if i were seriously seeing a guy, i'd never screw on the qt, period.
i don't fuck for favors. i don't ask for anything.
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am i a prostitute?
- Thread starter EphGuy
- Start date
if i were seriously seeing a guy, i'd never screw on the qt, period.
i don't fuck for favors. i don't ask for anything.
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Well ... in that case ... Everyone who is having sex, and let's the other take them out, give them gifts, or do nice things for them, is a prostitute! So ... I guess all of our parents would fit into that category too!
Actually, prostitution is performing sex acts strictly for payment (of some kind). No Pay, No Play! But, I don't think that's whats going on here.
Eph says he's gladly doing this without expectations. And, I'm guessing, he would continue with these guys even if the "goodies" stopped. Yes?
What is going on is Eph making some connections that have proven to be beneficial. And, given these are upwardly mobile professionals, it sounds like some solid Networking. These guys could open some major doors for him in the future. Now, if we subtract the sex, there are millions of young guys hoping, and praying, that they can make these type of acquaintances, too!
Keep smilin'!!
Chaz
Ares
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Sorry, but that made me laugh a little. Yeah, those misguided youths that don't sleep their way to the top.Now, if we subtract the sex, there are millions of young guys hoping, and praying, that they can make these type of acquaintances, too!
Honestly, I wouldn't expect a great business network out of this. I would think it's rare that a businessman would want his playmate (current or former) anywhere near his business or influential contacts, but I suppose it's possible.
Ephguy, if you like the sex, continue. You're making a bigger deal of it than it has to be.
If the gifts make you uncomfortable, don't accept them.
And stay in school.
MindBlast
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And here's the problem.
You feel obligated towards sex, which is not a good attitude. If you don't want to have sex, don't have it.
I have some older friends (I'm 26, they're 42 and 44) that treat me very well when I go to visit them, but I always offer to pay when they let me, and I don't have sex if I don't want to. If you're tired of getting fucked but are still horny, insist that you'd like to try topping some more and that you don't feel like bottoming that day or whatever.
If you're only having sex with them because you think they're hot, fine. But why do you have to feel pressured for sex when what you really have is a 'friends with benefits' relationship with them?
i have offered to pay on many occasions. it's always refused.
i'm sure i could say no. i just haven't yet. even if i'm sorta not in the mood when we start i usually get into it. i really like having sex.
like i said, i'm not a total bottom -- maybe 75% of the time with these guys. i usually top when i mess around with someone my age, prob cuz i don't do it that much. def consider myself verse.
one time at a party i overheard some guy say to one of my friends 'who's the hot twink?' i never really thought of my self as a twink. i didn't hear what my friend replied but later that night the guy was drunk and started hitting on me. he said 'i hear you're an insatiable power-bottom'. i love getting fucked, but i don't think i want to be known as a power-bottom. shit like that weirds me out.
well it sounds pretty hot most of the time. only hope ur home movie doesn't show up on xtube, of if it does isn't too embarrassing
yeah i worry bout that too. it's pretty tame stuff. one was a solo jack-off with a Dildo the other was a one-on-one with this guy we met at a club when we were in ft. lauderdale. i have to admit i got into both of them at the time. sometimes i worry about having them out there.
there have been times when i've been out at a club with them and connect with another guy. most of them have been pretty cool and even asked me if i wanted to mess around with the guy. a couple of times i have. i've never sensed any jealousy.
Lube
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Why? Plenty of very hot power bottoms
palemale
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I am all for consenting adults engaging in whatever sex acts they want (although I'm definitely hardline critical of anyone engaging in unsafe sex). However, you will always be known to this circle of guys you hang with as a "power bottom" and the evening's entertainment. That would be fine if that's what you wanted. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable, however, speaks volumes about the reality of your situation. These guys tell men who are total strangers to you about your sex practices. Perhaps I'm a little old fashioned, but that's immature and not very cool. My suggestion is to find a new group of friends or limit your sexual activities to the few of them who have the decency not to talk about you behind your back or blab about your sex practices. As far as the guy who described you as a power bottom to the drunk, the next time he wants to fuck you tell him to find a new power bottom.
