Accused Of Using Men For Sex Only

[schatzeboppes]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

Ralph, a one night stand with you would be more than enough.

 

[OrionNorthFL]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I could have and have had relationships and sex with members of both sexes.... BUT, I do have some weird "block" mentally that allows me to use men for sex easier than women for sex, and/or do some things with guys I wouldn't do with girls.

Case in point being I would NEVER rim a girl..... but I love rimming guys. It's not a "gross out" thing... I just wouldn't do it!

 

[daydreamer27]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I could have and have had relationships and sex with members of both sexes.... BUT, I do have some weird "block" mentally that allows me to use men for sex easier than women for sex, and/or do some things with guys I wouldn't do with girls.

Case in point being I would NEVER rim a girl..... but I love rimming guys. It's not a "gross out" thing... I just wouldn't do it!

you have something of an old school gentleman when it comes to women. I guess there are a lot of girls who would appreciate your wild side too.
as for the guys, you're such a horny pig

 

[HeliosZephyr]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I'm exactly like this. I'm not all that sexually attracted to women (though there are a couple I'd have sex with), but I find myself emotionally attracted to them all the time. Meanwhile, I'm never emotionally attracted to men. I just can't spark any feelings of love or romanticism toward them; but I sure as hell am sexually attracted to 'em.

 

[evilmonkey]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I would expect more open-mindedness from a forum such as this. It is sad to see that people in this lifestyle still want to group or classify themselves and other people.

You should be able to date whoever the hell you want and fuck whoever the hell you want as long as you are not intentionally hurting, deceiving, or abusing anyone. Two consenting adults should be able to do whatever the hell they want as long as no one else is getting hurt as a result. As long as these people have/show mutual respect for each other, who cares?

I expect better from this crowd, but i guess there are assholes that want to tell people how to live everywhere. If your conscience is clean RRRalph, then ignore these haters. I say keep doing what your doing and dont live your life to someone else's standards.

 

[MadScientick]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I'm just like that myself. It's heartbreaking when the guys feel they could actually start a relationship with you, but you know you won't live up to that. You just feel it and KNOW by heart you won't be there the way they ask. And if that's a crime, I'm fucking guilty. I don't control who I have deeper feelings for. It just happens. I can't say someday it won't happen to me that way with another guy, but I haven't found it in another man yet. I do believe it is possible for me to start a serious deep relationship with a guy, and I have tried before, but it's impossible when you don't feel it to be right. And when that happens it's better to either not get involved or just let things be as they are and not complicate it even further. Because both will be hurt afterwards.

I love women. I can say I am much more heterosexual than gay in that respect. But I can feel the same sexual intensity with both, and that's beautiful. Not everyone has that privilege. I just can't feel as attached to a guy as to a woman. And it really breaks my heart when guys I've had sex with feel used, because it's not my intention at all. It just is. There's nothing I can do about it.

 

[Candyapple]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

Why? I have no idea. I’m not bisexual. Maybe it has something to do with machismo. Maybe it has something to do with these men wanting biological children. Maybe these men have been hurt by other men in the past. I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t understand the excuse, “I was born that way.” Someone is going to have to explain that one to me.

Can you explain why you're gay? Or is it, in fact, because you were born that way? Why is suddenly an 'excuse' when used by someone who isn't gay? Why do you think that other people choose their sexuality?

I assume you often deal with women in your life - friends, family, colleagues, neighbours. I assume there are some women you like and get on well with, maybe some women you love, as friends or sisters.

So how would you feel if someone asked you 'if women are good enough to be your friends, why aren't they good enough for you to fuck? To kiss? To fall in love with? To marry?' You know that you can't make yourself fall in love with women. That doesn't mean that you hate women, or that you don't like them. You just don't feel that way about them.

So I don't get why it's so hard for you to understand why people can be attracted to men physically, but not capable of falling in love with them. You can feel lust and physical attraction without feeling romantic attraction.

And there are some bi men here on JUB who are the 'other way round' - they lust after men and women, but only fall in love with men. Do you condemn them, too?

 

[lucius]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

men are nothing but meat to me, although i haven't fallen in love with a woman, i have thoughts, strong desires to have a family with one.

men are things of beauty, equally so much as women, but they are both so different. my desire for men is that of a 'oh my sweet virgin mary, you're hot' kinda way, but with women it's like, 'i love your smile, your laugh, the way you think and how beautiful the children we would have.

...but i don't feel attached to them as more than friends with benefits. it's weird. and i don't even know what i feel towards most men. i think of them as very attractive, but do i want to forgo children for the sake of some dumb jock?

i feel it might be a subconscious desire for me to procreate that causes me to lust madly for the sexual 'skills' of men, but at the same time, fall in love with the personalities and 'ovaries' of a woman. I want 'da bebes' so I choose to select women as my wives, men as my concubines.

P.S. RRRalph's a hottie!

 

[RRRalph]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

^ Thanks Candy. Excellent post!

I think it's great that you are posting threads like this, to educate those people who can't see past their own mentality. People are always going to be afraid of things they don't understand.

Thanx Stacy!

I just consider myself bi because i can have sex with girls, its just sex and getting pleasured, but i cant "love" them. I fall in love with guys....

I forgot to say that there is an opposite possibility. I came across this post in another thread.

 

[lyconthrope]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

RRRalph, I dont think you or anyone needs to justify the way they feel to anyone.

Nobody knows how another person feels and can not tell them they are wrong for feeling a certain way.
I think everyone has a valid point but some seem to be unwilling to listen to other peoples opinions.

