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After 5 years, it's over. So.................

bluedragon4

bluedragon4

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why am I not upset? Nothing bad happened but we just turned into platonic friends somewhere a long the way. We had been living together for at least 3 years and broke up 3 weeks ago and he's already in a new apartment. We both have already gone on dates and seem settled in our new lives. i had sex with someone on New years eve and was the 1st guy,other than ex, that I had been with in many years. My ex didn't cross my mind once. I don't think of him when I hear sad songs, or when I go shopping at the stores we went to, or when I see some of his stuff that is still here. Is that odd? I am already ready to get out there and have been chatting and meeting guys from online.( Not for sex though. That New years eve thing was a fluke. I don't sleep around. )I didn't think it was odd till my mother made several comments on how I "didn't let any grass grow under my feet" and that I didn't waste anytime getting him out including packing him up. Is this odd? I am sad about our dog though. I loved that dog! I am sadder over that! lol.
 
Sounds to me like the time was right for you both to move on. And how much better than a traumatic split that's filled with bitterness and regret.

Good luck to you!
 
It's not odd - it's ideal. It's good that you both realized that the relationship had run its course, and you were able to move apart and start living separate lives without heartache, trauma or drama. Best of luck to both of you. :)

Lex
 
sounds like you guys grew apart, and both were able to see it and move on. why should you feel bad about it?
 
Obviously because there was no love there.
 
It doesn't sound odd at all - it sounds perfectly natural and adult...but your concerns about how you think you're supposed to feel suggest you've internalised the romantic mythology of popular culture - or watched too many sopa operas. Romance has nothing to do with reality - that's what makes it romance. Love and romance are not the same thing. What could be more sensible and authentic than making the outward expression of your way of being in the world consistent with your inner reality.
 
Three years is about the time relationships become "too comfortable" and partners slowly move apart.

I've been told by knowledgeable friends that this parallels the growth of a baby -- three years is when they start becoming more independent. Not sure what that means: not all relationships fall apart in three years (but I have noticed it seems to be a milestone in relationships I've observed from afar).

Move on, like you are doing. As others pointed out, well, look at Ms. Spears and Kevin! You are doing ok, relatively.
 
Congratulations, bluedragon4, for having an ideal ending to a relationship!

Well, ideal would have been with you getting the dog, but hey, it's close to ideal. ;)
 
Bluedragon,
I'm so happy to hear that you have taken the mature, more realistic approach to the situation. It sounds to me like you have a hold on your emotions and that is so cool. I wish I could be less emotional/sentimental sometimes. Enjoy your new found freedom stud!
 
It's not odd at all. You are over him, so his absence is not sad and things you did together don't seem nostalgic.

Good for you. You're moving on--in a healthy way.

All the best. Will the NY eve guy turn into something serious?
 
Its too bad it ended but how refreshing to hear you're both moving on without bitterness. I wish it could be that way for more couples
 
averageguy said:
It's not odd at all. You are over him, so his absence is not sad and things you did together don't seem nostalgic.

Good for you. You're moving on--in a healthy way.

All the best. Will the NY eve guy turn into something serious?
Click to expand...

No, he is visiting friends from Atlanta. He just happened to be staying in my apartment complex. I saw him twice after but more to meet the gay neighbors I never knew I had. I have been trying to make friends with couples since sex won't be an issue.
I went to help my ex drop off more stuff last night but I did it so I could see the dog. He seemed happy. He has a yard now to run in but kept getting in our cars. He looked a little home sick or confused. But the neighbor has a puppy so the two play since they share the same yard. My ex is renting a studio behind a house. I will be watching the dog next week while my ex is in Cleveland. I love how my ex arranged travel times on the times he knows I am free so I can take him to the airport.lol.
We even had a nice dinner yesterday and talked about meeting guys. Guess he had his first kiss with someone else. I am happy for him. I have been getting out there but I am so busy working I just don't have time to be serious right now. I still can't believe the dog being gone bothers me more than my ex. My ex forced the dog on me and I never liked dogs. I am sad when I come home and he isn't there to greet me or sleep next to me. It's funny that I haven't missed my ex that way.lol. That has to be a bit odd.
 
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