Advice On Cheating

[wonderwort]

 

[Lefty]

Old Loud mouth rides again............

Danny has a relationship.
Relationship becomes academic as 'partner' would rather cheat
with his best friend Roie and the boys.
Danny feels the need for something his NOW flatmate does not
want to do with him. (but still dates his own hand)
Danny asks for on a number of occasions and is rebuffed.
Flatmate says maybe someday in the future.
Danny thinks this is not the best affiliation maybe I should check
the want ads. Checks, decides he'll tough it out and try to fix
the 'flat tire and oil pressure' problem.

Sorry sports fans. Danny didn't cheat. Sorry sports fans, if there
is a confession or explanation due it is from the other party. The
guy was yanking his own doodle regardless of bogus excuses about
weed or drugs. The equipment worked EH?.

Danny gets support for coming back and trying even after MONTHS of
rejection. Its not like they had a cat fight on Thursday and Danny went
out on Friday and got fucking laid because he was pissed now was it?

JMHO lads.

 

[palemale]

You say you told your bf that if you didn't get sex with him, you'd look elsewhere. Are you so sure he didn't expect you to stray?

As someone else here said, human emotions are complex. Some spouses would rather not know that their spouse is straying. DADT may no longer exist in the military, but it has a long history in human relationships. Some people feel guilty about their activities and feel the need to tell their partners. Telling your bf may alleviate your guilt at the expense of causing him a lot of pain he might wish to avoid.

 

[canesnbeach]

Tell him. This shit tends to come out sooner or later.

And for your bf's sake, I hope you used a condom when you went off to fuck somebody else.

 

[uslad7]

He did not want sex for three months. So, he did not take your needs into consideration while he was being celibate.

So, keep quiet, be thankful your relationship has improved, go on with your lives as if nothing has happened.

Wow

You mentioned your bf was on antidepressants, so he was obviously going through a bit of a rough patch with them.

Whether it was 3 months or 3 years, cheating while in a relationship is morally wrong. You need release? Jack off. If you can't take it, then break up.

Every relationship goes through hard times, but there's no excuse for being unfaithful. None.

I've been in a similar place to yours before, so I know what it feels like, but I never did anything with anyone else. If ever I did, I would tell him, even if he's the love of my life and I love him so much and we're soul mates and it'll be the end and blah blah blah. All justifications.

 

[Rolyo85]

Telling him that he's just a cheater who's destined to cheat because that's what cheaters do, is less than helpful to anyone - and while I'm sure it gave all you paragons of alabaster moral rectitude great satisfaction to damn the infidel, I'm going to call everyone who's said that a liar if he claims he never lied to his partner, or kept secrets, or done any number of things - and yes even cheat.

I'll just leave this here...

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

Who are you seeking forgiveness from? Your conscious? Your boyfriend? Both?

You made a mistake and realized you did wrong. In a situation like this, I feel there is no way you won't be potentially screwed. Either you reveal that you cheated, where you have to face a possible break up or the re-establishment of trust. Or you can carry this weight on your shoulders, where the truth may come out eventually and you'll be a liar..or maybe you'll find out he cheated on you!

Some people are saying you shouldn't tell for the sake of your relationship. Seems to me the initial problem was that you didn't say enough to begin with.

I hope that you do the right thing, whatever that may be. Consider that sometimes the biggest mistake people make is not saying anything I know I'd be more angry at my boyfriend for not telling me over the fact that he cheated. Consider that the truth hurts and some people would rather have a heavy dose of bullshit any day. You know him more than I

 

[MoltenRock III]

Frankly, it sounds like you need communication help in your relationship. Secondly, you owe it to yourself and your partner to go get tested again, I don't care if you are claiming you were "safe". And lastly, assuming your test comes back clean it's on your conscience, deal with it, no need to tell him. Your desire to tell him again is all about you and your need to feel forgiven. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way, so live with your own guilt.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Please keep us posted on your situation. Tell him. It's the right thing to do.