This was started as an information gathering thread and the name calling and accusations are not necessary, no one is demanding you agree with everyone but you do at least have to respect that you dont know how a person feels or why they feel that way (most of the time the individual in question has no idea either!)

Please lets not let this get personal, everyone deserves the right to express their opinion without being attacked for it

 

[weasley]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

i find the word 'using' a little misrepresenting! i mean because you can always say no. you can't just go and say the sex was great but i feel being used, in that case you're using Ralph just as much as he's 'using' you. lol, just kidding. By the way, it's easier to be almighty and judge on others, it really makes my dick soft.

 

[TierraSimms]

Re: Accused For Using Men For Sex Only

What about me doing that to you, sugar

Well, I've never!

























Just kidding. I have, and then some.

 

[lucius]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

i have a question, if you form relationships with women that are 'more substantial' and longer lasting, why is it you even seek men?

specifically, if you feel that you fall in love with women and not with men, why even engage in a sexual act? that's like fulfilling your homosexual desires and then leaving your 'sex partner' hanging.

it seems as though you're saying you treat men like a cigarette...no pun or hehe-sexual reference intended. you satisfy your desire for it and then go back inside to your comfortable manner of thinking of 'oh, i just don't love men'

i can totally understand that this might be possible and that this is how you feel, but why on God's green Earth would you make a post about it?

none of use here can crucify you for this, it's just odd to me. you post on a LGBT forum...maybe not the L...and then expect us to ratify this thinking as totally benign.

is this how you really feel? it just seems like the psychology behind this is really complex, difficult for me to fashion an understanding...

i smell a case study!

 

[tila123]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

again i say............

 

[RRRalph]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

You have some fair questions Lucius. Let me answer them for you.

i can totally understand that this might be possible, but why would you make a post about it?

I made a tread about this cuz many doesn’t seem to understand that this is possible.

if you feel that you fall in love with women and not with men, why even engage in a sexual act?

Cuz sex is wonderfull. Sex with women is wonderfull and sex with men is wonderfull as well.

if you form relationships with women that are 'more substantial', why is it you even seek men?

I have been in a couple relationships with woman. I don't crave for men when i'm with my ex gfs. But when i'm single i'm open for fun with women and with men, cuz i’m sexually attracted to both.

 

[timnmostud]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I think all of our sexuality is different. I really think RRRalph is being very honest and he's putting himself out there. I have to admit I have learned a lot about bisexuality from his points of view. Unfortunately, I think there are men who use the label as a bridge to admitting they are gay. I don't think he is one of those. I know my own sexual interests are pretty fluid as to what and whom I find attractive. I don't think that always stays the same throughout your life. Although my interest has always been strictly gay since I was a small child, I am willing to believe that not everyone else's has to be so.

 

[TierraSimms]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

After thinking this over throughly, I think Ralph's sexuality is very fluid. He is emotionally drawn to women (due to whatever that is) for serious relationships. His attachment to men are physical (due to whatever reason), and is authentic.

However, the only thing that can be somewhat alarming is his very fluidity of sexuality when single towards either gender. In some way, it can be seen as "using" someone or just finding them as a "recreational activity". You might have slight issue there because unless you let them know up front that is sort of "leading somebody on". I can understand what many homosexual men mean by you "using somebody for sex".

Like has been said over and over again, sexuality is very fluid and can't be really explained with broad brush. That's just from a pyschoanalytical point-of-view of somebody studying sexual behavior in grad school.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Re: Accused For Using Men For Sex Only

One of my Jub buddies noticed that i seem to be connected to a certain controversy. It is about me having sex with men & women and me choosing only women to start a longterm relationship with. One gay man accused me of using men for sex only. Some are having a personal vendetta with me and some even dedicate a whole thread about my way of life.

It all comes down to my inability to feel emotionally conected to men, but yet the ability to feel sexual attracted to men. I don’t repress and i don’t ignore my emotional or romantic feelings for men at all. If i fall in love with a man, that will be fine as well. I don’t choose women for social acceptance. I do make out with men in public, so it isn't about acceptance.

I understand that gay men feel like a second rang low life when someone says to them: i can have sex with you, but i can’t love you. It doesn’t seem fair, but i can’t help it. It’s not that i don’t want to, but i just can’t. I feel friendship when i have sex with a man. It is sex with a buddy: fun and wild. Nothing emotional and nothing romantic.

Yes, some people are in denial and use this as a cover up, but this is not always the case. I want to emphasize that it is not a choice to live this way. The intention of this thread is to clarify this two gender lust and one gender love possibility. When you have a couple of questions, just ask. Are there more people who has this kind of bisexuality?

What are your thoughts about this subject?

Maybe that's it. Maybe that's been the problem that I've had dating bisexuals.

They didn't know how to articulate their feelings the way that you have here.

I wanted the romance, and they just wanted the sex.

You've seriously given me something to think about!

 

[lucius]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

I have been in a couple relationships with woman. I don't crave for men when i'm with my ex gfs. But when i'm single i'm open for fun with women and with men, cuz i’m sexually attracted to both.

so, then it's safe to say, that your attraction isn't equal? you feel that you can have more complex relationships with women? do you know why. i'm curious now.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Re: Using Men For Sex Only

so, then it's safe to say, that your attraction isn't equal? you feel that you can have more complex relationships with women? do you know why. i'm curious now.

I think the best way to describe the attraction is that it's different, not necessarily unequal. I think - in my case, at least - that I get different things from the different genders; the sexual attraction to both, though, is extremely high.

Why is there a different attraction? I really don't know.

-d-