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In high school and some of college I had sex with lots “straight” buddies, and I was happy to make them happy. But it wasn’t enough. By the time I got halfway through college I got sick of guy who wouldn’t kiss, show emotion, or talk about what we did. Once you have sex with a guy who WANTS you, you don’t want to go back to being a human Fleshjack.

Those guys who wanted it - wanted the release - but could not accept in their minds that they were gay or bi. I understood where they were coming from. The physical pleasure was easy to enjoy - but growing up gays were the punchlines of jokes and we figured you had to be like Liberace if you were gay - and none of us were like that so that meant we could not be gay. So we had to be straight guys that were experimenting like they talked about in health class. And many of the guys got girlfriends and never wanted to fool around again. Of course when you realize you have been "experimenting" for years and when you realize you are thinking about new guys to experiment with when you are jacking off rather than the girl in the Playboy magazine you do start to wonder if maybe it is more than an experiment.
 
In high school and some of college I had sex with lots “straight” buddies, and I was happy to make them happy. But it wasn’t enough. By the time I got halfway through college I got sick of guy who wouldn’t kiss, show emotion, or talk about what we did. Once you have sex with a guy who WANTS you, you don’t want to go back to being a human Fleshjack.

I hear you, and I understand when you've experienced intimacy and connection, that's what you prefer, you don't want to go back to it being just purely physical, furtive fucking on the side.

For me, sex is very physical and I take enjoyment from the feelings of penetration and submission. Guys who don't identify as wanting intimacy, guys who want to fuck a hole and get off, are enjoyable to me. I don't feel like I'm being used in a way that you seem to suggest you felt. It's just fun. Each of us is different.
 
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