Ageism

[fetaby]

I knew you were an old hippy.

<snicker>

But so am I. And I'm "real glad".

I love pushing 50.

To answer the OP: yes, there's a lot of ageism in the gay community. I'm afraid to admit that I'm guilty of it myself, but there's no substitute for experience.

Who're you callin' old?





31

 

[fetaby]

Is ten years not long enough?!?!!

 

[altlover85]

Yeah, I admit it.

Not the looks, of course. How could you feel ageist against a group of men who have the body of a Michelangelo statue?

Well, younger guys physically do very little for me.

It's the mind thing. Young people are oftentimes terribly naive, terribly idealistic, and come up with some of the lamest cockamamie ideas you ever heard.

One could say that older people are set in their ways, dull, tired, cranky, and hold on to reactionary ideas. One would also be wrong.

Sure there are some younger people that are naive and sure there are older people that have some of the qualities that I've described, but I don't think all of them are like the stereotypes.

Can you give me some examples of being terribly idealistic and some of the bad ideas that younger people have come up with?

 

[Anders123]

Yeah, well, um, you know.

You raise an interesting point

 

[castoono]

I think ageism exists, sadly. I am the opposite myself, but ageist anyway. Many young men -mostly all- are away from my preferences.
In my case, they -youths- are innocently overlooked at once, no matter how much they flex or how hot they think they are.
The more they insist is worse. They are used to despise older men and I do the same with them. It's divine Justice. But still they can do a-thing: grow older.

 

[Anders123]

And I had to think long and hard about it before it occurred to me too. Then I was SO exhausted, I had to lay down for a nap.

Well, I hope you've recovered enough to lay down some more words of wisdom.

 

[sixthson]

Unless you are a 45 year old man who is trying to hookup with 20 year olds, why would you care that they feel superior to you? We all know they aren't anyway.

 

[castoono]

Hitting up the clubs? if u want to see ageism go with a 50yr old guy to a club and see what happens..

If I am there you would see one of the hottest men in place going for the daddy. Bam! (But he has to be a tough guy, not pretty, not even big or in shape, but a real man)

 

[GiacomoPisani]

in europe,in both,gay and straight culture, it is accepted and even expected that the younger pursue the older, and not the older pursuing the younger.this is why in europe,most of the gay scene is actually quite divided by age group,unlike here in the usa.this has occur because as gays are being more accepted into society new generations of young gays can very well mix with straight people in a club,this is why most gay nightclubs in mayor European cities might even seem invaded by heteros.the majority of older gays do not have that "mixing" with straight people so they sort of form their own group apart.

ageism exist because it is natural, all mammals do it.my partner is 39yo and i'm 29 yo.i definitely prefer to have a relationship with an older guy,as i don't like to be the older one in a relationship.i personally don't find relationships of younger people with older ones gross or anything.

regarding the mixing of gays and old guys in nightclubs etc,i think that they have a totally different purpose of going there than young guys do.sometimes they even turn a young gay gathering into a meat market, and i'm saying this out of experience.

 

[altlover85]

Specifically?
Well, a lot of younger guys (myself, included, at that age) think they are going to meet their Prince Charming, fall in love, and live happily ever after. ATL, you're wise beyond your years, and probably already know that that's not too terribly realistic.

I think a lot of people would like to meet the guy of their dreams and if you don't have a lot of experience in relationships, you may come in with unrealistic expectations, but is that the fault of youth alone or does society also play a part?

There are of course many others. One young guy with whom I worked recently said,"I think if a guy has worked at a place for so many years, and hasn't made the effort to climb up the company ladder, then they need to get rid of him."

Well it does show a lack of drive, but I can't see that being an issue unless the guy was a bad worker.

And then, I've heard it frequently expressed, in young Republicans mostly, that they need to get rid of Social Security completely, because it's a kind of welfare, and if they didn't save for their retirement, it's their own damn fault. (You don't hear older Republicans say that very often.)

Of course older republicans aren't going to say that because they are closer to retirement, but I chalk that more up to being selfish and having a lack of empathy. I'm sure some older republicans feel the same way about programs that affect younger people and other groups of people. What I'm saying is that doesn't have as much to do with age as it does the kind of person saying it.

 

[metta]

Over 50 is considered death in our community. Honestly, where do you all see yourselves as senior citizens? I bet most here believe they are immune to growing old.

40 is normally the cut off point for many people. I don't think that they don't realize that they will get old. I think they may feel that they are unable to relate to people older. I think that it is normal, up to a point.

 

[metta]

I hope I'm retired and living somewhere warm and have a nice group of friends around. I'd like to still be active and mobile and I'd like to be able to do some volunteer work and see some plays. I wouldn't mind hitting up the clubs, but that could just be me talking now and I may feel differently when I get older.

lol...you make 50 sound really old....

I have had friends anywhere from 25 to 101. Now 101...that is old....

 

[altlover85]

lol...you make 50 sound really old....

I have had friends anywhere from 25 to 101. Now 101...that is old....

Well spiff mentioned senior citizens, which to me means 65+ so I was talking about people over 65, not 50 year olds.

I know plenty of people in their 50's and not many of them are retired.

 

[foxylina]

-glares at dynk-

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

ageism is a what a happen when ya get ta 1 years old WHAT AMAZIN

unless ya born inta cultures full of cheese so deep and thick they no idea they stuck at 1 fa eva

 

[GiacomoPisani]

i don't think that being attracted to someone because of his/her age is wrong at all

 

[altlover85]

would you imagine what it would be like if they ever come up with one substance that can turn straight into gays and with another one that can turn gays into straights,ooooooh my god,we are gonna have a lot of fun turning straights in to gays and then the straights trying to convert us to heterosexuality.

What does that have to do with ageism?

 

[GiacomoPisani]

What does that have to do with ageism?

i'm soooooo sorry,i really swear i thought that i was in the other thread about changing sexual orientation for mice.that's why i tried to corrected but you saw what i wrote to quickly.i'm sort of sleepy at this moment.i'm sooo sorry sweetheart.

 

[altlover85]

i'm soooooo sorry,i really swear i thought that i was in the other thread about changing sexual orientation for mice.that's why i tried to corrected but you saw what i wrote to quickly.i'm sort of sleepy at this moment.i'm sooo sorry sweetheart.

It's not the end of the world, but I thought maybe you'd gone a little loopy.

 

[altlover85]

Combat it how? By forcing young twinks to sleep with older silver daddies? I think the whole concept of ageism within dating (not just the gay community) is taken out of context. If it's on a personal matter it's more of a preference as in "I prefer to not date someone who was around to see the Hindenburg crash". Now if it's in a professional setting: work, school, library, department store and said person is being refused service/education/pay increase/etc because of his or her age then yes that is a clear and present bias and is real ageism. Anything outside of that is really just a matter of preference and people really just need to get over the fact that just because you're old(er) and someone who is young(er) doesn't want to date/hook-up/whatever with you is ageist, because they're not and it is an overplayed excuse and is starting to get really stale.

I wasn't talking about dating in particular. It was a general question.