember (it might become less so if they do). There's always a risk in telling, but it seems worth the risk if it allows me to be more comfortable with myself.

Thoughts?
 
^I think that YOU have ALREADY got it figured out...

All of us come from DIFFERENT upbringings, perspectives, etc...

I'm ONE of TEN kids with an AWESOME mother who TOTALLY instilled within us our self beings -- if that makes any sense... :rotflmao:

SO -- it was EASY for me -- and I understand it is difficult for others...

I will assure you that once you REACH that point where you FULLY accept YOURSELF -- it will be EASY to SHARE that with others -- and you WILL be MUCH happier!!! ..|

:):):)
 
SWERVE, I am one of ELEVEN, I wonder if we will ever fully appreciate what our particular mothers did.
PS mine will be 94 this yr.
 
Whatever is going to happen is eventually going to just happen naturally. "When dealing with women or with a horse, just let nature take its course" was a line in an old movie we watched recently. By horse they mean work of course. By women they mean sex. I think if this guy wants something to happen, it will happen sooner or later. So you don't have to try hard. Be open to it and receptive, if he ends up in your lap while drunk just cuddle with him or whatever. Be warm and loving and loveable. Eventually you and him might end up in bed and things may happen. But only when he wants it to happen. You can't force it and you can't force him. And it's useless to ask him or discuss it, as he probably won't. You don't ever need to talk with him about it, before or after. Talking about it or discussing it seems to be much more difficult for straight guys than actually doing it is. In the meantime just enjoy the homoerotic buzz, the homo vibe of it all. That's pleasurable in itself.
 
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