Advice for new Top with average penis

[collegedude00]

Hi, everyone. So a little about me:

I’m a 20 year old college student with honestly no sexual experience (girls and guys) and my penis is between 5.5 to 6 inches when erect.

I recently met a guy at school (who also has no sexual experience) and we decided to have some fun ha ha. I was excited to try fucking since he wanted to bottom. So we’ve done it 3 times already this month and I keep running into the same problem.

I just feel like my penis isn’t long enough for me to do hard, satisfying thrusts. I know porn isn’t accurate by any means but in those vids you always see the dude pull out (not all the way) but then go in again. When I pull out to thrust again my dick immediately comes out of my partner’s butt. It’s like my penis isn’t long enough and I feel like I can’t thrust properly because it’s not long enough. So I keep my thrusts short, because I feel like I can’t go deep enough and my penis always comes out if I back up to do a deeper thrust.

Does anyone with a smaller penis have any advice for me? I know I sound like a noob but I just want to satisfy my partner by being able to fuck him deep and hard. Thanks for any advice. I really appreciate it.

 

[KaraBulut]

Is deeper thrusting something that you enjoy or something that your partner enjoys? For the bottom, pulling all the way out and "thrusting" doesn't offer any particular pleasure for the person bottoming; it mostly just traps air in the rectum that has to find its way out, with the accompanying noise. While it's great that the two of you are experimenting and trying new things, ask your partner if it's something that he wants.

Your penis is in the average size range and is plenty of penis to get your partner off. Depth of penetration is usually controlled by two factors- body size and position.

Guys who are carrying extra weight in the belly or in the buttocks (about an 1" to 1-1/2" is needed just to get past the butt cheeks) will find it more difficult to go deeper.

It's also more difficult to get deep penetration from certain positions. Doggy-style, while popular, isn't the best position for deeper penetration. You might try positions that separate the legs and butt better, like missionary with a pillow under the bottom's hips or cowboy/reverse-cowboy.

If the guy that you're topping really enjoys the idea of being deeply penetrated, then there are dildos and penis extenders that will accomplish this. Since you're both new to this and you're both interested in experimenting and trying new things, before you go the route of toys, you might experiment to find out what he gives him pleasure. There are thing that are mentally turn-ons but when it comes to anal sex, most of the pleasure is from friction in the anus, stretching of the anal sphincter and stimulation of the prostate; you have plenty of size to accomplish all three of these things. Instead of just focusing on your penis, maybe a tongue or a few fingers might be something you want to try to help him find what it is that gives him the most pleasure?

 

[jockofstrap]

Its not the size of the cock that counts its the reward of cum that cums from jack off session to blow jobs and fucking.

 

[checkinthingsout]

Check out more amateur porn. Most guys aren't thrusting as wildly as some of the more over produced items. I think it comes down to your positioning and his positioning more than anything.

Also, if you are carrying a few extra pounds, losing a bit of weight can reduce the size of fat cells in your pelvic area above the penis, and allow you to get a bit deeper penetration.

 

[shaunisaac]

You are fine when it comes to size. Trust me its more than enough to make a bottom satisfied.

 

[Laboyes]

My boyfriend's penis is about 1/2" smaller than mine with less girth, but we have each accepted that he is much better about giving me pleasure when I bottom than I give him when he bottoms. He is more experienced and generally better about the way in which he is able to move himself than I am.

When I top I have to keep in mind that it clearly isn't my size that matters, 'cause he's smaller than I am and better able to pleasure me than I am able to do him. I've got to really focus on what I'm doing to try giving each of us a great experience. I have to try reading his body to figure out what feels right to him.

I'm going to read up on how to have better anal sex in general, because that will probably equip me for it better than worrying about my size. I suggest you do the same.

 

[mcbrion]

Is deeper thrusting something that you enjoy or something that your partner enjoys? For the bottom, pulling all the way out and "thrusting" doesn't offer any particular pleasure for the person bottoming; it mostly just traps air in the rectum that has to find its way out, with the accompanying noise. While it's great that the two of you are experimenting and trying new things, ask your partner if it's something that he wants.

Your penis is in the average size range and is plenty of penis to get your partner off. Depth of penetration is usually controlled by two factors- body size and position.

