Hello. This is only my second post, but I need help. I'm 28 but still a virgin because no matter what body type I have I'm told I'm too nice. What do I do about his? I don't even understand what too nice means. I'm also afraid to try dating because of some past bad experiences. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Afraid to date
- Thread starter Tyrdron
- Start date
Harke the Boeotarch
Dreams Wash Away
Just keep on [STRIKE]truckin'[/STRIKE] datin'...
tarallucci
e acqua
Hello and welcome.
Maybe they mean that you are too naive? Apparently it's just a way to turn you down. But it's strange because no matter what body type you have, it is very easy to date and lose virginity today.
Do you think you're doing well socially? Do you retain yourself good-looking?
Honestly, I'm also suffering from depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks and it makes it hard to get people to be around you. And I feel I'm fairly good looking, when I get ready to go out. Otherwise I just look comfortable. 
Harke the Boeotarch
Dreams Wash Away
Honestly, I'm also suffering from depression and anxiety. I have panic attacks and it makes it hard to get people to be around you. And I feel I'm fairly good looking, when I get ready to go out. Otherwise I just look comfortable.
Try it anyway.
mcbrion
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If he's having panic attacks, that suggestion isn't going to happen.
What's your worst fear in this scenario? And what do you mean by, "bad experiences?" If you have panic attacks, that, in itself, could make a guy frustrated with you and then turn into a not-so-nice guy, especially if he thought you liked - and desired - him.
Please elaborate on the experiences. Did YOU cause them to be bad because you panicked? Were they even as bad as you thought? Sometimes, your own demons create a reality not shared by the other person, and breaking down someone's walls is tiring.
Have you considered therapy? It would certainly help you understand why this is such a fear-filled experience for you. It sounds like you got some pretty poor messages growing up about self-worth.
jaysizzles
burn baby burn
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I'm not sure why someone would say you are "too nice", but if you are a doormat, too agreeable, and not speaking up about how you really feel or think, then perhaps that's why. Idk.
There was a time when I suffered from anxiety and was afraid to do things, but finally figured out that if I didn't take the chance, I was going to miss out on the experience, or at least the chance at the experience. Can't handle it all at once...take baby steps. Push yourself a bit further each time...take note that it didn't kill you, you survived it, you learned and grew from it, etc. Know that there are times you're going to be rejected, accept it, move on to the next. That rejection didn't kill you.
Regarding the anxiety, I spoke with my GP about what I was feeling, and he prescribed meds for me (xanax in my case). It helped...took the edge off. That, and slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I eventually went off the pills, built up my confidence, and really now there's little I won't do that I want to.
Remember, you've got one shot at this life, and the longer you wait to start living it...the more you're going to miss out on. Don't live with regrets!
There was a time when I suffered from anxiety and was afraid to do things, but finally figured out that if I didn't take the chance, I was going to miss out on the experience, or at least the chance at the experience. Can't handle it all at once...take baby steps. Push yourself a bit further each time...take note that it didn't kill you, you survived it, you learned and grew from it, etc. Know that there are times you're going to be rejected, accept it, move on to the next. That rejection didn't kill you.
Regarding the anxiety, I spoke with my GP about what I was feeling, and he prescribed meds for me (xanax in my case). It helped...took the edge off. That, and slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I eventually went off the pills, built up my confidence, and really now there's little I won't do that I want to.
Remember, you've got one shot at this life, and the longer you wait to start living it...the more you're going to miss out on. Don't live with regrets!