almost ruined a straight friendship

[collegefratboy86]

Well as everyone knows too much alcohol can be a good thing but most of the time it is a bad thing. That is the case here. One night after returning home from a night out drinking with buddies, I decided to text a very close friend of mine. We will say his name is Chris. I don't really remember how exactly I brought it up but I pretty much said something like, "Chris I have a question but I don't know if I want to ask it". And of course he told me I could trust him and to just ask it. We went back and forth with I don’t know and I am nervous about asking. So Chris started to ask questions like "well what does it involve" and "is it something that already happened or is in the future". Basically trying to get me to give in and tell him. My answers basically gave him the following information: it involved him and I involved something that was a male stress reliever, and than finally something all guys do and feels good. From mostly that he was able to figure out I was talking about jerking off. However, his text was "oh lord I think you are talking about jerking off'. The conversation went on for only a few more minutes before I ended up passing out. But it basically concluded with me telling him that I wanted to jerk off with him/ do it together. He response was no. Now let me fill you in a little about me. I consider myself bi-curious, because I want to experiment with a guy but I still madly enjoy females. I honestly get hard thinking about both guys and girls. I even want to try MMF fucking. Chris is a quiet, well mannered, 21 year old buddy that I am very close to. I have been there for him in time of pain and so on. Our relationship is almost like brothers, we always end up wrestling and that sort of stuff. Luckily for me Chris is such a great friend that he while assuring me 1 he was uncomfortable with the topic 2 didn't want to do it and 3 that he would be there to talk about it if I wanted to. My one problem now is that I still find myself trying to think of ways to convince him to just give me a shot and how pleasurable it would be. I have thought of simple blindfolding him and telling him just sit back and let it happen to getting wasted and trying again. I don't know what I should do. A video that kind of shows what I desire is Sean Cody.com’s Bailey Buddy Fuck

 

[innocentbychoice]

Well if you want it to happen...stop bringing it up. Just don't talk about it, let it happen. How? Be smooth about it, begging leads to nothing.

If you want a formula: the 2 of you alone + alcohol+ porn...But this is probably a bad advice. Some would say that's like taking advantage of him and that you better take care of the friendship instead of doing that.

 

[savboy]

he already knows what you want....the ball is in his court, now. If he wants the same thing, he'll let you know or at least hint around about it. If he never brings it up again, then neither should you.

 

[racer2438]

He told you the answer, and you dont want to listen to it, or it's not going through your head.

If he is afriend as you say then you as disrespecting him by continue to try to push the issue.

You can either listen to what most will say are do what you want and lose a good. It's up to you. But hear this-- >>>

friends come and go throught our lives but the ones that stay are the one's you keep and trust and respect.

you should not ever bring it up and you should at the very least give him a apology and them drop it.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Sadly, no means no.

And you get it that those bait bus/Sean Cody vids are like.. set up, right? the guys know long before hand that they'll be getting blown by guys.. that's a fantasy.

Now go find a guy who's into you and start again.

 

[CGHJ]

Let it go...if he's at all interested, he'll eventually come around and ask YOU. But if he doesn't...you will only fuck up your friendship by pursuing this.

In fact, in my personal experience, it's backing off and giving the guy room that leads to sex more often than trying to convince the guys to do it.

 

[spencer]

you have a better chance with you and a him bringing a girl home.

 

[Storybook_Man]

hey college, Chris sounds like a good guy, and it seems that you two care about eachother. Dont risk breaking the friendship up because you want to have sex/fool with him. If you two are that close though, maybe share your thoughts on being bi curious with him if you think he would be able to take it.

 

[bluedragon4]

Keep pushing him. You can always make new friends. Get on in there!!!

 

[texan_slant]

Let it go unless you don't care about the friendship.

 

[Edward Twinkletoes]

He's straight. If you push it, you'd better be prepared to lose what sounds like a good friendship. It sounds like to me he didn't have a clue you were interested in him in that way.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Let it go...if he's at all interested, he'll eventually come around and ask YOU. But if he doesn't...you will only fuck up your friendship by pursuing this.

In fact, in my personal experience, it's backing off and giving the guy room that leads to sex more often than trying to convince the guys to do it.

Yep, that's what I said. There's a saying in spanish: "El que muestra el hambre no come", which literally means, the one who shows they're is hungry doesn't get to eat. If you keep pushing it, there's an even higher chance you'll get nothing at all.

 

[mykalsea]

SEX CHANGES THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP FOREVER, IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU GUYS WILL NEVER SEE EACH OTHER THE SAME.....
I have a gay friend who I never ever had sex with and he is my best friend LOL

 

[collegefratboy86]

First let me say thank you to everyone for the feedback. While I don't think I said this before but this incident is the first time that I ever said anything to anyone about these desires/curiosity. While I can't really say for sure when I first noticed or accepted this curiosity. I think things between myself and Chris are unique, particularly because we have such a close bond and some what because our shared passion for serving the community. I know I did say that I am still I would still like to try something with him I would never cross that line to disrespect his decision in saying no. I did apologize to him a few days after it all happened also. However for me I am very scared by the fact I am so wanting to do this and what it means in terms of my sexuality. I kind of tell myself that it is just a natural experimental phase that I was never able to experience. I am cursed by an overwelming curiosity about sharing this pleasure with a close friend. I think I should explain all of this to Chris but I am scared to admit it I think.

