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Affair with an older man

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12gay12

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I think this is in the right forum.
But I really, really want to have an affair with an older man. Like, an attractive old man who I can just hang out with. You know, have a real relationship with. He would just be older than me, and maybe married.

There's this guy in my town is is so hot, like a total silver fox and I would do anything to have a relationship with him.

So, like that's normal right? Have any of you had an affair with an older man> Wanna share experiences or advice?

Oh, and the guy would have to be married, and he would have to be an adulterer. So it wouldn't be a true "Affair." But when it comes to older men, affair seems like the best word to use. It's just so hot.
 
Yeah, go out and find a man with a wife and 7 or 8 kids and help him commit adultery. Nothing abnormal about that.:rolleyes: The only thing creepier than him would be you.
 
I wasn't intending to be a weirdo, and I don't think I could actually have a relationship with someone who was married. But isn't it totally normal to be attracted to older, attractive men?
 
12gay12 said:
I wasn't intending to be a weirdo, and I don't think I could actually have a relationship with someone who was married. But isn't it totally normal to be attracted to older, attractive men?
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Older guys can have lots of appeal for younger guys, but that is not what you said you wanted. You said it had to be adultury (an affair) with a married man. If you like older guys and are serious about a relationship, find one that is unattached. There may be lots of married guys willing to cheat on their wives and families, but do you really want to help them their deceptions?
 
sixthson said:
Older guys can have lots of appeal for younger guys, but that is not what you said you wanted. You said it had to be adultury (an affair) with a married man. If you like older guys and are serious about a relationship, find one that is unattached. There may be lots of married guys willing to cheat on their wives and families, but do you really want to help them their deceptions?
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I would!! i think married guys are so hot!! if they wanna cheat they will cheat anyway, might as well be me..
 
Oh no! I see where the problem is, I typed would instead of wouldn't.

So it should have read: "Oh, and the guy wouldn't have to be married, and he wouldn't have to be an adulterer. "

I see now why it was such an issue.

No, I want an actual relationship with someone who is a bit older. He doesn't have to be married, but kind of like the married type, if you know what I mean.
 
But you wrote an affair with an older man which means you guys aren't planning to be in a relationship long. I think maybe the word you should of used was Relationship with an older man. Cause if you two were in an affair it would be very short relationship since that's what an affair is.

A romantic or passionate attachment typically of limited duration
 
I guess you are correct, I was using the word affair incorrectly.

I simply put it because "Affair with and older type man" sounds hotter than "a relationship with and older man" i suppose.

I've really dug myself a hole here...

:help:
 
12gay12 said:
I guess you are correct, I was using the word affair incorrectly.

I simply put it because "Affair with and older type man" sounds hotter than "a relationship with and older man" i suppose.

I've really dug myself a hole here...

:help:
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It probably seems hot because it sounds naughty and hot like the people that have affairs in movies. But in real life it usually ruins marriages and possibly other relationships that the older man might be in if it being straight or gay.
 
It is indeed possible. I think I know what you mean; you want a man that's the closest embodiment of a "straight" guy without actually being straight...essentially you want my boyfriend ;)

He's divorced, he's a silverfox, fit, masculine, intelligent, in his 50's, gentle, caring...

...and I'm 21 (!)

Before I met him I thought there was no hope for a young guy like me having a relationship with a silverfox like him. I can assure you there is.

Good luck.
 
It's odd to me, as an "older man" that someone would seek me out because of my age.
Frankly, I'd be assessing his maturity, his core values (if he's developed them at that age). I honestly don't see wanting a a married guy as indicative of having a high standard of ethics, but neither do I think getting one's friend drunk so one can touch him a sign of maturity either, and I've seen a lot of guys on here who think that's perfectly "normal." It's not, and that's not a value judgment: it's a psychological one.
It's like a guy "trying out" a Black guy because he's never been with one and he just wants to "see what it's like" as though another human being is a novelty item. I'd find that attitude pretty screwed up and I'd move away as rapidly as I could, both emotionally AND physically, as in "get me the hell away from this guy."
Of course, my training is in psychology, and guys who like older men usually had an absent -- or disapproving - father. Even if he was in the house, they felt like he didn't have time for them. So, being a substitute is frequently not about me, it's about this person trying to work out his issues with his biological father. In my experience, it's not a foundation for a healthy relationship.
 
mcbrion said:
Of course, my training is in psychology, and guys who like older men usually had an absent -- or disapproving - father. Even if he was in the house, they felt like he didn't have time for them. So, being a substitute is frequently not about me, it's about this person trying to work out his issues with his biological father. In my experience, it's not a foundation for a healthy relationship.
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Not exactly true, my Father was there for me a lot more than my Mother and I talk to him all the time. I'm also in a relationship with an older man and I've been with him for 5 years so when people usually blame the Father issues it's not really true.
 
GamerBear said:
Not exactly true, my Father was there for me a lot more than my Mother and I talk to him all the time. I'm also in a relationship with an older man and I've been with him for 5 years so when people usually blame the Father issues it's not really true.
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Same here. Have always been attracted to older guys as long as I can remember. Always was fairly close with my father and am to this day. Was never attracted to him but was to several of his friends. The idea of having sex with my dad is a big turn off.

Also when dating older guys, the ones that tried to play a "fatherly" role were a turn off and it got old fast. I want to be cared for as anyone would in a relationship, but not guided or told what to do. Have been in a relationship with a guy for 7 years now. He's got 23 years on me and we get on great.
 
AlmondMilk said:
The problem with a relationship with a married guy is if he's willing to cheat on his wife...he's willing to "cheat" on you, too.
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cheating is so over rated!! when you are hungry u grab a sandwich, when you are horney you should be able to grab a piece ass.. as long as you are with the person emotionally and in every day life.. what is the harm in little ass on the side?
 
I find married daddies to be the worst. They don't know how to treat me decently. I find them to be too needy and not considerate of what I need. Also the whole being in the closet thing isn't that much fun either
 
FeedMeDaddies said:
I find married daddies to be the worst. They don't know how to treat me decently. I find them to be too needy and not considerate of what I need. Also the whole being in the closet thing isn't that much fun either
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not all stories end up like that, i had an affair with a married man and things turned out alright. admittedly there was a few things out of the ordinary like his wife knew about him sleeping with other men and the fact that she was also going with a guy. and his kids new he was gay as well.

we did agree that if either one wanted to back off then that was fine, but things atm are a little less complicated, they are sorting their divorce out and moved out and me and him are now in a relationship.

hes a bit of a player and to be honest but then so am i but we agreed that we liked each other to try for a relationship so i think both of us are taking it as it comes. but i have to say its rather nice having someone that nice.

i agree that if hes willing to cheat he could cheat on you to or what not but then am on the same boat. though i don't think i could cheat on anyone else ever again because of my past relationships. if ya fall out of love just say so etc or want a open relationship say so, otherwise there isn't much point in going behind the persons back.
 
Neo-Maroc said:
cheating is so over rated!! when you are hungry u grab a sandwich, when you are horney you should be able to grab a piece ass.. as long as you are with the person emotionally and in every day life.. what is the harm in little ass on the side?
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That's perfectly fine if that's what you've signed up for - but if you thought you were in a monogamous relationship, then it stinks.
 
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