After months of being out to friends, I finally told my mother!

[mc7777]

Well after months of being out to friends, whom all been amazing, I decided today that the time was right to tell my mom. I didn't plan on today I just knew that the time was right. I weighed all my personal circumstances and the potential outcomes.

I told her I needed to talk to her and we went into her room and closed the door. Not sure how to say it and quite frankly nervous as hell, I just put my hands over my face and said, "I'm gay.." She said, "did you say you were gay." "Yeah mom I am..." Having played out multiple reactions she could have and things she might say, she said the one I hadn't thought of!!! ...

"I know you. I mean I knew now for a while. I made up my mind 3 years ago..." I was floored and glad she reacted that way! .... "I was waiting on you to say something and worried if I came to you, you would reject me. I had my clues that I just followed and put together. I heard you crying one night a long time ago. I started noticing you hiding other things. That and and just didn't date any women! Its ok, I am completely fine with it, and nobody needs to know unless you want them to know....." Then she said, "for fuck sake I am your mother, you honestly think I don't know how you operate!?"

She didn't have any questions really but I told her if after a bit she thought of any to ask away. She said it was none of her business and probably wouldn't ask. I told her to ask as it helps me to discuss it. I showed her a couple of pics of boyfriends/ flings I had and she and said she didn't know I did that, but good job on that one guy... (LOL!)

I can't tell you all how great I finally feel. I am 26 (came out to friends at age 25, see my other posts) and it feels like I can finally breathe. I can own this now more than ever and be self validated at the acceptance of my mom, who I thought I would never be able tell. I sit here thinking how now with the parental acceptance and backing the sky is the limit for me. The fact that she actually knew, respected me enough to come to her, and was cool now as she was throughout her conclusion, says a lot. I feared being treated different, when I was treated the same the entire time.

Its funny as I sit here my mind is so clear and inactive. I literally have nothing on my mind other than wanting to complete this post. I got things to do right now, but don't care. I feel like though I shouldn't take my victory here lightly. I realize how lucky I am to have this reaction and acceptance. I see the importance of committing to the righteous cause of being myself and helping the gay cause as much as I can.

MC7777

 

[mooncake]

Bravo.

Thank you for sharing your experience. So glad it turn out well for you. You have such a cool mother .

 

[Seasoned]

I'm happy for you and happy for your mom. It's nice to transition to an adult relationship with a parent and wonderful to have fear removed.

 

[Ganoderma]

Congratulated with this step, thanks for telling us and nice to hear your mother supports you. Its really good you don't need to hide/ly anymore to your mother about a very important part of your life.

 

[anchihiro]

Well done, i'm sure it's taken a load off.

 

[mc7777]

Thank you all for your comments. Its been a few days now and I can't tell you the relief I feel. A huge stress burden is gone and my life is now open to endless possibilities! It was funny today as normally I wouldn't share where I am going or what I am doing. As I was leaving I said, I am going to xx and his name is xx. She looked at me, smiled, and simply said, "have fun. See you later."

Granted I had the ideal reaction, I still feel its important for all coming out to their parents to carefully weigh their individually unique circumstances. Be armed with info that a family member may ask or accuse. The big one for my situation was I was worried as my mother is very religious. So I of course I studied all those passages, actual explanations, and proper interpretation. Perhaps slight overkill, but as the old saying goes, "knowledge is power." Be prepared when given the opportunity to be smart enough to effectively communicate.

 

[Seasoned]

I'm glad your mom is a parent first. And I'm sad at the same time that we all live in heterosexist societies where there can be such a tremendous burden being in the closet. It's too bad that being gay can't just be taken as the other normal which is what it is.

I'm thankful you kept us posted on your "before" and "after" as it tells the story of a clear mind and what that means in terms of potential for growth. With fear gone there's space in that brain for all kinds of thought and mental energy. Thank you for sharing.

 

[mc7777]

I'm glad your mom is a parent first. And I'm sad at the same time that we all live in heterosexist societies where there can be such a tremendous burden being in the closet. It's too bad that being gay can't just be taken as the other normal which is what it is.


I'm thankful you kept us posted on your "before" and "after" as it tells the story of a clear mind and what that means in terms of potential for growth. With fear gone there's space in that brain for all kinds of thought and mental energy. Thank you for sharing.

I am so glad she was a parent first. The next day I sent her an email with links to the American Psychological Assoc. with the complete explanations of LGBT individuals. When I asked her if she read it, she said, "yeah I read all of it. But I don't care what some expert, religious person, or joe blow says. You have my 100% backing. Please stop worrying about what I think or am wondering." I found myself again disarmed at her response.

I really wanted to present my before and afters. I feel this is the whole point of this forum. I would almost hate for someone to follow my posts, find the discussions helpful, but wonder how it all turned out. I feel by completing posts, we can put out there information and enlightened individuals, that will assimilate, and society can take note, understand, and perhaps lead to total acceptance.

You are welcome for my sharing and I thank you for your comments. I actually await and seek out your posts with the same anticipation as a crowd member of a baseball game, when the home run king steps up to the plate, knowing that the ball will be hit effortlessly out of the park again. It is my hope that you experience gratitude, redemption, and closure for your efforts of discussion involvement and guidance.

 

[unloadonme]

What a great mother. You lucky boy!

 

[chace1617]

i am so happy for you, you are so lucky to have such an amazing open minded mother who respects you and you are so brave. i wish i could feel i can breath like you but i am just not ready yet. thank you for sharing your story and filling us with hope!

 

[mc7777]

i am so happy for you, you are so lucky to have such an amazing open minded mother who respects you and you are so brave. i wish i could feel i can breath like you but i am just not ready yet. thank you for sharing your story and filling us with hope!

Thank you for your kind words! Your "ready time," will come. You will know when is right for you.

I am honored my story has provided you with some assurance of hope. Keep hope and thinking forward as that is half the battle to reach the time when you are ready to say something.