Advice on Bareback

[Aloy_1756]

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice on having sex without a condom. I'm genuinely interested what the people on this board think about the risk versus reward, does it feel better than sex with a condom?

I'm having sex more often now and I'm curious to see what it feels like, but I want to act responsibly also. I'm thinking of inquiring about taking Pre-ep and while a I know that doesn't stop STD's, if I get into the scenario of being with someone for an amount of time to the point I can trust them, I would like to experience sex without that barrier.

I'd love to hear everyone's advice and thoughts on what that feeling is like.

 

[SeaCore]

I don't really think it's a great idea, especially now, but here are some thoughts I had. I don't have any experience with this but it might could spark a more informed thought in someone else.
You didn't specify whether you're primarily interested in topping or bottoming and I've heard there are different risks associated with each.
For bottoming I'd imagine you'd need to be a bit more mindful of your diet so you're less likely to have small abrasions from pooping.
You'd absolutely want to use a lot of lube so there's less of a chance of tears. I think silicone based lubes are some of the longest lasting lubes, though maybe oil based would be good too since you're not wearing a condom? I don't really know much about that lube so definitely do your research.

I've heard Prep is hard on your liver, but I don't know. If it is make sure you're aware of the risks and complications of having liver damage down the road but don't take my word for it, check if that's a risk for taking Prep.

You might would want to practice pulling out because the semen probably is another vector for potential contagions.

Hope this made some points people can branch off of. If nothing else I do think you should strongly consider tabling this until after the pandemic, I'm not trying to rain on your fun but I don't want you paying a steep price either and these are particularly strange times.

 

[Briacon429]

I think it all depends on how monogamous you are. Obviously the more guys you’re sleeping with, the riskier it is, PrEP or no PrEP. (Keep in mind that PrEP only protects against HIV but not other diseases. I also agree with SeaCore that this is probably not a good time for casual sex anyway.)

On the other hand, in a committed relationship, it’s fantastic! My husband and I stopped using condoms after we’d been exclusive for about six months and had both gotten tested. That was ten years ago, and we’ve been fucking bareback ever since. Honestly, it’s one of the biggest perks of being monogamous. (That, and the fact that you can safely get laid during quarantine too!) Still, I wouldn’t bareback under any other circumstances.

 

[KaraBulut]

Those of us who have been around for a few decades have been through several periods of thinking things were "safe". That's always short-lived. In the end, biology and microbes bring a reality check to ruin the party.

There was a time when we thought, "Ah, a shot of penicillin will fix it". Then penicillin stopped working and it become trickier to treat gonorrhea and other bacterial STIs.

Then came hepatitis. Then genital herpes (HSV). Then HIV. Now it's papilloma (HPV) and oral, anal and rectal cancers caused by HPV. And apparently, now COVID-19 is a concern.

What do all of these viral illnesses have in common? They're all dependent upon multiple partners and body fluid exchange to spread.


Lesson learned: sex is risky; it's riskier when you have sex with multiple people; it's even riskier when you have unprotected sex; it's extremely risky when you are on the receiving end of unprotected anal sex.

PrEP has its place. But it's also being misinterpreted as a "get out of jail card" for breaking all the common sense rules of risk reduction.

If I were single or in an open relationship, would I be doing bareback? No.

 

[Aloy_1756]

Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply been a busy week. Thankyou for the feedback

I was mostly seeking advice on how it feels and if it's worth it. I think the general consensus is that it's great, but definitely something worth waiting for until you are absolutely sure you have a partner that has no potential risks associated with them. Definitely feel like one day giving it a go under the right circumstances.

That being said as a bottom, I'd love to hear peoples thoughts on how much pleasure is achieved compared to having someone with a condom have sex with you?

 

[ShadowCat]

IT AINT WORTH IT! Just doing oral and making out with a guy whose status I didn't know was enough to turn me into a quivering mess I couldn't imagine if we fucked I'd have probably given myself a stroke or heart attack! Covid and my mistake have taught me that life is indeed precious we only have the one if we fuck it up thats it No randos EVER AGAIN!

 

[cabinfever]

I might be able to answer your question - have had plenty of bareback sex as I was in my 20s and got alot before AIDS.

IMO - the biggest sex organ is the brain and yeah - It feels good when you fantasize about it afterward if it was a good fuck or even when it is happening and you were really turned on by the guy and even if you orgasm at the same time - the brain still is the dominant force but in the end - the actual feeling is NOT WORTH it.

Use protection and when you fantasize afterward - assuming you do (I mostly fantasized about sex and guys I already had) - you can just insert the orgasm and let your brain take care of it and avoid the disease . I think the biggest excitement is feeling his excitement which you can do with a rubber on. IN reality - you can have it coming out of your ass at some really awkward times even after you shower depending on how much and how deep it was - and that can really suck.



You truly aren't missing much - stick with the protection.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

Bareback. Call the free health clinic "STD-Bingo". Warning other guys after your umpteenth infection isn't all it's cracked up to be. A few months ago caught something puss-leaky in Dijon... had it treated at the Urgences there... and no, it wasn't treated with mustard.

But, even though I always- ALWAYS- have condoms with me, do not like being topped by someone with them on exclusively. (Should probably get some PreP...)

So no, barebacking not recommended by me... but safe sex isn't that easy to do right. Find that I need more/better lube and will lose my erection because of condoms and also tight bottoms will have even more difficulty getting it in. Also, it usually feels less good.

In Copenhagen a guy fucked me in the dark (dark) darkroom. Pulled his condom off (remember, a lot of guys start with condoms and discard them later). He went rather than continue him. Did I attempt to rape him?

 

[juicyjack]

Barebacking is why so many gay men(and women who have sex with gay men) have contracted HIV. I think regardless of what you plan to do, take PREP(if your dr agrees obviously). Gives you a peace of mind. However you are dealing with so many more STIs with barebacking anyway and I agree with Hark here, going through infections are not a happy thing even without long term effects.

 

[TX-Beau]

Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply been a busy week. Thankyou for the feedback

I was mostly seeking advice on how it feels and if it's worth it. I think the general consensus is that it's great, but definitely something worth waiting for until you are absolutely sure you have a partner that has no potential risks associated with them. Definitely feel like one day giving it a go under the right circumstances.

That being said as a bottom, I'd love to hear peoples thoughts on how much pleasure is achieved compared to having someone with a condom have sex with you?

It certainly feels better on top, not sure it makes much difference except psychologically for the bottom. There is nothing magical about it, for some guys the risk is the allure. Danger has always had it's aficionados. Per the rest, sex has always been risky, so is driving to work, much more likely to kill you. Driving however does not carry the same kind of social stigmas and judgements as homo butt sex. Straight sex sans condom is also just as risky - I'd say more so with the whole pregnancy thing tossed in.

You are going to have to decide for yourself how much risk you're going to accept, and where you are going to draw the line.