Age of leaving home.

[Inwood]

I left home, for all intents and purposes, just before my 18th birthday. I went away to uni for four years, coming home on breaks, but summers were always spent either in my college town or away somewhere. After uni, I spent about 4 months at home until I found a job in Chicago and have never looked back from there.

I see a lot more kids today staying at home mooching off their parents, and from what I can see, it can be a combination of various things. My sister has a full time job but has an extraordinary student loan bill each month, which is pretty much a mortgage payment these days. Unless she gets married or gets a job doubling her current salary (which isn't too shabby for a kid just out of uni) then she'll be home for the foreseeable future. My brother, on the other hand, is coasting along and seems to be a little aimless when it comes to school and a job. He's working full time but making a salary just above the poverty line, and is taking online classes rather than going to a full time school. With him its more laziness than anything.

I see kids today staying at home more, or worse, moving back in with mom and dad when things get tough, and I'm not necessarily sure that I agree with that. If I had fallen on hard times I know my parents would've offered help but I am pretty independent and would've come to them as a last resort. I like my freedom, I like having my own place and my own money, and as someone in my early 20's I didn't want to have to answer to anyone when I stumbled home blotto, or worse, brought someone home with me. Not only that, but there comes a point when you have to cut the apron strings and get on your own feet, regardless if you can continue to live in the same manner to which your accustomed. Gotta share an apartment with someone to make ends meet? Oh well, too bad, time to grow up. I think parents can share in some of the blame for the trend in kids staying at home longer than in the past.

Like birds, parents have to shove them out of the nest to get them to fly. Sometimes they fall, and sometimes they sprout wings and fly, but you never know what will happen until the foot is firmly planted in their arse.

 

[spooger]

i left home to live with a friend at 23 while going to college 2 miles down the road....it was a great arrangement i had with my family....i paid ALL of my own expenses (tuition, gas, insurance, personal expenses, etc) but i lived at home to avoid that BIG expense and concentrate on school

i came home one day and went to my room to find no bed or other furniture....my Mom came in smiling....my friend had come over and moved ALL my stuff....his mom was a realtor and had found this great house about 15 miles out in the country on 1/2 acre of land....we lived and worked together for about 8 years....

i was employed at the time, but not making enough really to afford rent on my own as well as all the other things...when i graduated and got a much better paying job, of course that changed

i think that now, in this worsening economy, many young people are staying at home longer or returning to live with parents...just because they can't afford to live alone

my bro moved in with me about 3 years ago when he lost his job in south georgia through no fault of his own....and he was a professional man....director of food services at a regional hospital....

he's re-employed now, but we remain roommates...i travel alot and he takes care of the house and my animals when i'm away

i think until the economy improves alot.....that young people will remain at home longer than we did in the past....and what's wrong with that? families staying together longer may not be a bad thing....

 

[spooger]

You sure wouldn't say that if you ever met my family!

well...in your case, then it's prob best to get away asap

i have traveled to Haiti several times a year since 2003 with a group of medical volunteers ... it is the norm for several generations to live together....perhaps in the same home built by great-great grandfather...often over 100 years ago ...

and the family tombs are on the same property since in rural communities there are no centralized cemeteries .. they are above ground concrete mausoleum type structures... and fully incorporated into daily life ... laundry may be draped over them to dry in the sun, or the family may sit on them in the afternoons while they chat or eat together outside .. the family unit in rural areas is an awesome thing to see

sorry to deviate... .. ..now back to topic fftopic:

 

[RationalLunacy]

If you have the attention span of an ADHD five-year-old, free free to skip along.....

I've been skipping along for a while now. What do I do next?

 

[rareboy]

I moved out when I was 18.

It just creeps me out that there are so many kids over the age of 20 living at home with their parents. Equally creepy how many parents want their kids to remain in their house.

C'mon. Get out there and live on your own.

 

[gmoney]

I couldn't wait to move out and have my "own" place and be out from under parental rule. I moved out at 18 with no real plan or concept of 'budgets' and financial responsibility. Had to move back home 6 months later.

I moved out again at age 21 with a good bit more maturity than the first time. I changed jobs a few times; moved all around the country, and continued to support myself successfully for the next 19 years.

I moved back home in 2002 to assist in my mother's care as she was battling terminal cancer..lost her in 2004.

My father has reached an age and state of health (which I've mentioned here b/4) where it has become necessary to remain indefinitely.

The only drawback is the restrictions it puts on me socially. I'm out, but he's old-fashioned enough that I doubt he could handle me bringing another man home to spend the night.

 

[backpacker]

I moved out at 18. I worked full time and carried a full load at school, which I paid for myself. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

I have no problem with kids living at home while in college, but once school is done they really should be on their own. Parents don't seem to understand that allowing kids to avoid responsibility at that age will hamper them for the rest of their lives.

 

[hermanding]

economic considerations probably have kept a lot of people home longer than they wished
ding

 

[kevbo]

I moved out when I was 18, and now when I live with my mom, it's much more like we're roommates. She definitely doesn't have the resources to take care of me as a mother, and we split all expenses when we do live together. Right now I'm on my own, though.

