Am I a slut for living this way?

[Kiannnen]

As much as I wouldn't want to call myself a slut, I guess that's what I am. I can never stop with one guy. I've never had a boyfriend because I guess I like men too much to just stay with one.

I'm really outgoing person and the thing is that when I meet some guy and get to know him, I only like him for a limited amount of time, usually few weeks, a month has been a maximum. After that, if I meet someone who's more attractive, seems better and more interesting to me, I'm not interested in the previous guy anymore. And even if I don't meet anyone new, I'm still not interested in the guy after some time.

And so it happens over and over again. Yes, I've broken a few hearts, although I try to tell the person that I'll probably be around them only for a while, there have been guys who were really serious about relationship with me.

I don't necessarily sleep with all these men but I change them often. For a long time this way of living didn't bother me but lately I've been thinking that I may end up alone. But I cannot imagine myself together with one man only for the rest of my life.

Should I force myself to stay with someone even though I'm not interested in him anyone?

 

[swerve]

Hi Kiannnen and welcome to JUB!!!

Of course you are not a "slut" -- you have a healthy sex drive, and probably are of higher intelligence than most of your peers. That is why you become bored with them over time.

I'm not sure how old you are -- but my guess is that you still have plenty of time to find someone who stimulates you both mentally and physically -- and you will know when you find that person!

And -- absolutely DO NOT stay with someone if/when you lose interest in them. It isn't fair to either of you.

I'm glad you found the website and joined the community. There are a lot of great people here -- and, quite honestly, most of them are probably better at responding to questions in this portion of the forum than I am. I look forward to reading their thoughts on your situation.

 

[aaggii]

Whatever makes you happy if you´re honest with your guys and don´t lead them on. Maybe one day you´ll get over it, maybe not. Who cares? Just be safe.

 

[BiMeGuy]

You should never have to do anything you do not want to do. I am happy in an open Bi-way relationship with a great girlfriend and boyfriend. To the three of use, jealousy is an abomination we do not care for. We trust each other to not catch something and give it to the others. We could not be happier.

 

[eastofeden]

I like the term slut...and I am one at heart though I have been with the same guy for 30 years....had sex with maybe 750-1000 guys before that with no apologies...I did what I wanted to do and had a mostly great time. I like having sex....I like men....I was true to myself....then and now...

So my advice...forget the labels...are you being true to yourself? If so...you are OK.

If you are worried about being a slut...you might not be being totally true to yourself.

 

[Seasoned]

Hi and welcome!

Like most things in life, what you describe is totally normal or highly problematic depending on what it is doing to you. So the question is, how are you and how do you feel about what you describe? Do you have a fear of intimacy? Do you practice serial monogamy and move on when the initial excitement wears off, or do you see more than one guy at a time?

You wrote, so my guess is that you have feelings and doubt. There is such a thing as love addiction and it might be worth googling.

Again, what is normal for one person isn't necessarily for the next. It's all about what's going on internally.

What captured my attention was not your sexual behavior, but, rather, the string of broken hearts you've left behind.

 

[TX-Beau]

What you are describing is dating.

 

[Kiannnen]

Hi and welcome!

Like most things in life, what you describe is totally normal or highly problematic depending on what it is doing to you. So the question is, how are you and how do you feel about what you describe? Do you have a fear of intimacy? Do you practice serial monogamy and move on when the initial excitement wears off, or do you see more than one guy at a time?

You wrote, so my guess is that you have feelings and doubt. There is such a thing as love addiction and it might be worth googling.

Again, what is normal for one person isn't necessarily for the next. It's all about what's going on internally.

What captured my attention was not your sexual behavior, but, rather, the string of broken hearts you've left behind.

I don't see several guys at a time. I like someone and I spend time with him and then he becomes boring to me and I look for the next.

 

[Seasoned]

Anything you choose to do that doesn't hurt you or others is cool. Nothing you wrote describes a slut. If you're questioning your behavior there are issues you could explore.

 

[sixthson]

I'd be interested to know how you are with your regular friends and if they are long time friendships. Your behavior strikes me as someone with either a low attention span or someone who has had mostly internet-type relationships, where people are disposable.

 

[Naughty_Monkey]

it sounds to me like you get a mental buzz from it. Plenty of people are not interested in relationships and seek to have fun with other like-minded people. But it sounds like you (subconsciously) enjoy the cycle of starting to date and then ending it - maybe it is self-esteem boosting to "break hearts". That you call your behaviour "slutty" might be part of why you are looking for a self-esteem boost this way. Just a thought.

 

[sixthson]

This thread had the potential for a mature discussion with people on both sides of the issue, but sadly as often happens here, the OP stops interacting in his own thread.

 

[sosotun9091]

As much as I wouldn't want to call myself a slut, I guess that's what I am. I can never stop with one guy. I've never had a boyfriend because I guess I like men too much to just stay with one.

I'm really outgoing person and the thing is that when I meet some guy and get to know him, I only like him for a limited amount of time, usually few weeks, a month has been a maximum. After that, if I meet someone who's more attractive, seems better and more interesting to me, I'm not interested in the previous guy anymore. And even if I don't meet anyone new, I'm still not interested in the guy after some time.

And so it happens over and over again. Yes, I've broken a few hearts, although I try to tell the person that I'll probably be around them only for a while, there have been guys who were really serious about relationship with me.

I don't necessarily sleep with all these men but I change them often. For a long time this way of living didn't bother me but lately I've been thinking that I may end up alone. But I cannot imagine myself together with one man only for the rest of my life.

Should I force myself to stay with someone even though I'm not interested in him anyone?

Having such a great sex life is amazing dude! You should keep enjoying and just don't bother about having relationships.

 

[Hidden Element]

you shouldnt force a relationship on urself. that wouldnt end very well, and would end up with u and ur guy living in a loveless relationship.

It might just be simple fact that u having met the right guy yet. u want someone who is going to sweep u away and make it so u want to last more than a few weeks with them. this guy will come just give it time. maybe u been looking in the wrong places?

 

[Benvolio]

I suggest that when you start to become involved with a new guy you tell him that you are not ready to settle with one guy so he should not expect a permanent relationship. It is possible that part of your reason for dropping guys is that you start for feel you are getting tied down. So if you are candid as you go along, you will not feel trapped and you will not hurt his feelings by dropping him.

 

[recuerdeme]

You're not a slut... you're a young gay. My quess is you are still in your teens.

 

[karchoon]

Actually all I can say is " proud to be a slut . "

 

[bankside]

I don't see several guys at a time. I like someone and I spend time with him and then he becomes boring to me and I look for the next.

If guys bore you, then that is on you.There aren't that many boring people out there that you should be getting tired of EVERY guy after just a short little while. Next time you start getting bored, shake your head and say "nah, I've probably missed something" and wait around until you notice whatever interesting thing about the guy has been staring you in the face.

If you're not into being alone with only hook-ups and flings, then try to work that in. Talk about it with potentials. Pursue it. Figure out more of what that would look like in your life. Remember that for all the guys who settle down with one guy in a long-term relationship (like me) there are also lots of happy couples who stick by each other but they also still openly enjoy hooking up or three ways and they figure out how to do it so everybody is turned on and happy about it. YOU sound like you might be good in a relationship like that.

If that's not what you want after all, or if you just don't want it yet, then keep doing what you're doing, play safe and all that. And try to stay away from the guys who want relationships. As hot as we are, it would mess us up to go after a relationship only to have you shoot it down because your not interested. Be honest about what you want, and don't fuck up the relationship guys, because you can get what you want from other guys who want the same thing.