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Addiction/Substance Abuse

ahotjock71

ahotjock71

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Hey everybody! It's been a LONG time but I'm around again, and feeling good about myself & things.

With everything different now on the boards with formats & such I really don't know where to share this.

For a long time I have delt with depression, suicide, being positive, family & social issues. Last year was almost the breaking point when it came to suicide, with me even posting a cry for help here. You guys poured out love & compassion that, quite frankly, scared me. LOL

Several of you reached out to board admin & had the local authorities contacted to check on me. People who really don't care don't go to such lengths to make sure someone is safe & it has touched me on so many levels.

The issue that I want to share now is for 8 months I have tried to escape my life & problems through "TINA." (aka crystal meth)

Oy Vey, what a STUPID mistake!

I had heard from others of the friendships, sex & fun that was to be had in that world. I met someone who took me right to Atlanta & into a world that seemed wonderful, exciting & new.

I had thought that people who PNP would be cool, accepting, understanding. Yeah. PPPPPttttthhhhhh!

I have waisted time, money, energy & part of my own soul searching for acceptance in a world filled with the most judgemental, mean, uptight & just plain CRAZY people that I break down & cry when I think where I could be now.

LUCKILY the demon bitch (TINA) couldn't sink her claws in me deep enough to hold me or addict me. THANK YOU GOD!

But I think had I been thought "hot" enough to be popular in that world I would have become addicted & on a path of destruction...of myself, and those around me.

I have only this month been completely free, having no cravings to jump in my truck (which I wrecked due to tina back in january, coulda killed myself! ugh.) and go visit my "friends" and escape again. Over the past few months I've deleted those "friends" & gotten away from that life.

I'm not really sure why I'm typing all this, and right now it looks crazy in this little window on my screen, I hope it makes sense to you. LOL

I guess I'm catching those of you up who have cared about me & maybe somebody like me will read this & glean some hope from it.

Before I was introduced to "the game" as it's referred to I was one who looked down my nose at such drug abuse & never thought I'd be typing a post like this. But it can happen to anyone. It can also be beaten by anyone.

I also hope to start a discussion thread or group of people who have been "touched" by this scourge & share stories & experiences in hopes of building a strong community of clean people for support & to help educate those thinking of entering, or just entering, that awful, awful, world.

I haven't been able to search other threads yet as I'm on dial-up tonight & it's just too much trouble. LOL

That drug is destroying our community!!!!!!!
 
Thanks for sharing! And I'm glad you're alright.

I hope it makes sense to you.
Click to expand...

I think it'll make sense to anybody who has been there or has watched somebody go there. It's quite classic. And it's quite sad to watch somebody go down that road knowing there isn't anything you can really do to prevent it.

But welcome back and good luck with the recovery!! It gets easier with time!
 
Crystal is a big problem these days, especially among gay men and in the western half of the country (although its widespread use continues to spread geographically). I've known far too many people who utterly and completely destroyed their lives through that stuff, although I know many who managed to escape before it was too late too.
 
I'm glad you're doing ok.


I live in Oregon and Meth is a huge problem here. I've seen people's lives get destroyed by it both in school and outside.
 
here and there I see the comment that "more gays and lesbians have died from substance abuse than from AIDS"; seems that stat might be so, from my perspective. You ask for responses from people who have been "touched" but this scourge of addiction; I have. Welcome to the clean world, but clean and sober is only the first step; I would stongly encourage an active program - NA and
AA are certainly proven places to start. Please stay in contact on this forum. We do care about each other.
 
Happy to report 3 months clean & more grateful for my freedom from those cravings & wanting to be around the leeches & vampires in that world who suck the very soul out of you. :-)
 
Congratulations! Addiction can happen to anyone, and it is admirable when people can break out of it. I haven't met anyone while they are actively using crystal meth but I know several people who have recovered from it. I would highly suggest attending AA meetings to you... AA is for more than just alcoholics, anyone with addiction is welcome there... there are plenty of people who can help you stay sober and its a great place to meet clean people. Congratulations on sobriety welcome to your new life!
 
i have never taken any drugs. sounds boring hey.

only occasional social drinks.
 
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