any girl that wants to talk to me just wants to get in my pants
Congratulations!
and I of course shove her away.
I've never had sex with a guy and I doubt I ever will
That sounds so asexual!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/26/among-the-asexuals
http://www.asexuality.org
I had nothing but creepy old men message me and the young ones I thought seemed cool ended up just wanting to hook up.
On a rainy day you should study some propositional logic. And why don't YOU take the initiative?
I still cringe at the thought of something going in my ass.
You are not an ignorant homophobic troll? :-> There is no need to bottom if you prefer topping. The gay world is full of hungry bottoms waiting for your conversion to homosexuality.
I don't consider myself attractive (I'm pretty much skin and bones)
Does anyone really find skinny guys attractive?
Very attractive! Do you prefer the workhorse look? The market will decide whether you are attractive or not.
Call me old fashioned but I was raised a southern gentleman, where people don't run around trying to get into each others pants.
Don't confuse norms with the facts on the ground – even in Texas people do what they want. Perhaps you played too much tennis and forgot to think about the world around you? About sense and nonsense of the 'Texan values'? The more you grow up the less you can blame your upbringing for your antiquated views.
Which goes against everything I was brought up with, but I sorta wanna get it out of my system to see if that's what I really want or not.
You should update your system instead of leaving it and finally become the master of YOUR OWN SYSTEM, not the slave of a 'Texan system'. You need some curative brainwashing.
Btw that fetish is a bit gnarly so I'll save the details on it and just say its odd.
I see couples and I get jealous and down on myself because quite frankly I don't know what my mind wants.
I have a feeling that it is difficult for you to talk about your secret desires, about your emotional life, about your experience with women in the detailed way that is necessary. If you can't talk here, in an anonymous forum, about your fetish, where do you want to do it?
When you play tennis, what do you think about the bodies of your partners? What happens in your daydreams on the tennis court? How did you enjoy sex with your girlfriends, what type of girlfriend do you admire, and what type of man? What kind of relationship are you looking for?
You must learn to talk about your inner life in encyclopedic detail. It can be really difficult in the beginning. Coming out groups are there for a reason, some desperately need them.
I can't dare go to any groups on campus because of the fact that it would get back to the team.
Okay, there are more ways of killing a dog than by hanging. Homosexuality isn't rocket science, but it seems that you need an old hand who has a straight talk with you and who supervises your first steps in the gay world. No skiving!
You desperately want to try men, and you suffer from your 'Texan' horror of homosexuality at the same time. You are the excited parachutist who is afraid of his parachute because it is pink.
But the thing I don't know what I am. I wanna say bi but honestly I just don't know, the entire process is confusing.
No point in trying if you don't even know what to classify yourself at the moment. I'm thinking I'm bi but I'm still not 100%.
Would I consider myself bi or straight?
Straight? You are a bi-curious tennis player! You are afraid of homosexuality. You are afraid of being called 'gay'. You should experiment with that word until you realize that it doesn't bite you.
You should write a 1000 word essay about your homosexual desire in general. A 1000 words essay about the male bodies that you worship. A 3000 word essay about all the cruses you ever had. If you are still interested in women you should write a 1000 word essay about your heterosexual desire. And so on.
But it doesn't matter what you 'are', you simply should not be afraid of this harmless word in this harmless sentence: “I am gay and I love it!”, or something like that. Perhaps you must study a bit to find out why this word has so much power over you in your little 'Texan world'.
No matter whether people will call you gay or bisexual in the future, there is no doubt that you are definitely interested in homosexuality.
H O M O S E X U A L I T Y !
Shocking, isn't it?
Don't waste your time brooding about your sexual identity. Instead you should realize your dreams. With men, women, whatever. With more practical experience you will even be able to answer the boring question whether you are straight, gay or bisexual.
But even if you call yourself bisexual you go to gay bars, gay saunas, watch gay porn and read gay books. And go to straight bars, straight saunas, watch straight porn and read straight books.
If you want to call yourself bisexual in the future you should accept that you belong to both worlds, and one of them is called 'gay'. Chances are that you will leave the possessive women behind you to feast on the leaner male bodies. Insofar your sexual preference can be your decision. After which your bisexuality will be of the purely theoretical kind.
I continually get more depressed with the passing days.
If your suppressed homosexual desire is the cause of your depression then all you need is MALE LOVE.
Take it easy, take your pink parachute and jump!
Just don't make yourself an easy target. While not all, and not even most gay guys are predators, some undeniably are. Don't let yourself be used just so you keep someone close.