Alpha1851 - Archived Blog Posts

[Alpha1851]

*sigh* I'm 29 years old. 29. That's still a 2.

The 20's last so freaking l o n g! Don't misunderstand, I enjoyed my 20's. I spent my early 20's in undergrad and I traveled. Good times. I learned a lot, most of it had nothing to do w/ school. I spent my mid 20's in law school. That was...well, I've erased those years from my memory. They are best forgotten. I've spent my late 20's as a career gal. I couldn't have chosen a better profession. It's exciting. But, but, why does it take so l o n g to turn 30?

Yep, my 20's have been great. Those are the years for getting your feet wet. I made a lot of mistakes during those years. I'd like to think I've learned from them as well. Made a lot of good decisions, and the good ones outweigh the iffy ones. I've learned a great deal and have challenged my perspectives. Had some fun adventures. Thankfully, I also managed to forge some great friendships. Gotta have friends! Great experience over all.

But now I'm done w/ my 20's. I've milked them for all they're worth. I'm ready to see what my 30's will offer. I'm ready to move on. I'm all set to be 30. Or 31. Or 32. 32! Yes, it has a nice ring to it. Imagine the convo, "How old are you Alpha?" "I'm 32 sir." It sounds better. It represents me more accurately. 32 has a feel of experience, knowledge, and determination.

*sigh* But the 20's, the 20's are hanging on to me. I have several more months to go.

Still, It's nice to think about. I'll get there eventually.

 

[Alpha1851]

For me, one of the not so pleasant aspects to being a gal, are the many lovely social invitations we receive, and the many, expensive gifts we're expected to bring. Engagement parties, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, open house parties, kindergarten graduations, they're all very important you know. Some people send invites even though I don't know them well. Of course, I thought I'd be off the hook at least as far as work went. Since they're all men, I just assumed they couldn't care less about a baby shower and "oh by the way, I'm registered at Saks." But much to my dismay, they had no shame in bringing invitations from their wives! Women, I'd never spoken w/ were all of a sudden requesting my presence at their showers and bachelorette parties.

Well, a year ago, I decided to add up the amount of money I had spent on these friendly activities.

Yeah, my social standing, isn't THAT important. So, I determinedly put my foot down and began saying "no" to the invites, and I went one step further by not sending any gifts. Sure, I always sent a card explaining that I wouldn't be attending and that I wished them luck, but the card was empty. No money. No gift certificate.

Until last Tuesday, I felt rather liberated. That's when I received a note from a mother who was furious that I had RSVPd w/ a "no" to her daughter's baby shower and that I had not purchased a gift for the baby. Apparently, the couple is very young and very broke. The baby wasn't planned. Well, at least that's what the mother stated in the note. After reading the letter, I was furious at this woman and wrote her back which basically stated that although I sympathize w/ their plight, it's not my obligation to pay for their mistakes or their child. Although she's the first person to confront me about my new found attitude, I can't help but wonder if other people feel the same way about my choices. Am I a woman who's no longer willing to sacrifice her time to attend stuffy, boring parties, or am I woman who's to selfish to give her time? Am I woman who's interested in keeping her hard earned money, or am I a woman who's too frugal and greedy to give to others? Am I a woman who sees these invites for what they really are--a request for gifts and money, or am I woman who's unwilling to celebrate another person's life choices?

I'm not sure how my "no thanks" is being perceived. Still, I'm not going to change my mind. I don't have time to attend these constant parties, and I'm not willing to lavish expensive gifts on someone just b/c they feel I should. So, congratulations on buying a new house, but I'm not going to buy a kitchen appliance for you. You made it through Kindergarten? Yeah, you fucking should. And no, I'm not buying you an Ipod b/c you made it. Congrats on your recent engagement, but I'm not going to max out my credit card at Tiffany's for you.

 

[Alpha1851]

Insomnia wouldn't be a big deal, if no one else slept either. That's the real kicker! It sucks when I need to talk to so and so, but I can't call b/c it's 3:00 am and they're asleep. It's especially annoying when I'm working on a case or a legal question w/ someone else, who's no doubt brilliant, but has a different sleeping pattern than I do. As in, they actually go to sleep every night, while unfortunately, I'm still raring to go.

Even worse, is when people notice that I'm not sleeping and they ask about it, b/c you know, it's normal to sleep. Like, "wow Alpha, you were logged in at 2:47 am, how can you do that and still be so cheerful in the mornings?" Or, "you emailed me at 4:17 am, are you always up that early?" Or, "how did you manage to get this done so quickly? You were up again weren't you?"

*sigh *

Yeah, well why do you people sleep so much? Wake up.

