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Almost beat up an older guy

P

Persian89

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I'm sorta drunk... this JUSt happend
Alright, this might sound a bit weird or even as a joke but...

I got a sugar daddy that I use for stuff, yup I'm a whore and he's not bad looking, just tooooooo old and a bit chubby. I don't really mind bottoming with older guys, so this is just pure sex, he does sorta know it, I might say dumb stuff while drunk and I only see him drunk! I get good stuff so it's sorta win-win. Anyway last time I saw him I was single and living in Stockholm with my parents, I got an Ipod :D.

Anyway, I moved away, to a new city when University started, and sorta met someone after weeks of getting shit faced with the initiations (nolle-p).

So I sorta broke contact with the fat chubby old guy that likes 30 year old younger guys.


For a while it was good, but we broke up after a three months. Now I just saw my sugar daddy, driving his car all the way here just for my ass (fucking fag).
But I was sure I didn't mind him fucking me, but alas I was wrong.
After a 30 minutes, I got so disgusted - dunno if it was that I was drunk and didn't eat anything or just...well pissed of.

I didn't like him, I hated him, felt angry that he did this to me.
I know it sounds sorta schrizo but I think it was on a higher level, I mean I'm sane, nothing schizo with me, I knew I was like someone else, just not why I was like that.

Dunno if it is related with http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=242081
I mean with those, I wasn't really disgusted as I was here and VERY pissed off.

Pushed him off, couldn't even look him in the eyes, creeping me out, fucking old man.
I went back and forward in my room like an authentic kid, avoiding eye contact while got dressed.
I faked writing on my computer (just giberrish, but c++ so it looked like somenthing)

He just left... I dunno wtf did I just happend, usually I enjoy getting fucked and I don't him doing it, but just now I wanted to rip his FUCKING head of.
Fugly fat fuck.

Eh.. I feel bad, not abotu what I just did, but feeling like this, disgusted and angry sucks. Can still smell his weird fucking breath. I'm glad he didn't drink anything so he could drive home, I would have kicked him out otherwise.

Still got lube between my chicks, should shower and change clothes..and get some food.
 
You have an awful lot of anger directed towards him.

Are you really projecting that anger from yourself?
 
Isn't it disgusting that old fat guys think they can just fuck younger guys, just because the younger guys say they can?

Lex
 
If you live long enough, you'll be old some day. Perhaps you should remove yourself from this sex-for-pay lifestyle and become a nicer person. Then you might grow up and become a pleasant older guy who might even meet younger buys just because he's a nice guy and projects that image.
 
I hate to be blunt, but you're a mess right now. It might stem from basic immaturity, which thankfully is taken care of in time. But, I suspect it's more than that--some unresolved, deep-seated hatred toward yourself that's being projected to those innocent enough to get into your orbit.

You drink yourself to oblivion, you smoke shit, you vomit in bushes, and you treat people, whom you have invited into your pants, like trash. Is it any wonder to you that you are probably as despised by them and you feel toward them?

You need to get control of your life and turn it around. No one can do it for you, and no amount of posts on an internet board can do it, either. YOU need to recognize that YOU are the one responsible for your miserable existence and do something about it. The best (and only) way is therapy. Someone needs to sit you down, listen to all of your issues, and help you sort out where you need to change and how to cope with the world. Until you do, your life is going to be one miserable escapade after another.

Get going. There's no reason someone as bright as you needs to be such a walking disaster.
 
No offense, but I don't agree with the situation you were in. You could have chosen a nicer way to let him down, instead of fighting with him the way you did.
 
Thanks for sharing.

Hope your hangover isn't too bad tomorrow.
 
You're angry because he's taking advantage of you. You don't want to have sex with him. So don't. An Ipod isn't worth your dignity and sanity.
 
youngnihilist said:
You're angry because he's taking advantage of you. You don't want to have sex with him. So don't. An Ipod isn't worth your dignity and sanity.
Click to expand...

Considering other things he has revealed in the past...I'd say he's simply an extremely angry person. This old man is not the problem, it's just a projection, a reflection of the REAL problem...wich lies inside of him.
 
Well at least he didn't punch the old man. he just said he felt like he does. i agree he's angry regardless of this situation, but prostitution isn't for everyone.
 
marleyisalegend said:
You gave it up for an Ipod?

Fucking amateurs.

:wink:

You should hang out with me and mine, we wouldn't give it up for any less than a roundtrip vacation to the Islands, all expenses paid and a little (or a lotta) extra spending cash.

THAT is how you trick. When you aim low, you hit low, you feel low. Get your game up son.
Click to expand...

LMFAO. OMG. Your post are the best! Ditto.
 
Soo you have to be completely drunk to see him? Didn't you think that a problem to begin with??? Time for a self-evaluation.
 
Jasun said:
um... WHAT dignity and sanity. girlfriend gives it up to fat old men for an iPod and calls them "faggot." Then comes here to brag about it. What's dignified or sane about that?
Click to expand...

Quite true. This dude needs to get a grip, he's a bit out of control.
 
marleyisalegend said:
Counting out the change at the cash register is a bit out of control. Taking a handful of mints from the 'help yourself' bowl is a bit out of control. He's a bit beyond 'a bit out of control.'
Click to expand...

Again, quite true.
 
Hey, Persian89--can you spell s-o-c-i-o-p-a-t-h-i-c?
Get help. Quit drinking and whoring--if that's what it takes.
There might ( just maybe) be a real person inside you somewhere.
I hope you find him someday.
 
Jasun - not whoring one's self out for cheap toys is keeping dignity and sanity
 
Was it one of the good iPods--or just a shuffle?
 
I'll try to post without being seeming as rude as I did in the last serious topic I posted in (sorry marley :() My lack of experience can make me immature at times. Uh, being a "young person" myself -- 18 -- I can understand the anger associated with your situation albeit alcohol didn't help you. Sometimes we get internally fed up with something and just let it out and hurt someone. I think this was a sign to you that you no longer need to be someones playtoy and that you need to move on.

Was what you did wrong? For the most part I'd say Yes! But being a teenager we get angry pretty easily (alcohol too) but that being said it could've been handled better in any case.
 
darkdreamerx said:
I'll try to post without being seeming as rude as I did in the last serious topic I posted in (sorry marley :() My lack of experience can make me immature at times. Uh, being a "young person" myself -- 18 -- I can understand the anger associated with your situation albeit alcohol didn't help you. Sometimes we get internally fed up with something and just let it out and hurt someone. I think this was a sign to you that you no longer need to be someones playtoy and that you need to move on.

Was what you did wrong? For the most part I'd say Yes! But being a teenager we get angry pretty easily (alcohol too) but that being said it could've been handled better in any case.
Click to expand...

His level of anger doesn't correlate completely with merely being a teenager. There's MUCH more behind it...it's a deep and severe anger, sometimes uncontrollable, that lies inside of him. It's not doing him any good, obviously, and certainly not doing anyone else's good. He really should do something about this.
 
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