Guys who are carrying extra weight in the belly or in the buttocks (about an 1" to 1-1/2" is needed just to get past the butt cheeks) will find it more difficult to go deeper.

It's also more difficult to get deep penetration from certain positions. Doggy-style, while popular, isn't the best position for deeper penetration. You might try positions that separate the legs and butt better, like missionary with a pillow under the bottom's hips or cowboy/reverse-cowboy.

If the guy that you're topping really enjoys the idea of being deeply penetrated, then there are dildos and penis extenders that will accomplish this. Since you're both new to this and you're both interested in experimenting and trying new things, before you go the route of toys, you might experiment to find out what he gives him pleasure. There are thing that are mentally turn-ons but when it comes to anal sex, most of the pleasure is from friction in the anus, stretching of the anal sphincter and stimulation of the prostate; you have plenty of size to accomplish all three of these things. Instead of just focusing on your penis, maybe a tongue or a few fingers might be something you want to try to help him find what it is that gives him the most pleasure?

^^^

What Kara said. Do you guys talk about the experience at all afterwards, as in "do you like it when I thrust harder, or do you like for me to go slower/faster..." you get the idea. If you communicate about the sex, you have less anxiety than if you just "do it" and it's over and you don't ask questions. Good sex ALWAYS involves asking questions of your partner: it makes both of you less anxious and more satisfied.

 

[MoDo88]

I can relate to this a lot. I'm very much a top, but I struggle with finding the right rhythm, positions, and angles to fully pleasure the bottom. I'm between 5'5 and 6 hard as well (probably closer to 6, but I don't think that matters much) and I also find that I can't get in as deep as I may want to, or as deep as HE might want me to - I do think that 5'5/6 really is too small for certain bottoms who have a.) big asses, or b.) need deeper penetration to get off. Also, my erection is one of those tricky ones that points straight up. Which, people say is a 'good thing' because it apparently hits the prostate easier and/or more effectively, but it definitely doesn't help me to sustain an erection when trying to fuck in certain positions. I find that when he tries to ride me or when we're fucking missionary, it can be extremely difficult because that involves my cock having to angle downward, which can cause a lot of discomfort with the way my erection is. It's like bending a finger backwards, only that finger is your penis and you're trying to sustain it's hardness.

Combine that with my self image and insecurity issues... and sex is just a grand 'ol time, lemme tell you!

 

[DarkHelios]

I can relate to this a lot. I'm very much a top, but I struggle with finding the right rhythm, positions, and angles to fully pleasure the bottom. I'm between 5'5 and 6 hard as well (probably closer to 6, but I don't think that matters much) and I also find that I can't get in as deep as I may want to, or as deep as HE might want me to - I do think that 5'5/6 really is too small for certain bottoms who have a.) big asses, or b.) need deeper penetration to get off. Also, my erection is one of those tricky ones that points straight up. Which, people say is a 'good thing' because it apparently hits the prostate easier and/or more effectively, but it definitely doesn't help me to sustain an erection when trying to fuck in certain positions. I find that when he tries to ride me or when we're fucking missionary, it can be extremely difficult because that involves my cock having to angle downward, which can cause a lot of discomfort with the way my erection is. It's like bending a finger backwards, only that finger is your penis and you're trying to sustain it's hardness.

Combine that with my self image and insecurity issues... and sex is just a grand 'ol time, lemme tell you!

I notice you say how deep he "might" want you to. That makes me think you haven't spoken to him about it. You're insecurity is based on what you *think* people want instead of what they actually want.

 

[KaraBulut]

I notice you say how deep he "might" want you to. That makes me think you haven't spoken to him about it. You're insecurity is based on what you *think* people want instead of what they actually want.

^This.

Too often in relationships, we project our own insecurity onto the other person and we "think" we know what they're thinking.

If you want to know what your partner wants- ask him. The answer might surprise you. Or it might not surprise you. Either way, the only way you're going to be able to come up with creative things to keep it interesting in the bedroom is if you're both willing to talk about your fantasies, what you enjoy, what you want to try and to create a place in your bedroom where you're both willing to experiment and act out your fantasies.

 

[novastar]

Stop worrying and enjoy yourself. My top is over 9" bbc. You have far less prep work to do