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Advise what to do?

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Hi there,

I´m living with my older boyfriend for some years and we are very happy, but last week something happended.

We have invited a couple (man and woman) we just met before at our house. We met the woman before but not her husband, and he was so good looking.
He is 50 years old, grey hair, smart brown eyes , warm and intelligent and tall, which i find very attractive (let´s call him Mike). He has had many relationships with girls and women, and is now married for 9 years.

We met eachother and we just clicked...we had a lot to talk while my boyfriend was talking to his wife. After some hours we went to a restaurant and I sat next to him and have a good time. Then the woman made some pictures of us together, and Mike put his head on my shoulders. It took about some time the pictures were made, and his head stays on my shoulders for 3 minutes. Then he said to his wife: hurry up, otherwise I am falling in love.
We talked about his sexlife with his wife and how to come to an emotional orgasm...
Rest of the time after dinner he has his arm on my chair behind me and i felt his warm hand on my back.
When we left the restaurant Mike asked me to put his scarf on his neck, so I did and I told him he looked perfect and handsome.
On our way back to their car we stopped in a park, when his wife and my boyfriend were like 25 meters behind us, and he looked me right in the eye, and said with his warm voice: You´re a very honest and sweet man, and I feel so good at the moment... I had the idea that he was planning to kiss me, but he didn´t. Could be because his wife was almost with us.
When we stopped at his car, we hugged intensively and said eachther goodbye.

The next day my boyfriend met the man again and he said to me: Oh, Mike thinks you are very sweet, realy fun and attractive, but he mentoined with a grin that is was not in a sexual way.

I do find Mike very attractive and I picked up his ´signs´ that he liked me more than in the normal way. I realy would like to see him again, but on the other hand he´s married and i have a boyfriend too!

Does anyone has some advise what I can do?

Rob
 
Beware of the big wrecking ball that this man can bring into your life.
 
Perhaps you felt a greater attraction for Mike than he honestly felt for you. The message to you through your boyfriend was probably an indicator of that. He wants the situation to be clear and he did it in an open manner (through your boyfriend).

BTW was alcohol involved. Sometimes people have a different perspective when feeling all warm and fuzzy after few glasses of wine.
 
Accept it for what it was - a bit of drunken flirting that made you both feel good at the time. (It's nice when someone you find attractive finds you attractive, too.)

Just because you CAN have sex with someone doesn't mean you HAVE TO have sex with someone.

Don't obsess over him and don't pursue it. You've got a boyfriend, he's got a wife. If those situations change - re-evaluate.
 
Yeah, he sounds like a three beer queer.

Would you and he throw everything you currently have away to run off and live together for the rest of your lives?

If not, then back away. Be friends.
 
I do find Mike very attractive and I picked up his ´signs´ that he liked me more than in the normal way. I realy would like to see him again, but on the other hand he´s married and i have a boyfriend too!

Does anyone has some advise what I can do?


At the end of this story, you have asked a question. My question for you is what is it exactly that are considering doing?
 
Thanks for all advices. In fact, after clear thinking about it, I would not risk my relationship for just a one night stand, but when you feel attracted to someone and feel bothways, it is hard to resist it.

Karabulut: physically I am attracted to Mike and I realy want to see what can happen with us both. But on the other hand rationally I know it is not the best thing I can do. I love my boyfriend and I don´t want to leave him.
 
I´m living with my older boyfriend for some years and we are very happy, but last week something happended.

UMM.......OKAY?

I love my boyfriend and I don´t want to leave him

.........SURE!

 
YEAH........RIGHT..... IF THIS "MIKE" SAID JUMP YOU'D BE ALL OVER HIS DICK!
 
Karabulut: physically I am attracted to Mike and I realy want to see what can happen with us both. But on the other hand rationally I know it is not the best thing I can do. I love my boyfriend and I don´t want to leave him.

Good answer.
 
I think you are in a very normal situation. You were attracted to some one who paid a lot of attention to you. Mike may be a genuinely 'friendly' person who may have made comments that you took too seriously. He probably realized that and gave the 'heads up' to your boyfriend, resulting in what your boyfriend said to you. My advice, enjoy your new friend Mike, but don't take it any further. If you're lucky, you will have made a new friendship that could last the rest of your life. If you act on these comments that you injected more meaning than what was really there, you will probably lose that friend, and possibly lose your boyfriend too.
 
Thanks Karabulut and Capper: wise words....!
¨Super¨gurl: I do ask for advice but i am not asking for a negativ analysis of my text!
Keep that for on the couch, while watching ANTM !
 
Depends on what you wanna do, if your willing to give up everything with your BF and ruin a marriage then go for it. I wouldn't but that's just me.
 
If you love your BF, then don't insitgate anything. Furthermore, make when you do hang out with this couple make sure your BF is always with you. Enjoy the tipsy flirting. But Don't get carried away with your emotions. It can get very complicated if you do, even if nothing is ever advanced between you and this man other than some flirting.
 
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