About to Give Up and Move Back Home Advice?

[MorrisseyX]

Some know the rut I've been for about a year and half now (low paying job, no real friends, living with a crazy cat lady- and def no BF) Kind of embarrassing but I'm reaching out for advice.

I'll spare the detail since you can see them in another post I've made last year. Since then little has changed with my situation and I feel like I'm banging my head against a wall doing all the "right" things. Or I'll think my situation is improving getting a 2nd interview for a higher paying job, going on a date, getting the number of a potential friend but then.... nothing happens. No job offer is made, no follow up from the potential friend/ date even after reaching out on my part. It's almost like a cruel joke and is a bit demoralizing and very frustrating.

This week after taking a realistic inventory of what little progress I've made, I've been mentally preparing myself to return back home and make "the call" to my parents telling them I'm moving back home at nearly 30 (somewhat pathetic IMO) Part of me is says while my parents would gladly take me back I'm worried quitting my job (despite it being low paying) and going through a big hassle of figuring out what to do with my stuff, moving halfway across the nation and "figuring things out" while unemployed and job hunting is not a wise idea. It could even make things worse since that's a major life change and there's barely any peers my age in the burbs my parent's live in. As I get older I'm learning a lot of things in life come down to who you know and are friends with.

Chicago thankfully is about 20 miles away but there's the stigma of living with your parent's that will be off putting (Although my current situation here in NYC is also off putting since everyone seems to have it together)

The other part of me thinks it might give me a good sense of perspective and living with my parents who love me is better than living in the spare room of an apartment with some random crazy cat lady who only cares about the rent (didn't even apologize when her cat peed in my room )

IDK what the right thing to do is but what I've been doing in the past hasn't worked to improve things. What would you guys recommend? Have you been in a similar situation?

Your move back home is not permanent remember that! You should feel lucky you got parents who are willing to support you! This is not ideal but you can save money moving home. You will get back on your feet this is a temporary set back!

 

[chrisrobin]

Chicago may be considered "The Second City", but it has Everything that New York does, just not on such a phrenetic scale. And, just to put in a "note", Milwaukee has Everything that Chicago does, just in an even more friendly "small town" atmosphere.

I'm from suburban Chicago. I've only visited Milwaukee a few times, but have found my visits uniformly pleasant. Please disregard the present governor.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I didn't find Chicago much at all like New York other than they're both quite large.

Lex

Agreed. And I love Chicago. But I'd say NYC has plenty that Chi-town doesn't.

Love the people in Chicago, though.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Also remember if you leave NYC, you're not missing anything.

It will be here when you're ready.

 

[Kyanimal]

I'm from suburban Chicago. I've only visited Milwaukee a few times, but have found my visits uniformly pleasant. Please disregard the present governor.

Though I have to admit my favorite U.S. city is Boston, I went to college in Chicago ... well ... Evanston ... and I do Adore Chicago!

Heck, I'm really just a Great Lakes guy! Milwaukee is my Chosen "Home" simply for a "slower", less "encumbered", full city life. I can get to wherever I want to go in 30min., or less.

I do know New York City fairly well, can understand it's attractions, and have often driven out of my way to avoid it.

As for Wisconsin's current governor, I happen to know him. He's a nice guy in person. I'd even go as far as saying that I like him.

However ... his politics? What he's done and what he supposedly stands for? NO, Thank You!

And, the thought of him getting anywhere near The White House has me terrified!

 

[erobert]

Sorry to dig up my old thread but I've decided to move back next month... at least for now and rebuild my savings.

Even though it should be the last thing I should be concerned about (since I'll be staying at my parents anyway) I'm wondering about how the gay scene and easy dating are there.

I'm familiar with Boystown and the culture in general but have never hung out in Boystown since I wasn't out yet; plus I moved to NYC right after graduating college. Now I'm moving back as an adult to a city that has changed on 6 years since I've been away. Is there more to it than Boystown? I remember seeing gay guys all over different areas of Chicago but less seemed out than they do here in NYC, maybe that's changed over the years?

From my experience with the scene here in New York got exhausting/ frustrating after a while and seemed limited to the stereotypical Hell's Kitchen and Chelsea venues attracting a lot of visitors looking to hookup. Meetups and organizations had a rotating cast of guys I who show up once to check things out but never really came back to be a part of the group.... maybe because NYer's are always so busy and need to prioritize their free time? IDK I'm a bit of a non-scene guy so maybe that could be the cause of frustration with it here. I did have the fortune of meeting my ex BF through a mutual friend just a year and half after moving here just by chance but think I may have gotten lucky finding someone LTR oriented. Putting myself out there after we broke up I saw how gay dating in NYC really went- needless to say it leaves a lot to be desired since every guy here seems distracted by chasing after the hottest guys or the many models that live here (when they're not in Europe or LA that is...) and I've become a bit jaded by my experiences.

I don't think gay dating is as hard in Chicago as I found it in NY but I'm worried if I didn't have success in NYC, which has a much larger and more diverse scene than the Windy City, than I'm not sure how much success will I really have back home? I guess we'll see in the spring when people come out from winter hibernation.

 

[mikey3000]

I've been following your story ever since you moved to NYC. Firstly, BRAVO TO YOU for trying. It was such an incredibly brave thing to do. So it didn't work out the way you planned this time, so what? Move back home, regroup, and try again. Baby steps man. I have friends who are pushing 50 and have never moved out. You are way ahead.