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Advice Needed :D

variglog

variglog

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Hmm.. So how should I start this..

So I met who I thought was the most attractive person ever (I really love short but well built asians) and I thought it went really well. But the next day, I just got deleted by him on skype and I don't even know if was because I was too needy?

Well, another problem is that I'm now in college and having asian parents, they somehow found me accommodations for myself about half an hour away from my school. This may sound good, but its honestly been really lonely and I really miss the small city.

So any advice would be good ^^. I just feel lost and confused these days, and I guess I was a little clingy with this person, but it wasn't without reason. Also, its weird, I haven't even been able to get off since this meeting, and its already been a week.

Well, have a nice day.:D
 
Hey Variglog, I'm an Asian but find your first post a bit "cloudy", and not sure what you're after, or what I can recommend to you to feel better / safe. PM me if you prefer, or let us all know more about the situation so we can help you.

In any event, welcome to JUB!
 
Hello :D I'm Chris by the way.

Oh! y'all have mind that goes to dark places! It was just a meeting over lunch, so I guess I thought it could be more when it can't. I guess I was just really hopeful, but has been really depressed that it never worked out.
 
Welcome to JUB. It's easy to be impatient when it seems like you've been waiting so long for something. It's not uncommon to meet a lot of people before you find one that feels the same way about you as you do about him. Think about this. When you go shoe shopping do you buy the first pair you try? Establishing a relationship is serious and you will one day wish to be picky and make sure the guy is the right fit besides having the right look. I suggest relaxing and having fun while you guy "shop."

It'll happen one day and chances are it will take you by surprise. Good luck and keep coming back here. The guys are great and helpful.
 
Yeah, any kind of change is scary and uncomfortable. Moving and starting college--either one is high on the list of stressors, but together, they're monsters. And add trying to meet new people. It's no wonder you feel the way you do. And so do lots of others around you.

Have you talked to people in your classes? Ask to meet after class to go over notes, or just comment on what you like/dislike about the course. The key to meeting people is often not actually trying too hard.
 
First rule of Gayclub:

Relax. You are going to be a lifetime member, so learn to breathe.

You obviously feel you presented as too needy. You probably did. You probably scared the guy.

We all are over anxious and over reaching at many points in our lives....so again....relax.

Start to search out real people as friends. Of every age, all sexes and interests. You don't have to be lonely. But you will be if you're shutting yourself in your apartment and only looking for hook-ups or connections on the net.
Particularly when you start just shopping for body type. This way lies neurosis.


Join a club or other organization. Volunteer for something. Go to a gym.



You'll be fine.
 
I can't believe how I'm explaining myself online (It just seems weird to me). I guess you're right, I probably did. But the thing is though, I do not "shop" as you suggest, but instead its more along the lines of it just fell into place, I guess.

I do understand its a big change, and its probably true that I should stop locking myself in my suite thats not even at school, but getting out is just difficult. In my mind, this parallels itself to a cargo operator attempting to deliver freight.

I do get out during the week and I do think I have friends, but I guess I should just try to be myself :)

Thanks for the Gayclub introduction, thats cute.
 
hi Chris,

Welcome to JUB, and feel free to ask as many questions you like.

I have no clue where you are going to college right now (within the US?), but I was wondering if there was also some sort of queer group on your college. Becoming member of such a queer group is a relaxed way to meet other gay guys.

I was also wondering if you are open, or still (deep?) in the closet. I mean, is it easy for other gays (eg at your college) to know that you 'are around'? Or do you 'hide' yourself from any other open gay? In this case, it will be tough for any other gay to see that you are 'looking around' / 'available' / 'a single gay'.

Besides that, take your time, and for sure you will meet other nice guys.
You wrote:
I do get out during the week and I do think I have friends.
Click to expand...
Are you open towards them?

Just some questions which came up when I was reading this thread. Feel free to provide me / us with some details, but feel also free when you don't like to tell too much in detail about your private life.

Best wishes & good luck.
 
Oh! I don't really care how much I share, but heres my answer.

I am not a member of a queer group, and that is not something that my parents would condone. I attend school in Canada, at the University of British Columbia to be more specific.

I do not tell my friend that I am gay because I do not like judgement. Thanks for all the help, but I am just minutes from snapping.

If y'all have time, skype me.
 
variglog said:
Oh! I don't really care how much I share, but heres my answer.

I am not a member of a queer group, and that is not something that my parents would condone. I attend school in Canada, at the University of British Columbia to be more specific.

I do not tell my friend that I am gay because I do not like judgement. Thanks for all the help, but I am just minutes from snapping.

If y'all have time, skype me.
Click to expand...

Dude, you're a little hottie! Trust me, lots of guys in your school would love to hook up with you or date you. Let your homo flag fly! ..|
 
Lol actually, I don't feel particularly attractive to be honest, and the only time I've received a complement from another guy was when I was at a gay club and a 55+ year old started making passes at me.
 
Why would your parents need to know that you're a member of a gay club?

I can't see it coming up or them finding out unless you brought it up first or they somehow kept tabs on where you were at all times, which seems nigh impossible, even in this age of technology.

Also, while I generally don't condone lying to your parents, I can understand why sometimes we feel that it's necessary. I could certainly see trying to get some gay friends and then coming out at some point, as opposed to vice-versa.
 
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