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Almost 22 and... what?

DarthWufei

DarthWufei

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I don't know anymore, lol. I went on my first date ever a few days ago, with a guy I had met online. I wasn't feeling it, but I definitely think I made a good friend out of it.

Regardless though, I've had next to no experience in the relationship area. I'm not even sure if there's any one thing I can attribute to this. I'm shy, I'm not the nicest looker in the bunch that's for sure, I suppose I'm not very approachable being shy and very straight acting, I kind of have a "type" which I don't think is a good thing to have whatsoever, I tend to fall for straight guys, and the list goes on.

I've gone through periods where i try to be very active in finding someone, and when I just let it go and down think about it. I've just gotten no where and I'm not really sure what to do anymore.
 
Let's start somewhere, shall we?:wave:

You are not the hottest dude in the bunch? Cool. The hottest dudes are hard to come by and that's their greatest disadvantage. Few guys dare to hit on them for the fear of being rejected. You are, who you are. What makes you attractive is that you do your very best to be as attractive as you possibly can. People are like dogs. They sense that and they will show their interest in you alright. Go all the nine yards. Hit the gym, do some lite suntanning, make sure your clothes look good on you. Get a very cool haircut and always, always, look good. Looking good is like sending that powerful message on the all the frequencies: I do take good care of myself. I can take good care of you, too. People adore this.

You have your type and that has not worked too well, so far? Hey, we all live and learn and go through the life by negotiating our way around. At times, we are lucky and at other times, other people get to be the lucky ones... This comes with the territory. Most people agree that we all want Mr. Right but now and then even Mr. Right Now is fine, too.

Lots of guys out there believe that the true love will find you and that you do not have to do a thing about it. Now, if we all adopted that comfy approach, the whole world would come to a perfect limbo. We'll be all sitting at home, waiting for someone to knock at our doors and since we are all sitting and waiting, no one will be doing the knocking... (pun? who cares?). Get organized and plan it all out. Go and date and do your very best. Why? Because that is the way to cope with it, and that is the only way for you to avoid the feelings of regret later on. You do your part to your utmost. The rest is in the hands of the others and that is NEVER your responsibility.

Good Luck,

SC
 
Post pictures of your self. And i will go from there. Oh yeah, and it could be that you live in, Oklahoma
 
i appreciate the help guys. Pics... hmmm alright. >_>

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I think my appearance is probably the thing i need to work on the most, I know I'm not butt ugly, but I'm very much overweight and need to lose a spare tire or two. I'm working on that already though, so hopefully it all works out.

As far me being in Oklahoma, yeah it doesn't help at all. Half the reason why I'm afraid to approach people, never know what kind of reaction I'll get so I generally don't.
 
DarthWufei said:
i appreciate the help guys. Pics... hmmm alright. >_>

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CIMG1043.jpg


I think my appearance is probably the thing i need to work on the most, I know I'm not butt ugly, but I'm very much overweight and need to lose a spare tire or two. I'm working on that already though, so hopefully it all works out.

As far me being in Oklahoma, yeah it doesn't help at all. Half the reason why I'm afraid to approach people, never know what kind of reaction I'll get so I generally don't.
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Hum i think you pretty much summed up what i was going to day. You seem to know what you have to do. If i were in your situation it would seem as if internet dating (which can be risky) would be the best route for you to take. I doubt they offer much at where your at, but im sure they offer SOME kind of function for gay men out there, some where.
 
I hate to bump my old ass thread, but not a day after I posted it, I actually got hit on at one of the gay organization meetings lol. I actually went out with the guy and a friend today, had a decent time and I can tell he wants something out of me.

The thing is, he seems to just want to get a nice hook up for the night, and I dunno if that's really what I want to do...

But um yeah, I guess things aren't as bad as it seemed, I just needed to actually MEET some people who are gay.
 
DarthWufei said:
I hate to bump my old ass thread, but not a day after I posted it, I actually got hit on at one of the gay organization meetings lol. I actually went out with the guy and a friend today, had a decent time and I can tell he wants something out of me.

The thing is, he seems to just want to get a nice hook up for the night, and I dunno if that's really what I want to do...

But um yeah, I guess things aren't as bad as it seemed, I just needed to actually MEET some people who are gay.
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I'd say, a lot of guys out there are looking for a casual, no strings attached hook-up. There is nothing wrong with that one either. A dude wants to get his rocks off and he sees you as a qualified partner for that little exercise.

Sure, you may want to think it over and decide for yourself. You get the say in the matter just as much as he does.

Yet, if you managed to connect with the dude, I would not be turning him down without much ado. Few guys are willing to go to very great lengths and enter committed and monogamous relationships (or any relationship, whatsoever) without making sure that the sexual part works...

Look, you are single. You are not cheating on anyone. What's wrong with having some fun?

SC
 
If you don't want a hook-up, by all means don't have one.

OTOH if you're curious about sex and want to try it in a no-strings attached manner, it's a great way to start. But if you're the type of person who latches onto someone after sex, it may be a bad thing.