 

[bluedragon4]

First let me say thank you to everyone for the feedback. While I don't think I said this before but this incident is the first time that I ever said anything to anyone about these desires/curiosity. While I can't really say for sure when I first noticed or accepted this curiosity. I think things between myself and Chris are unique, particularly because we have such a close bond and some what because our shared passion for serving the community. I know I did say that I am still I would still like to try something with him I would never cross that line to disrespect his decision in saying no. I did apologize to him a few days after it all happened also. However for me I am very scared by the fact I am so wanting to do this and what it means in terms of my sexuality. I kind of tell myself that it is just a natural experimental phase that I was never able to experience. I am cursed by an overwelming curiosity about sharing this pleasure with a close friend. I think I should explain all of this to Chris but I am scared to admit it I think.

He doesn't want to hear it. It could just freak him out.

 

[CGHJ]

First let me say thank you to everyone for the feedback. While I don't think I said this before but this incident is the first time that I ever said anything to anyone about these desires/curiosity. While I can't really say for sure when I first noticed or accepted this curiosity. I think things between myself and Chris are unique, particularly because we have such a close bond and some what because our shared passion for serving the community. I know I did say that I am still I would still like to try something with him I would never cross that line to disrespect his decision in saying no. I did apologize to him a few days after it all happened also. However for me I am very scared by the fact I am so wanting to do this and what it means in terms of my sexuality. I kind of tell myself that it is just a natural experimental phase that I was never able to experience. I am cursed by an overwelming curiosity about sharing this pleasure with a close friend. I think I should explain all of this to Chris but I am scared to admit it I think.

Ah yes, so familiar...the problem is, you're attracted to him because you feel close, and it's that same closeness that makes you feel like he's the one person you can confide in.

There's a ton of us here on this board that have gone through the same thing. And I know we'll all agree that the thing to do is back waaaay off. If he's curious, he will start bringing it up to you at the least because believe me guys are horny and if he's curious and can't imagine who else he'd experiment with either, the fact that he knows you'll do it will prove irresistible to him. If he's not, you will drive him away and end your friendship.

It's a hard fact of life that we can't always be with the person we'd like, even if it seems like it would be perfect. However, if there's on thing I've learned in my 40 years, it's that there's lots of people out there and some of them will play. Don't get fixated on ONE.

I'll give you a for example: I live in a marine town, and I have lots of marine friends. Almost all of them are hot as fuck and most of them are super cool. I am tight like brothers with many of these guys. There's one in particular I've always had like a little crush on, but he's very straight, has plenty of girls to sleep with and never showed any interest. So I've never shown any interest in him, being content to just be tight friends, which is plenty for me.

Last week we got drunk, and we're sitting on the couch and he just ups and says "wanna fool around?" And we did, and it was fun, but when we were done he said it was just an itch he wanted to scratch and he preferred women. Which is fine, we're still tight bros I'm happy that I was able to help him find out more about himself in a safe environment.

What I'm saying is, I never made a single move on him at all...he figured I was open, and that was enough. If your friend knows you're open to it, he won't fail to do something about it if that's what he wants. And if it's not what he wants, no amount of convincing from you will change his mind. In fact, it will have the exact opposite effect.

 

[KnightRider]

Good advice there. I've been there too, in the college/frat days. You may not want to believe it but getting hung up on this one guy is very short-sighted. No one guy is anybody's end-all, especially at your age. You also should work on your self-esteem regarding your sexual interests. Accepting what it is you happen to like and what you want and recognizing that there is nothing wrong with it is going to help you in your future interactions with guys.

 

[slnattak]

Could gay men with the same emotional hang-ups stop trying to play e-therapist with other gay men. It is patronizing and uncalled for, and it shows you're not truly listening. You have the exact same issues he does, you're both gay. Stop telling each other what to do. Improve your *own* self-esteem and stop thinking you're entitled to give advice to other gay men.

I don't think he came here for advice. He came here just to prove my point again and again: GAY MEN DO NOT WANT EACH OTHER!

 

[innocentbychoice]

Could gay men with the same emotional hang-ups stop trying to play e-therapist with other gay men. It is patronizing and uncalled for, and it shows you're not truly listening. You have the exact same issues he does, you're both gay. Stop telling each other what to do. Improve your *own* self-esteem and stop thinking you're entitled to give advice to other gay men.

I don't think he came here for advice. He came here just to prove my point again and again: GAY MEN DO NOT WANT EACH OTHER!

You should really listen to your own advice. You keep making threads about how gay men only want str8 men and you keep popping everywhere saying the same thing just because you're in that situation and you keep playing therapist/psychologist/historian/philosopher to make your story believable. Please stop it, that's uncalled for.