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Afraid

Luka

Luka

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O.k. I'm probably gonna sound pathetic but here it goes.

I'm really not afraid of anything, except, telling my parents I'm Gay. It kinda sux because I think I'm getting depressed from keeping it all bottled up inside. The only person who knows is my best friend. I've been keeping the secret since I figured out I was gay in 6th grade. I'm 20 now, so thats a really long time. I just don't want them to hate me. Plus I still live at home so it would be extremely awkward. Any thoughts on what I should do... I know it would be more fair to tell them, but........
 
Take your time and do it when you're good and ready

I think it might be better to "drop the bomb" after you've moved out of your parent's home. Things will most likely be awkward when you first break the news and they will need time and space - just as you did when you were figuring things out

Based on experience, your parents have probably already figured it out and are waiting for you to bring it up. Again, not until you're ready. You need to be prepared for their reactions - good or bad

I wish you the best of luck. Keep us informed
 
What's your longterm outlook? Any possibilities of moving out anytime soon?

Lex
 
I am pretty much in the same situation as you. I think the best thing to do is wait until you are ready so that the consequences of it will not disrupt your life in an extremely unpleasant way. I agree keeping it bottled up is hard, but try getting your emotions out through other outlets until you can finally tell your folks. Its worked for me so far.
 
Brian_1 said:
Take your time and do it when you're good and ready

I think it might be better to "drop the bomb" after you've moved out of your parent's home. Things will most likely be awkward when you first break the news and they will need time and space - just as you did when you were figuring things out

Based on experience, your parents have probably already figured it out and are waiting for you to bring it up. Again, not until you're ready. You need to be prepared for their reactions - good or bad

I wish you the best of luck. Keep us informed
Click to expand...

I agree.I wouldn't rush into it.At least you have a good friend to vent to,many aren't that lucky.I hope that things work out well for you.Remember your not alone.Good luck...|
 
When you feel the time is right to inform your parents that you are gay, be sure to tell them you are the same person today that you were yesterday and the day before that, etc.

They should realize if they really loved you yesterday, that love should still exsist after you have told them.

Sure, there may be disappointment. To them, they may worry about disease, not having grandchildren. And dads sometimes believe they have failed as a manly figure in your life. You can assure them that no one has failed in your upbringing -- it's just the way you are.

Good luck to you and any others facing this problem.
 
"Coming out" is a very personal decision, not a mandate. You come out when YOU are ready, not when others tell you that you HAVE to do so. Even as far as your parents are concerned. Just be yourself. In my case, I never went through that whole "drill" about anguishing over how to tell the parents. I never told them anything. They asked ME!!!!! After awhile, when they saw that I was not "dating women" and had a string of "male roommates" and always in the company of men, it all pretty much spoke for itself. They finally stopped asking when I was going to "find a nice girl and settle down" and popped the question. Then it was easy. When parents ask you something, they already know the answer. My answer to them was "YES" and their response was "We thought so". And believe me, my parents are FAR from liberal-progessive parents. VERY ultra-conservative. It has not changed our relationship. No, they do not accept this lifestyle but they love me and I am still their son, no matter what. They have always been respectful and caring towards my partners and that's the best I can hope for. Basically, they have been wonderful about the whole thing. I know they have disappointments and I try to compensate for that in many other ways. Sure, they wish I was not gay but they accept it on their own terms and that's fine with me.

Don't underestimate your parents. They are a lot smarter than you may give them credit. All in good time. Take your time. You will know when the time is right.
 
Thanks everybody, this has made me feel alot better! I think wwaiting till I moe out is a really good plan, thanks again, you guys are the best.
 
I agree with everything that has been said, but keep in mind it is your life and not your parents, or your friends. I waited and waited and still paid dearly for not being who I am regardless of what others thought. It was almost to late for me, but I woke up and none to soon! I am so in love with my BF as he is with me. A situation I thought would never come true....
 
Well one thing that worries me about this whole thing is, have you thought how you would tell them? Other than waiting till you move out, which is great and all, but I don't know if you've really got an idea of how. Sure there's also the "let them see it by your choices" approach but I just didn't think you've thought too much about it when it comes. I would hate to see that you leave and still don't tell them and just put it off more.

Just some unanswered questions for me.
 
Meh.

It's seldom the huge issue to them that it is to us. They usually already know and sense that you're uptight about it. If you don't make a big deal about it, they'll take their cues from you and it won't be a big deal to them, either.

That being said, it's best to always have an excape plan. Even the most liberal parents can be challenged when it's their kid. I know my parents had lots of gay friends but it didnt' help when I came out.

Maybe the first step you should take is moving out on your own or at least being self-sufficient enough should it not be comfortable with you living there?
 
boy0boy said:
Well one thing that worries me about this whole thing is, have you thought how you would tell them? Other than waiting till you move out, which is great and all, but I don't know if you've really got an idea of how. Sure there's also the "let them see it by your choices" approach but I just didn't think you've thought too much about it when it comes. I would hate to see that you leave and still don't tell them and just put it off more.

Just some unanswered questions for me.
Click to expand...

I actually almost told them last year, litterally had the oportunity right in front of me and blew it. My mom asked me if I was Gay a couple months ago too, but I completley denied it. I don't kow how I'm going to yet, a ton of different scenarios have played out in my head.
 
if you plan the scenarios, it's probably not going to happen. Life isn't scripted, MTV reality shows notwithstanding.

If they ask, they already know and are trying to start that conversation.

Hey, at this point you might wanna just start acting like they always knew. Skip the big coming out and go directly for the "I'm dating this guy and I'd like to bring him over for dinner" or words to that effect.
 
you knew there has always been something that I have always wondered about why is it so easy for somebody to come out to a complete stranger it's easy to do that but when it comes down to coming out to your parents or someone in your family that are suppose to love you it's so much harder and there is a universal fear of that it always seemed like it would be easer to tell people who knew you then someone who don't I came out as being gay to everyone when I was 17



am 20 now and I was like fuck it fuck it all and I told my whole family I even told people to spread the word I did not care if they love me then they will show support if they don't then they can go die in a creek for all I care and what am trying to say Luka sweetie is that you have to be strong and brave and when you see that the time is right come out and it's your loved ones and so they should have no problem with it and am sure then already suspect it anyways:-)

good luck baby(*8*)
 
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