All aboard the single express

[Wvnudist]

I'm single because I realized that's best for me do as I want when I want. I can have sex with whoever I want

 

[JPGhost]

I am horny because I can't get anyone, which is fine, I like to leave myself to sexual fantasies since I can't and probably won't act them out. I don't want to spread myself thin amongst so many people like others have done, that is just not who I am.

xcuse my knee jerk reaction
That's not what I meant but from your description about yourself it seems you depict yourself as unattractive whereas we need to put aside that negativities in dating/rltship.
I just concerned for the words you described yourself, you need to feel attractive to express yourself out there or guys will just overlook/passing you.
That's why I think you have to reshape your sexuality as well, not by the means to tart yourself as a whore because being over sexualized also attract a wrong person -_-

 

[GreyUnderscore]

Hmm let's see. I'm boring, not attractive, I'm not very good at social events. Dating seems like a hassle and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't go so well.

I am ok being single. I like my space and my time.

 

[JPGhost]

I give up ^_^

 

[ibill1]

I'm single because after 34 yrs. he up and died on me.

 

[rareboy]

I just want to have a yenta party and fix a whole bunch of you guys up.

I have to say that the biggest obstacle to finding a mate is being intransigent in your ways. Decide to step entirely outside your comfort zone and share yourself and everything you have and want to have with another.

I think it is not only perfectly okay but actually great that some people decide that they can function just as well solo as with a life partner...but the romantic in me knows there is someone out here for each and every one of you.

Oh.

And some guys will just be single because they are total dicks.

 

[Telstra]

You could have just stopped there Telly

why did you delete the word single ?

 

[blackbeltninja]

I'm single. I had two long-term things (about 6 months and about 16 months) but to be fair to all involved in both cases I'd probably checked out mentally about 2/3 of the way through. Work was an issue; still is. Being at different places in our lives (cliche time!) was a massive hindrance as well.

Why am I single now? Well, in part it's because I'm selfish. I'm set in my ways and have my own routines and things I do on a regular basis; additionally, I like my space. I like having options for my (very limited) free time which don't involve having to please someone else with it or having to give it up. Perhaps getting set in my ways and owning a routine was a self-defence mechanism from when I was single beforehand, to cushion the blow of being alone by leading an otherwise-overflowing life; either way, I am now very good indeed at being single, and quite comfortable with it too. It's a jaded view, sure, but currently the only massive plus I can think of about being in a relationship is more regular sex. And I'm not even sure that is worth the effort.

-d-

 

[bankside]

i was single forever for all these reasons:

"If it happens it happens"

My waiting so late to act on my gay attraction is the chief reason, that and growing up in a time and place where gay was wholly taboo and leaving meant entering a world without support or any expectation of being loved there.

In the meanwhile, I continue socializing, making a home worth living in (alone or with a mate), developing interests, pursuing hobbies, learning, helping, loving, and reaching out to the world.

-The girls only wanted the tall, hunky boys who played sports and partied, and that was/is not me. The gay men were too preppy and femboyish to be my friend or a boyfriend
-I was too caught up in schoolwork and home life to really go out and get to know anyone, let alone date

Now that I am older, wiser and more in tune with everything, I still can't find anyone deserving of my heart. Most gay men my age are way too much into their looks and just want to party and fuck everything in sight.

I'm single because I'm weird.

I don't want to spread myself thin amongst so many people like others have done, that is just not who I am.

and then I wasn't. Soon to be 16 years.

One more reason: once bitten twice shy... took me a while before i was sure I could avoid the mistakes of others and avoid repeating my own mistakes.

 

[diamondstar]

Still single.

 

[birddog7]

I'm single because I'm old, not good looking (face or body), socially disfunctional, insecure, no money, not trusting of others, mental problems, etc, etc...

 

[ibill1]

This thread is making me sad. I believe I'll exit now.

 

[justsimon]

I'm single because:
· I took a couple of years to get over a broken heart and I've spent the last year focusing on some health problems.
· I don't go out much … mostly I just go to work, go to a coffee shop to work more, and go home.
· I'm quite shy and stick to my small group of close friends.
· Most of the new people I meet are through work and, therefore, off limits.
· I'm picky.
· I'm sort of perplexed by the concept of going on a date with someone I've never met. It takes me months to feel comfortable around someone …

I would very much like to be in a solid relationship, but I'm okay with being single for now.