Just_Believe18
of the 99%
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I don't think everyone read your post the entire way through. These replies of encouragement are disturbing. There are a couple of problems here:
1. Yes, you have a good time, yes, the guys are sweet and nice; however, their generosity is obligating you towards sex. The only reason why they like your company is because they always know you will put out. The fact that they brag to their friends that you're their "power bottom" is condescending. Any time where you are having sex just because you "have to" is wrong. It's an abuse of the friendship. I guarantee you the moment you stop putting out, the trips and invitations will cease.
2. Utlimately, you want a relationship with a guy your base. You want to top more. I agree. You need to branch out your friendships more. Go out and get to know another group of gay friends. See what you are missing out on. It won't be 1st class plane tickets to Hawaii, but you'll get to experience what it's like to have normal friendships.
See this as an experience. You take it and move on. Don't hold onto it much longer, because you'll start to see just how mean these guys can be. Watch what happens when you start saying no.
1. Yes, you have a good time, yes, the guys are sweet and nice; however, their generosity is obligating you towards sex. The only reason why they like your company is because they always know you will put out. The fact that they brag to their friends that you're their "power bottom" is condescending. Any time where you are having sex just because you "have to" is wrong. It's an abuse of the friendship. I guarantee you the moment you stop putting out, the trips and invitations will cease.
2. Utlimately, you want a relationship with a guy your base. You want to top more. I agree. You need to branch out your friendships more. Go out and get to know another group of gay friends. See what you are missing out on. It won't be 1st class plane tickets to Hawaii, but you'll get to experience what it's like to have normal friendships.
See this as an experience. You take it and move on. Don't hold onto it much longer, because you'll start to see just how mean these guys can be. Watch what happens when you start saying no.
Kennylingus
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Nope.
When I was homeless I actually was a prostitute for a couple months so I know the difference. You're good.
When I was homeless I actually was a prostitute for a couple months so I know the difference. You're good.
I'll tell you, from my point of view, it would make me very uncomfortable, and I would not be able to stand it. I always have to feel that I'm pulling my weight, paying my way if not my partner's as well. Being bought expensive gifts makes me feel weak and dirty.
You just have to decide whether it makes you uncomfortable or not, if it does, and it sounds like there are some issues, you should change what you're doing.
Besides how much longer are you going to be able to do this. Eventually you'll get too old and they'll want a younger guy, or you'll grow internally and things will go sour. I have an ex who was involved in a situation that started like this, but got slightly more intense, and he didn't get out until the point where he was being controlled in every aspect of his life, and even then he didn't get out until the guy had found a new boy to adopt. Watch out for yourself.
You just have to decide whether it makes you uncomfortable or not, if it does, and it sounds like there are some issues, you should change what you're doing.
Besides how much longer are you going to be able to do this. Eventually you'll get too old and they'll want a younger guy, or you'll grow internally and things will go sour. I have an ex who was involved in a situation that started like this, but got slightly more intense, and he didn't get out until the point where he was being controlled in every aspect of his life, and even then he didn't get out until the guy had found a new boy to adopt. Watch out for yourself.
nautiboyjeff
Slut
Sounds like you have a great group of people who care about you and are very mature and kind.
I hope you don't let some of these responses mess with your head.
If you feel comfortable saying "No" and it seems like that's clearly the situation, then this sounds like a great situation.
Also, remember, a lot of people say things when they have drinks and say things to be funny or get a laugh - take everything in context. It's so easy to get twisted up, but these guys sound like the real deal.
People like this can really help your career in the future. Don't let that be your motivation, but put this on top of all the other perks you have going.
Enjoy - you are a very lucky guy.
NautiJeff
PS - you want to change the power-bottom image, roll one of those boys over and fuck him in front of the group and you may find yourself in a very different position.
I hope you don't let some of these responses mess with your head.
If you feel comfortable saying "No" and it seems like that's clearly the situation, then this sounds like a great situation.
Also, remember, a lot of people say things when they have drinks and say things to be funny or get a laugh - take everything in context. It's so easy to get twisted up, but these guys sound like the real deal.
