Age Difference

[smoothwood]

Hi guys, I just wanted some thoughts about large age differences between two people in a relationship. Do you think there is a limit? Or does it not matter as long as they are in love with each other? Specifically, about 17 years, 20 and 37. What do you guys think?

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

No, there's no limit. If two people are in love then that's what matters. Will be people find it weird? Maybe, but as long as you're comfortable then fuck the haterz.

My only concern comes when it's below 18 (or 16, depending on the state), but this does not seem to be the case here.

 

[Seasoned]

Since we can't predict our future I think it's best to go with the flow one day at a time. If this should turn into a ltr you'll have plenty of years before old age sets in.

Comparability and satisfaction with where one is at could make this ok. Is the 20 year old ok settling down without more experience? The key to any ltr is staying connected while developing and growing, but that can be tough even without an age difference.

 

[Rolyo85]

I'd say that the age difference wouldn't matter between 30 and 47, or 25 and 42. However, are you certain you are mature enough, and know enough about relationships and yourself in them to be with someone so much older than you?

Some other questions:

1. Are you out?
2. Have you had relationships before?
3. If so, what was the age difference there?
4. What is your sexual experience?
5. Is HE out?
6. Is he single?

Every situation has its own particular rules, and to figure out what advice to give you, it would be good to know these things.

 

[Orlandude]

Despite all the age bias in gay life, I do think it's all about the two people in the relationship and where their heads are. I know couples with pretty vast age disparities and they've been together for years, while others fell apart. If you love someone, age is only a number although some would argue that you're each in different stages of life that are incompatible. I tend to disagree unless the age disparity is really huge. For example, while I enjoy the elder gays, I wouldn't be interested in a partner who is old enough to be my grandfather. Friends yes. Partners no. I think a good, basic rule of thumb is 10-15 years older or younger than you are, unless you're really young and, of course, 18+

 

[HunterM]

Age in itself might not matter. Core values have to be similar for a lasting relationship. There are people in the same age range who do not get along at all because their core values are very different.

A younger person's goals and dreams may not be the same as an older person's goals and dreams because they both are in different stages in life...which may create conflicts in a relationship. This can be mitigated if they address it and pledge to respect and support each other.

For any relationship to last (family, friends, business or personal), trust AND respect must coexist. You cannot have one without the other.

 

[Brtyui]

There is all kind of things that revolve around age limit particularly when it comes to relationships. For example what your peers, family and everyone else thinks as well. But for any relationship to at least have a go at being successful you need a certain amount of trust and respect for each other, as well understanding where each other life are in perspective of your own goals.

I speak from experience from this as my current relationship is an age difference of 26 years. I do think that if you are in love it shouldn't matter but u do need some level of support, either from family or friends. However family support or knowledge of support from your friends are always good when having this type of relationship, however if you are in love then its entirely up to the people in question about how they deal with their feelings for each other.

I love my boyfriend very much and we both knew that age difference is always going to be there and their stereotypical views on it, but we love each other a lot so we owed it to ourselves to see if this would really work. I mean if there is a chance you find someone that's perfect for you shouldn't you at least try?

i hope this helps

 

[asianstudlover]

it's all about the people involved.

personally, as a 30 year-old, I couldn't imagine dating someone who was 20... I remember who I was when I was that age and (broadly generalizing) I don't think most 20 year-olds are ready for a serious, monogamous relationship. plus, that's a time when most people's lives are widely in flux -- a 20 year-old may still be in college, trying to figure out what they want their career to be, where they want to live, etc.

but that's just me. I'm sure there are loads of people who feel differently and it's all about the people involved and what they want out of the relationship.

I agree. lol. Why is it that as we get older, I look at 3 years younger than me and say: really? could i date that age? I REMEMBER THAT AGE!

 

[Dastarr]

I'm fairly rigid with mine, (im 24 at the end of the month) atm ideally its about 19-27, but you never know, I might meet someone compatible slightly outside that bracket.

Whatever works for you, but yeah I agree with thinking it through at least a little bit for all the reasons stated above, but not particularly because of what others will think though. at the end of the day you have to do it for yourself.