 

[JPGhost]

I am unattractive and they already overlook me, they don't want a short, ugly kid like myself, they want that typical delusion of a "Ken doll" type man. What do you mean by "reshape"?

it's really difficult to convince me that you're physically unattractive- if you ever posted your real pic here no matter what description your label yourself, I still think you're good looking and "in the game". Why? Because my standard is pretty low- unless you're horribly disfigured by accident/ inherently. I hope people also think that way, we often shoot ourselves down harshly than our actual reality is.

But you're right..maybe I better shut my mouth because whatever decision and outcome is yours.
Btw to "reshape" means for you to not become inhibited, because sexual inhibition whether mental/physical could ruin all your chance entirely, that'll completely cramp your style when you meet a new guy and you def dont want that to happen

 

[quasar]

I'm kind of single - although I have a very close friendship developing - partly because I actually like my own time and space, and partly because a relationship isn't at the top of my 'Must Do' list at the moment. In addition, at my age (47) I struggle to find many men in my age group to be 'interesting'. Too many are either in a stale routine, have neglected their health or just plain old before their time - it's like they've forgotten how to laugh and enjoy themselves. I'm more at home with a bunch of twentysomethings having a laugh in a bar or bowling etc and that seems to show - which is why I tend to have more twentysomethings hitting on me than guys my own age.

For those still single, but who don't want to be, the thing that is most often holding them back (not always, but often) is self-esteem. This psychological behavioural issue is something that can be addressed relatively easily. When we use excuses such as I'm overweight, I'm ugly, I'm boring, I'm socially inept etc we're actually creating our own obstacles and using them as barricades - and while they protect us from others, eventually the barricades become too high for us to climb over without a helping hand.

The crazy thing about these obstacles too, is that more often than not, they're not even based on fact - they're simply our OWN version of events. We're second-guessing what someone may think about us - without any evidence to back it up.

As with many psychological issues, it isn't a case of it all being in the mind, the issue feels very real to the individual affected by it, but it CAN be overcome. Anyone who recognises this obstacle building and second guessing in their own lives would benefit from researching Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - there's a lot to gain from this kind of therapy.

 

[eastofeden]

Stretch marks and flab are not sexy. That is a few reason why I hate my body, and can't do much to change it unless I got laser surgery to remove the striations and some nip and tuck for the extra skin. I don't think I'll get anyone to date me regardless, just too much superficiality in the world and not enough love and understanding.

The sexiest thing about any man is attitude. I am genuinely surprised that so many people don't get that. I used to think most everyone did...I was wrong.

 

[ronboy]

I'm single, and I can honestly now say it is by choice...

My first committed relationship was my first love, Vincent, who I've told about many times here on JUB. We were both so young, and in the closet. Our time was cut short by a car crash which killed my sweet Vincent.

For the next ten years, I was single, and being a total pig about sex. I dated, went to adult bookstores, and sex clubs. But there was nobody I really cared to be with. It is a miracle that I have remained healthy, considering some of the guys that I had sex with.

Then there was Dave. My hunky, younger friend-of-a-friend, totally opposite of the guys I was sexing it up with...He tried and tried to convince me that we should be together. And because of the age difference, I fought him all the way. He finally won me over, and the next 11 years were bliss. One day he comes home from work, tells me that he doesn't love me anymore, and it's over.

That was in 2007. I have been single ever since. And I learned that I liked being single. Dave and I tried to be friends with benefits, but he wanted to get back together as a couple and I realized that I was now past that. I still see him around (we live in the same town), he will occasionally call me, but whatever closeness that there once was, is gone.

I'm at that point of my life where I'm good with being single. I look forward to my alone time, as well as seeing my friends, (and making new friends like PreTTy PeTe!)

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm not single, but here's my "Express" single.

"heeeeere it comes...the express..."

Lex

 

[blackbeltninja]

just plain old before their time - it's like they've forgotten how to laugh and enjoy themselves.

I know people 10 and 20 years your junior who fall into this category.

-d-

 

[Audio Tech]

Why am I single now? Well, in part it's because I'm selfish. I'm set in my ways and have my own routines and things I do on a regular basis; additionally, I like my space. I like having options for my (very limited) free time which don't involve having to please someone else with it or having to give it up. Perhaps getting set in my ways and owning a routine was a self-defence mechanism from when I was single beforehand, to cushion the blow of being alone by leading an otherwise-overflowing life; either way, I am now very good indeed at being single, and quite comfortable with it too. It's a jaded view, sure, but currently the only massive plus I can think of about being in a relationship is more regular sex. And I'm not even sure that is worth the effort.

-d-

I'll just quote this. Saves me a bunch of typing.

And no, it's not worth the effort. Too much drama.

If I want sex, I know where to get it, no strings attached. I'm totally fine with that.

I LIKE being single, despite my age.