People like this can really help your career in the future. Don't let that be your motivation, but put this on top of all the other perks you have going.
Enjoy - you are a very lucky guy.
NautiJeff
PS - you want to change the power-bottom image, roll one of those boys over and fuck him in front of the group and you may find yourself in a very different position.
Flexuality
On the Prowl
Wow, you've gotten some really good advice from across the spectrum.
No, you're not a prostitute, from a legal perspective, but I think you know that. And all relationships probably have some balance of sex, love, and benefits. I think what's troubling you is your belief that there is a quid-pro-quo (this for that): you think you won't be invited on trips, etc. if you don't put out. And you're not able to develop your own private relationship in the meantime, because you have to maintain this network.
I suggest you decide if you can live without the trips and gifts and then start testing, in the way that some other posters have suggested. Tell the guys you want to top. Tell them that you'd love to come over to talk, but you don't feel like sex tonight. You'll find out if they like you for something more. They probably do. If they don't, then maybe you shouldn't waste your time, or make it a smaller part of your life that is more within your control.
No, you're not a prostitute, from a legal perspective, but I think you know that. And all relationships probably have some balance of sex, love, and benefits. I think what's troubling you is your belief that there is a quid-pro-quo (this for that): you think you won't be invited on trips, etc. if you don't put out. And you're not able to develop your own private relationship in the meantime, because you have to maintain this network.
I suggest you decide if you can live without the trips and gifts and then start testing, in the way that some other posters have suggested. Tell the guys you want to top. Tell them that you'd love to come over to talk, but you don't feel like sex tonight. You'll find out if they like you for something more. They probably do. If they don't, then maybe you shouldn't waste your time, or make it a smaller part of your life that is more within your control.
theplayerking
On the Prowl
When I lived in Minneapolis I had a friend who was a lesbian about 25 years old than I. She was a very successful surgeon and I was a struggling composer with a crappy temp job. She loved classical and had top-tier subscriptions to all of the musical organizations: the symphony, the chamber orchestra and the opera.
She knew that I was a musician but couldn't afford all those tickets. She had all those tickets and no one to go with so she would invite me. We'd see four or five performances a month together and she's usually buy an expensive dinner (she loved French restaurants) and pick me up (I didn't have a car). I imagine she spent around $2,000 a month on tickets and dinners.
She made more than ten times what I did and to her mind it would be absurd for me to pay for anything. Her house was paid for and she had no children. She had nothing to spend her money on except ever more elaborate vacations alone. She liked going to concerts and was happy to have someone to go with her who actually enjoyed the music and could talk about it with her.
Of course, I was a gay boy and she was a lesbian and there was no possibility of anything sexual happening, but it was still a monetarily inequitable relationship.
Professional gay men and lesbians have an extraordinary amount of disposable income and are often very generous with their friends. As long as you don't feel used or bought, I don't see a problem.
She knew that I was a musician but couldn't afford all those tickets. She had all those tickets and no one to go with so she would invite me. We'd see four or five performances a month together and she's usually buy an expensive dinner (she loved French restaurants) and pick me up (I didn't have a car). I imagine she spent around $2,000 a month on tickets and dinners.
She made more than ten times what I did and to her mind it would be absurd for me to pay for anything. Her house was paid for and she had no children. She had nothing to spend her money on except ever more elaborate vacations alone. She liked going to concerts and was happy to have someone to go with her who actually enjoyed the music and could talk about it with her.
Of course, I was a gay boy and she was a lesbian and there was no possibility of anything sexual happening, but it was still a monetarily inequitable relationship.
Professional gay men and lesbians have an extraordinary amount of disposable income and are often very generous with their friends. As long as you don't feel used or bought, I don't see a problem.
altlover85
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I don't really have too much to add. I think you're a courtesan. I don't think that's the end of the world. As long as you feel comfortable, continue to do this. However, I think you aren't 100 percent okay with this. I would test the waters and not put out and see what happens.
It's been a while since this guy posted. I wonder what happened.
It's been a while since this guy posted. I wonder what happened.