You really have ask yourself if it's right for you. No one can tell you that.
 
Thanks again guys, not sure where I'll go with it, but I'll figure it out. Really appreciate it!
 
Yeah, and I hate to say it, but I love it out here. I know that's pretty screwed up, but it's true. Always enjoyed the kind of weather we get, and well.. I've spent almost all of my life here so I'm pretty partial to it.

But yeah, now if only I could get rid of just about everyone else that lives here.
 
where do live, ill g out w/ you, lol im straight acting and shy too hehe
 
Luka said:
where do live, ill g out w/ you, lol im straight acting and shy too hehe
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*grin* You're a cutie too! :P Now if you can find a reason to leave Maine for this godforsaken state! XD

I really appreciate the help guys, I know I've said that about 50 times but yeah. I figure I'd start being a little more open and social, especially in areas like the organization here. I've finally started talking with people and just being myself.

So while I'm not hoping that'll instantly gratify me meeting someone (though I did get hit on lol), I just hope it helps boost my confidence and whatnot.
 
Hey I hope no one's gonna be too pissy that I decided to bump this old thread of mine but I just kind of wanted to give an update for anyone that seems to care, heh.

Well...I'm still single, hah. However it's not much of a big deal to me at the moment. I took a lot of the advice here to heart and just been working on upping my own self-esteem and confidence by socializing more and working out.

Been spending a lot more time with friends lately than I did before, and I've gonna on quite the work out trip. Been at it for a couple of months now and I've lost about 20 lbs, in case you guys haven't seen the weight loss thread in the other forum. Actually I have a couple of pictures from a few days ago that were taken of me and thought I'd link then. I still have the pictures I linked last time and god are they horrible compared to these!

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I've been having a blast, and maybe I will run into that someone soon enough, but I'm not really gunning for it too much anymore. Although I have to admit I've been a lot more confident about making eye contact and acknowledging other guys I find attractive. Gotten a few smiles back too! :)

Anywho, thanks guys for all the advice and support. I'll definitely will have more going down in the future.
 
DarthWufei said:
Been spending a lot more time with friends lately than I did before, and I've gonna on quite the work out trip. Been at it for a couple of months now and I've lost about 20 lbs, in case you guys haven't seen the weight loss thread in the other forum. Actually I have a couple of pictures from a few days ago that were taken of me and thought I'd link then. I still have the pictures I linked last time and god are they horrible compared to these!
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Comparing the two sets of pictures, the big difference in them is that you're smiling and you look happy in the most recent set.

It's amazing how much more attractive people are when they are happy.


BiGDawGRTL said:
I just kind of wanted to give an update for anyone that seems to care, heh.
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Actually, we do. Thanks for the update. And congratulations.
 
I'm glad all your hard work is paying off.Once you start feeling better about yourself you will start having more fun and it will be like a chain reaction and others will be more attracted to you too.

Have a blast (*8*)
 
I am genuinely pleased that you are getting lighter and happier at the same time.

Don't get too anxious about relationships. Spend some time just having fun and keeping it casual.

Spending time with friends is very important...they can make the crappiest day better.
 
you're a good looking guy, that's for sure!

as for the weight, don't stress about it to fit into "gay standards", do it for your own health.

i dated a guy for about 6 months who used to tell me i'd be really hot if i lost 25lbs...WTF? you picked me up at a bar being the weight i am. if you think that is going to encourage me to lose weight, you're wrong. in fact it made me want to punch him in the face for being such twat.

there is someone out there for everyone and you'll meet someone who'll want to be with you for who you are....not who they want you to be.

glad to hear you've been getting out there with your friends and having a good time!
 
Wow, you guys are too sweet really! I really appreciate the compliments and encouragement.

headhunter, I totally hear you here. I'm definitely doing this for the physical and mental health benefits first and foremost. Though I can't say the way others view or treat meet doesn't have a factor. I think I have developed a bit of ego now of sorts. Not a bad one though, but I spend a little too much time in front of the mirror now compared to before, heh.

Seriously though, it's always been something I've wanted to do. I've always wanted to be in shape and proud of my body so I'm gonna do what I can to get there.

I should probably mention another big accomplishment of mine lately. I'm taking a pretty standard fare public speaking course and for the last speech of the semester I decided to talk about gay marriage and homosexuality in general. Now keep in mind I'm out, but it's on a need/want to know basis. If people ask I answer honestly, well unless they're some guy who obviously doesn't give a nice impression. Anyway, for me to talk about anything that hits so close to home, in this state, was rough. I was determined to do though and take the assignment seriously and do my best and it actually went better than expected. I actually got people to question a lot of things about society today and notice what's going on, and I only was asked decent questions. No one condemning me or my position.

Anyway, I'm rambling too much, but I've been through so much lately I just thought I'd share it with you guys. Seeing as how I'm still new to the community yet still welcomed with such warm open arms. Really appreciate it!
 
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