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Age gap an issue?

A

altlover85

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I agree, it's not a huge gap. With that said, keep the communication open and see where things go.

Good luck!
 
Keep communicating. If it seems right, it is right.
 
it's only a problem if you allow it to be. The same as me & my partner & we have no problems Ps. not the same age but the same difference..
 
Try a 43 year age gap.

Look, consider it this way. When you are 35, he will be 43. When you are 70, he will be 78. Do you see the proportional age gap narrowing as you both age? Don't be intimidated by an age difference.
 
I think it's a more a matter of the two of you being in a similar mindset of what you are looking for in a relationship, your maturity levels, and having things in common, than the actual age gap itself. A 19 year old may still be in that stage of life where they want to play the field, establish a career, continue with education....maybe party more or socialize late at night with friends, etc. If that's what he's looking for and you're already past that phase...looking to be more settled, having to be in early due to work the next day, etc., then there could be issues. If you are each in a similar place, then it's easier to mesh. I do think that many 19 yr old guys still have some growing up to do and may not yet fully know what they're looking for not only in a relationship, but in life in general as well. A few more years may make a difference.

All this said, it's really a matter now for each of you to communicate your expectations for this relationship...casual dating, serious minded, just sex, etc. Personally, I'd keep it casual and not try to think long term, for the time being anyway.
 
not gonna lie, i think the gap is pretty big, and may be a problem. but i would still try, if it feels right. better try and fail than give up from the start, right? my best friend is in her early 30es and dating a guy in his early 20es, and theyre doing fine. good luck!
 
The problem is not the gap but where it's located. 8 years is trivial when it's between 27 and 35, but 19-27 is a matter of completely different worlds. You are a grown up, he's a kid. People change drastically in the 18-24 period, and unless you just wand some friendly pokage, I'd recommend against trying to get serious with a 19 year old.
 
^ yeah, thats what i meant actually. he said it more clearly.

edit: uh wait... the first part of rolyos post is what i meant. the second part differs somewhat.
 
I'm 20 (21 in May) and my boyfriend turned 30 in November. We are both on the same maturity level and it works, very well actually. I was initially concerned what people would think but I got over it quickly. Good luck!
 
Age is just a number when you factor in individual variation and maturity. If you two can hit it off well, and can find many similar interests, then it shouldn't be a problem. It is for some, but it may not be for you. Why not give it a try?
 
You're not too old....He's just TOO YOUNG!

If he were over 21, then I would approve, but being 19 is off limits...
Technically, you're fooling around with a teenager.
 
If your happy and he's happy then there isn't an issue. It's your life and only you can live it. If it hasn't been an issue so far why make it one now? Is this going to be a life long relationship?, maybe, maybe not. However, if he were closer to you in age would it be a lasting relationship? maybe, maybe not. For now I say leave the age issue alone and be happy.

Steven.
 
dereperez said:
Age is just a number when you factor in individual variation and maturity. If you two can hit it off well, and can find many similar interests, then it shouldn't be a problem. It is for some, but it may not be for you. Why not give it a try?
Click to expand...

I agree completely. If you are of the same mindset and maturity then there shouldn't be any problems.

Just remember that kids are hitting puberty younger and younger these days, and unless he's been wrapped in cotton wool for the last 19 years would know that it's a harsh world out there.

But if you're concerned about it, give it a go but still live your own life (like don't move in together or get stuck into a financial or legal commitment together). You might just find that the two of you click really well, and if not, at least you gave it a go.

/My Two Cents
 
You´ll be asking yourself ¨what if¨ if you want to give it a try but won´t do it. What´s the worse that can happen, not work? This sad stuff happens always, age gap or not. My bf is more than twice my age (he´s 48, i´m 23) and no problem here, we even started living together last year. Cheers!
 
Hi guys
I have the same problem!
I dated a few guys who were younger than me (I am 28 and they were 20~24), and in all cases I was really anxious and shy.
Whenever we went out (to a cinema, coffee shop, restaurant, shopping center), all people looked at us crazily and we felt it. This was the main reason that we couldnt go further :((
Now, I've been messaging a guy who is 21 and we are gonna meet soon, but I am scared of this happens again.
Any advice?!
I have been thinking which other places we can go that less exposed to a lot of people looks?!
 
Yeah, I pretty much am absolutely certain that it's all in your head. 20-28 isn't nearly enough of a difference for anyone to be looking at you AT ALL. I am 27, and since I am in school, I have 19-year old friends I hang out with one on one in the city, and NOBODY has EVER paid any attention to us. You're imagining it because of insecurity.
 
I'm 27, and have usually dated guys in their early 50s. Neither of us have ever felt that we were getting funny looks, except this one time where this dude thought I was an exchange student he was taking around, and just yelled out "Where is he from?".
 
capitanblack2007 said:
Hi guys
I have the same problem!
I dated a few guys who were younger than me (I am 28 and they were 20~24), and in all cases I was really anxious and shy.
Whenever we went out (to a cinema, coffee shop, restaurant, shopping center), all people looked at us crazily and we felt it. This was the main reason that we couldnt go further :((
Now, I've been messaging a guy who is 21 and we are gonna meet soon, but I am scared of this happens again.
Any advice?!
I have been thinking which other places we can go that less exposed to a lot of people looks?!
Click to expand...



Warm thanks to Rolyo85 & earlgrey for their responses :-)
The other thing between us now is our non-homogenous combination, lol.
I mean, we have different ethnicity; Consider a 28 Middle Eastern with facial hair & 20 white blond!!
I dont know, I might not continue with this one :(
 
capitanblack2007 said:
I mean, we have different ethnicity; Consider a 28 Middle Eastern with facial hair & 20 white blond!!
I dont know, I might not continue with this one :(
Click to expand...

I'm in the same boat here, I'm East Asian, and the guys I've dated have been Caucasian, so we can't exactly pass for father and son. I'm not even out out, but I sort of just don't care. Don't let what complete strangers think (or what you think they think of you guys) play such a big role into how your relationships turn out. Just be more confident about it.

A 20 and 28 year old could easily be friends/co-workers hanging out to be honest.
 
capitanblack2007 said:
Warm thanks to Rolyo85 & earlgrey for their responses :-)
The other thing between us now is our non-homogenous combination, lol.
I mean, we have different ethnicity; Consider a 28 Middle Eastern with facial hair & 20 white blond!!
I dont know, I might not continue with this one :(
Click to expand...

In the end it is all your choice as to whether or not the general consesus of the people around you comes into play or not.

To be honest, if you're happy with him then go for it, age & race has no impact on how you feel about someone and if the general public can't accept that, then well that's their loss.

-Coz
 
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