Advice: Should I give him my number?

[Shadowplay]

So, I'm on an online dating site where I have happened to come across a guy who really intrigues me. He lives in another city a few hours from me. Although, the distance isn't the most practical way to being a relationship, I would really like to get to know him. I have no expectations of entering a relationship with him, but I would like to gain a friendship because he seems like someone I could have an amazing friendship with.

I was looking for advice because I want to converse with him. I'm anxious to know more about him. He isn't online very often. The last time he was online, I missed my opportunity to talk with him. Would it be a good idea to give him my number to text or would that appear too desperate? I really don't want to lose a chance at gaining his friendship because of the little I know about him, he seems like the friend I've been waiting for. I don't have much experience approaching people for conversation period, much less talking to other guys. I don't want to scare him or make him uncomfortable.

I could stand being rejected by him for just not being interested. I don't want to come on too strong and make myself off-putting before we got to know each other. Would giving him my number be too forward?

 

[HunterM]

He lives a few hours away from you. You don't see yourself being in a relationship with him due to the long distance.

Use email as your communication for now. Until you know him better via email. Don't give out your phone number until you have met him in person to make sure he's not a serial killer.

 

[Craiger]

Do you have free time and reason that you could actually drive to his area? If so, you could make a comment that you will be in his area on a certain date and would like to meet him for coffee or lunch. If he accepts your suggestion and you meet, then you will have a much better idea about giving out your number. This would not seem desperate or out of the ordinary but shows that you have an interest in becoming friends. In the mean time, as Hunter suggests, use email for you communications. Good luck and let us know how is goes.

Craiger

 

[checkinthingsout]

You can use a google voice number or do skype voice calls if you are worried about not giving out your information. But this depends on if he is really into you and feel comfortable talking on the phone in the first place.

 

[Shadowplay]

Thank you, guys, I really appreciate the advice. Although, I sort of feel like I ruined my second opportunity at talking to him last night. I hope I'm not making a bad impression. It's hard for me to communicate myself properly because I don't want to seem too formal but I don't want to come off as stupid either.

 

[Seasoned]

You could start communicating with him with the words you used above. "I'm not very experienced. I don't want to be off putting, but I'm interested in getting to know you."

 

[checkinthingsout]

Thank you, guys, I really appreciate the advice. Although, I sort of feel like I ruined my second opportunity at talking to him last night. I hope I'm not making a bad impression. It's hard for me to communicate myself properly because I don't want to seem too formal but I don't want to come off as stupid either.

Break the ice with small talk, that will make both of you feel more comfortable before talking about anything romantic.

This is how friendships start and this is how relationships should start.

 

[TX-Beau]

Email is a good idea I suppose. One of the things I hate about the computer age, is the remove from reality we all have to deal with. When a guy can control every scrap of information you get about him, lots can be hidden.

I don't meet people from the internet anymore, not because there aren't some nice guys out there, because there are some stone cold freaks out there - and you can't always tell who's who. I prefer to meet guys at a nice neutral location. It's harder to hide your freak in person.

That said, email I would say is better than cell number. Then you can meet up somewhere to hang out, and see what you can see.

Giving him your number in any event isn't desperate, giving him your number then waiting with baited breath every minute of the day is desperate, blasting his inbox with mail is desperate, texting every five minutes is desperate, you get the picture.

 

[Shadowplay]

He lives a few hours away from you. You don't see yourself being in a relationship with him due to the long distance.

Use email as your communication for now. Until you know him better via email. Don't give out your phone number until you have met him in person to make sure he's not a serial killer.

The more I think about it, email sounds like a great idea. Thank you.

Do you have free time and reason that you could actually drive to his area? If so, you could make a comment that you will be in his area on a certain date and would like to meet him for coffee or lunch. If he accepts your suggestion and you meet, then you will have a much better idea about giving out your number. This would not seem desperate or out of the ordinary but shows that you have an interest in becoming friends. In the mean time, as Hunter suggests, use email for you communications. Good luck and let us know how is goes.

Craiger

If my interest in him is reciprocated, I would not at all mind visiting him. He lives in NYC and I'm not opposed to visiting him as I enjoy being in the city anyway. If we come to the point that I can propose meeting each other, I wouldn't mind the drive to see him.

 

[Shadowplay]

You can use a google voice number or do skype voice calls if you are worried about not giving out your information. But this depends on if he is really into you and feel comfortable talking on the phone in the first place.

If he's interested and comfortable, I would consider doing Skype calls.

You could start communicating with him with the words you used above. "I'm not very experienced. I don't want to be off putting, but I'm interested in getting to know you."

I thought of that briefly, but I scared myself of being too straight forward and sounding inept. I'm placing more judgement on myself than anyone else could.

 

[Shadowplay]

Break the ice with small talk, that will make both of you feel more comfortable before talking about anything romantic.

This is how friendships start and this is how relationships should start.

Okay, I'm making conversation and it seems to be okay, even if he may just be humoring me.

 

[Shadowplay]

Email is a good idea I suppose. One of the things I hate about the computer age, is the remove from reality we all have to deal with. When a guy can control every scrap of information you get about him, lots can be hidden.

I don't meet people from the internet anymore, not because there aren't some nice guys out there, because there are some stone cold freaks out there - and you can't always tell who's who. I prefer to meet guys at a nice neutral location. It's harder to hide your freak in person.

That said, email I would say is better than cell number. Then you can meet up somewhere to hang out, and see what you can see.

Giving him your number in any event isn't desperate, giving him your number then waiting with baited breath every minute of the day is desperate, blasting his inbox with mail is desperate, texting every five minutes is desperate, you get the picture.

Absolutely, he has a life and I have one too. It makes no sense to constantly worry. Giving him my number just made me feel like it could open up communication with him some. Also, it's easy for me to flirt in text messages lol. Hopefully, I do have the opportunity to meet him. I would like to get a better understanding of him beyond a computer screen and him of me as well.