 

[Alpha1851]

I've finally returned from D.C., the march took place over the weekend, but I had a meeting in D.C. on Friday and the GSA kiddies were off for fall break and hadn't been to D.C. before, so we made it a four day adventure. And what a fantastic adventure it was!!

The experience was so uplifting and empowering that it's impossible to capture w/ mere words. D.C. was packed w/ like minded people intent on obtaining equal rights for everyone. Of course, there were lots of disagreements as to how we should go about getting those rights, but that was okay b/c discussion often leads to the best plan. The passion was palpable.

To me, the most notable thing about the event were the people who came to the march. Supporters rallied from allover the U.S. and I met plenty of folks from Germany and England too. There were white folks, African Americans, Hispanics, Native Americans (I think ), you name it. Straight people were present, more than I anticipated which was good to see (I see the political future changing for the better). A wide array of ages were represented as well. Numerous workaholics who were carrying their blackberries and laptops around trying to sneak in a bit of work (that would be my kind) and some exuberant teenagers who were talking about their own experiences w/ the GSA in their schools.

From discussions, I know the crowd came from all walks of life. Lawyers, doctors, contractors, investors, retailers, salespersons, artists, teachers, and lifetime students. Partnered, single, divorced. Republican (well, I met three), Democrat, and plenty of Independents. There were several families present too.

It was amazing to look around and see so many different people. Sometimes the fight for equal rights can be disheartening. Especially when you're outnumbered and out financed, it can feel like you're all alone. It almost makes a person lose faith in the justice system, in the nation's leaders, in my own religious brethren, and in humankind as a whole. Seeing all those different people at the march was just what I needed. My group isn't fighting alone. No, we're all in this together, and we aren't going anywhere until we obtain equality. Those nay sayers might as well give up and save their money b/c we will triumph!

The highlight for me, was having two important parts of my life come together--and not kill each other. My church and GSA teamed up and headed to D.C. TOGETHER. I had fussed about how difficult it was to raise money for the GSA kiddies to attend the march, and a priest overheard, contacted the GSA adult president, and made the offer to pay for the majority of the trip. I was surprised by the offer, but was even more surprised that the GSA accepted it. I was on edge before the trip, afraid that a huge argument would break out btwn the two groups. Not about sexuality, but about GOD and religion in general. But praise the LORD, everyone got along great! My personality was the ice breaker. Jake and Father Harris joked about my competitive nature and that sort of made it okay for everyone. I am truly thankful!

I'm definitely back on track w/ the belief that people are inherently good. I saw it firsthand.

 

[Alpha1851]

I am one of two coaches for the debate team at a private high school and we just finished a mini competition. Over all the team did very well and I'm pleased w/ the results. Unfortunately, there was one hitch to an otherwise perfect three days. One of our most talented students just happens to have one of THOSE mothers.

Truly, this mother is insane! I had to ask her to leave the competition room b/c in the middle of her son's debate (extemporaneous!) she starts mouthing to him to hold his arms still. These antics not only distracted her son, but could've caused the whole team to be disqualified if the judges had caught it.

The next day, the mother actually jerked her 15 yr. old son up and started spanking him in front of his teammates!! I had to remove her again, and have yet another discussion w/ her. The poor boy was mortified!

This mother doesn't believe her son does anything right. He needs to talk louder and more slowly. He needs to watch his hands. He needs to bring up this point, or that point. And just why didn't he think of this reason or that reason. Blah, blah, blah.

Uh, it's extemporaneous debate which is always tricky. I'd like to see her do it perfectly!

I can tell this mother will be an ongoing problem if we don't nip it in the bud. I need to find out just who she is and whether she has any connections. See which strategy will work best, though I sadly suspect that NOTHING will work b/c she's crazy! Hmmm...

The kid is a sophomore, and even though this is his first year on the team, it's clear that he has a lot of raw talent. We could mold him for two more years which is appealing. I like to win whether I'm competing or coaching plus I'm getting pd, so I definitely feel responsible for everything. I don't want the school to think they recruited the wrong coaches. This kid could be a winner, he could give us an edge in future competitions, but his mother is a huge liability.

I don't have a fucking clue as to how to handle this right now. Find out who she is. See if anyone else has dealt w/ her. Yeah, I just never expected this. A stage mother in the high school debate team.

 

[Alpha1851]

In mere days, I'll finally turn 30!

I've got everything planned. The priority is updating my work I.D. and directory picture so my new, better, more mature age will be reflected. Now when a client or colleague asks about my age, I can confidently reply that I'm in my 30's. There'll be no more blurring the age lines for me by mumbling that I passed the bar ages ago, and haven't yet lost a case.


I'm in my 30's! I've waited ages to say that!

Oh wait, a 30 year old would probably select a more mature smiley face...