 

[USEDCAR]

I am 21 and still live at home its not easy just to move out and get a job with no education or anything. Most jobs pay minimum wage one thing that annoys me is when people say your 20 u should be on your own How do you know my finical situation? I'm just not ready yet i want to have an education and a good job before i think of moving out. So i don't have to work 2 or 3 jobs to make it plus a decent apartment here is expensive. Since businesses are closing and the Economy problems i think people are going to stay home until 40


I feel that when teens are ready they should be able to move out. Now if your close to 30 years old and working at a dead end job. Then maybe its time for you to leave

 

[Ekim23]

I moved when I was 17...

Well I had (and still have) a loan, I worked hard to pay for my studies and my parents and family helped me a bit.
that's pretty much bout it

 

[Corny]

standing on my own feet since 22 - and not even done with uni yet ...
it has it's disadvantages (being constantly broke for one .. ), but I would never do ever go back or do it different unless there is no other way

 

[operafan]

Left at 18 and never looked back. I know times are different now but I would have killed myself or them if I hadn't been able to leave. I know it's got to really be tough to still be at home when you'd rather be on your own.

 

[Telstra]

I moved out when I was 18.

It just creeps me out that there are so many kids over the age of 20 living at home with their parents. Equally creepy how many parents want their kids to remain in their house.

C'mon. Get out there and live on your own.

Sounds easy.
Where is the money going to come from?
And how much is a house cost ??

 

[Yooper]

Interesting subject.

My Mom was at least consistent raising me and my much younger half-brothers.

At age 8, you no longer got an 'allowance'; you began 'earning' based on chores, etc. Yearly discussions (on your birthday) were about raises, salary negotiations, and additional responsibilities commensurate with additional wages. Take on the laundry, an additional $5/week (or something like that). Vacuum the common areas of the house, more money.

At age 14, your wages were cut in half, in exchange for room and board. Chores were expected. No chores, no wages. If you wanted more money, you could go mow lawns, shovel snow, babysit, etc.

At age 16, your wages ended, in exchange for room and board. If one refused to do assigned chores, your board ended. Bread and water for you! Actually, you just didn't get fed until you completed your assigned tasks. No completion, no supper. If you wanted any money you had to go find a job. Bad economy or no. No exceptions.

At age 18 (or completion of High School), you were expected to attend College/University. If not, you must begin paying rent, based on market prices (which YOU were expected to research and submit a rental proposal). If you would attend school, you had the first year where she would pay for Tuition, Room and Board (no books or spending money). Second year and beyond, you were on your own.

After age 19, you could come visit Mom (up to Two weeks maximum). She made sure of that, because whenever any one of us turned 19, she would move and downsize. No more bedroom. Visitors get to sleep on the couch.

Mom now lives in a one bedroom house, and her sons are still welcome to visit, up to two weeks. And you are expected to help with the food budget.

The system worked, in different ways for the three of us. No one ever moved home.

 

[Yooper]

Oh, and I almost forgot the Merit-Based Bonus system.

From grades 7-12, about a week before school started, Mom would sit us down and negotiate the school year grade bonuses.

These were based on a 6-class, A-B-C-D-F system. If we were in a school that did things differently, adjustments were made. And the money went up (usually) as the years went on, to adjust to inflation.

MY 7th grade bonus, per class, 4 quarters per school year (4 bonus periods):
A=$5.00
B=$2.50
C=$1.00
D=no bonus paid
F=($5.00)...meaning you OWED $5.00

By 12th Grade (1981):
A=$10.00
B=$5.00
C=$2.50
D=nothing
F=($10.00)
Meaning if you got 6 A's x 4 quarters I had the POTENTIAL to earn $240.00, not bad for 1981.

AND...because I knew the negotiation session was coming up, I was expected to present the new school year proposal with appropriate material, which escalated every year. By the time I was a senior in High School, I was expected to come with graphs, statistics, etc. and a typed proposal for the bonus system. She made me earn it.

The whole thing made all of us quite responsible for our own actions, starting at an early age.

It sounds harsh but makes sense.

 

[Corny]

My Mom was at least consistent raising me and my much younger half-brothers.

At age 8, [...]

Are you serious

This is um ... at least unconventional ..

 

[sulphur-springs]

I live a pretty privileged life at home, so I'm in no rush. By the time I get a job as a correctional officer, I'll buy a townhouse. That'll probably happen by the time I'm 21.

 

[rareboy]

This coming from someone with salt and pepper hair. How old are you and what was the average cost to rent an apartment when you were 20?

Proportionate to income; actually no different than now. I lived with other students when I was in university and then lived in a bachelor apartment for a few years until I met my partner. I was independently poor and happy.

You see, Travis, it has never been cheap, or easy.

 

[rareboy]

Sounds easy.
Where is the money going to come from?
And how much is a house cost ??

D'uhhh. We call it work. You provide your labour or services and people pay you for it. Sometimes not much. Often it requires you to leave your house.

And here's the thing Telstra. You can move out and not buy a house. It is called renting. Sometimes with a few other mates until you can afford a place of your own.