Abstinent relationship?

[Audio Tech]

I can only speak for myself, but for me "falling in love" with someone includes the deep desire to share myself fully with that person, to be one with him.

I have straight friends to be abstinent with. I may be totally wrong, but it seems unrealistic beyond anything besides friendship.

Interesting question.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, the people I love and don't have sex with are my freinds, not my relationships.

I'd have to say that sex for me is absolutely a requirement in a relationship.

 

[TX-Beau]

Consider, you made the choice to be abstinent, OK, your life, but if you expect someone to remain faithful to you, and also remain abstinent, you're making that decision for him too, and that's not fair.

That's a huge sacrifice you're requiring.

 

[Seasoned]

I think I understand your thoughts and feelings regarding sexual activity. Please realize what you are thinking and feeling today won't necessarily last a lifetime. I think therapy could be of benifit to you.

If your decision to remain celibate is coming from a healthy place then perhaps you could find someone like minded or someone who is incapable of having sex due to an injury, etc. Good luck to you.

 

[Corny]

*any* sexual activity?

Yeah well .. yep then this is commonly called a "friendship"

 

[KaraBulut]

Sexuality is part of a healthy relationship- whether it is a gay or straight relationship.

Closing the door on physical intimacy at age 18 isn't healthy and it will be limiting to your future relationships.

Instead of taking this absolute stand, you would be better off taking charge of the situation and getting into therapy to deal with the issue so that you can move forward instead of constantly looking back at your past.

 

[sixthson]

If you can find someone who feels exactly as you do, go for it.

You are talking about romantic love here. Romantic love goes beyond other kinds of love because it gets physical. We express our love for each other with our bodies, whether that be holding hands, kissing, hugging or having sex. I need to feel the heat of my man's body against mine, skin to skin. Something deep inside me needs to taste him, smell him, touch him. For healthy humans, our bodies crave to physcially express what we already feel in our hearts.
The intimacy of sex is a bond between us because it is exculusive. Certainly you can have sex with a stranger, but without love, it's just an orgasm. Between lovers, sex is physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual.

Just my opinion.

 

[Richardodessa]

"I'm a serious person when it comes to relationships and I was wondering if any of you would ever refrain from having sex if the person you fell in love with were abstinent."

Sorry, but for me....only if Hell Froze Over

 

[Just_Believe18]

99% of men are not going to get into a relationship with you that's celibate.

I also think you need to work out this aversion towards sex that you have. Here, I was thinking you went through a traumatic molestation phase early in your childhood. But experimenting with cousins? Really? I believe this is something you can work through.

There's no reason to close the door on most men just because you have a grudge towards sex.

 

[rareboy]

One word.

Counselling.

 

[bokan800]

I couldn't imagine not having sex with my boyfried, I would die....

 

[Lube]

1. Counseling.

Or, if that's not an option:

2. Find another self-identified asexual. You will be blissfully happy together. That's why we have labels.

 

[G-Lexington]

You don't go into detail (which is fine), but in short, because of what happened to you in the past, you're going to be eliminating the vast majority of guys with whom you might have a great and wonderful relationship. Rather than picking through the few that are left, why not work on working through your issues, so you won't be stuck having to settle for "somebody who won't mind not ever having sex"?

Lex