Am I bad?

[Jimboy121]

Sit down and talk to him, explain that some times you need some personal time to yourself. Sex is a very active thing and after a hard days work its not always something you want to do. Say to him, I've had a long day at work, I was looking for relif and I didn't have the energy to have sex. Explain to him that you will make it up to him give him a hug. This should hopefull help with the problem.

 

[Jimboy121]

When people are unhappy, they make mountains out of mole hills as my gran would say...

Don't be pissed of, be the bigger man and sit down and talk. Explain to him how you know how he likes wanking, explain to him that so do you and you were just tired.

Get it sorted tonight, don't leave it for another day, just get it out the way and things will be back to normal.

 

[Jimboy121]

Life is full of double standards unfortunally. But at the end of the day, life is too short to worry about things like this (my opion)

 

[bankside]

I have to say my guy and I have different wanking schedules sometimes and we're each welcome to do our own thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if he stops if I happen to walk into the room. Fuck man invite me to join in or go down or something. It's to be enjoyed!

 

[altlover85]

Life is full of double standards unfortunally. But at the end of the day, life is too short to worry about things like this (my opion)

I agree.

I have to say my guy and I have different wanking schedules sometimes and we're each welcome to do our own thing. The only thing that pisses me off is if he stops if I happen to walk into the room. Fuck man invite me to join in or go down or something. It's to be enjoyed!

I have an issue where I would stop if my boyfriend walked into the room. I'm so used to stopping when anyone walks into the room and generally when I'm jerking off it's because my boyfriend isn't up to having sex that day, so I'd feel a little awkward if he saw me because I don't want to make him feel inadequate.

 

[HunterM]

Yes, you're soooo bad...that is good

He'll get over it.

 

[bankside]

I agree.



I have an issue where I would stop if my boyfriend walked into the room. I'm so used to stopping when anyone walks into the room and generally when I'm jerking off it's because my boyfriend isn't up to having sex that day, so I'd feel a little awkward if he saw me because I don't want to make him feel inadequate.

well, i obviously can't tell you how he feels in that situation, but to me if I see my guy with a horny grin on his face and he's inviting me to partake, i don't feel inadequate at all. i just know that my guy is horny and he's asking me to join in.

If he stops, (and he used to do this), that's what is a turn off and made me feel inadequate.

 

[altlover85]

well, i obviously can't tell you how he feels in that situation, but to me if I see my guy with a horny grin on his face and he's inviting me to partake, i don't feel inadequate at all. i just know that my guy is horny and he's asking me to join in.

If he stops, (and he used to do this), that's what is a turn off and made me feel inadequate.

Good point.

 

[Seasoned]

I think it's not a double standard at least not the way you describe it. He asked for sex. You said that you were too tired. Then he saw you jerking it. The fact that he started jerking is not a double standard because he didn't turn you down and he did announce he was horny.

As for his morning ritual, unless you ask for sex and he turns you down, there is no real comparison. The bottom line is that while there is a reasonable expectation of sex when one is in a relationship, sex on demand is not a reasonable expectation. On the other hand you could have told him that although you didn't have the energy to top and pound, he was free to give you a bath. You would have turned him on by adding that once he accepted your offer he would have had to have become your slave until you got off even if that meant watching you jerk off.

Not everyone gets to come home to a horny, willing partner. If you are too tired to physically pound him give him the mindfuck of his life.

 

[redips]

But it was a spontaneous boner I was not horny but all guys will play with their cocks if they alone and hard I was not wanking as such just messing with my cock I was not trying to cum

This is just my opinion, but if I were your boyfriend, I would probably be a little upset as well. I probably wouldn't call you out on it, or make a scene, but I think I would be a little upset...

Sure, maybe you were just playing with yourself, but if I were your boyfriend, I couldn't help feel a little bummed about the fact that you had a boner and started playing with yourself, almost immediately after rejecting his advances for sex.

I totally understand that you were tired, and genuinely not in the mood for sex... which is perfectly fine. But your boyfriend would probably feel a lot better if you try to explain it to him, and show some sign of affection (a hug, a kiss, anything really) after you tell him that...

Of course, a lot of this really depends on how long you've been together (i.e. how well he knows you)...

Just my 2c...

 

[altlover85]

But I prefer us wanking if the other not in the mood when his Not in the mood I wank around him if he wants to join in if not that's fine too plus I love to see him shoot his solo load in the morning

Can you explain this better?

Are you saying that you prefer that one of you jerks off if the other is not in the mood?

Been together 9 yrs and I tried to explain but he wud not listen

It really seems like a small matter to be pissed off over after 9 years, unless it has been an issue repeatedly.

Do you guys have other issues going on that might be making you pissed off?

 

[altlover85]

No this is out of the blue

Is he generally communicative when you guys have conflicts?

 

[altlover85]

Thanks for clarifying. Cheating never entered my mind. The only option I was thinking was helping him get off even if you don't.

Regardless, if he's generally a good communicator, I would let it go. You let him know how you feel. You two didn't see eye to eye. You've been together for 9 years, so really this is pretty small in relation to the entirety of the relationship.

If you continue to have sexual issues, that's one thing, but I'm assuming this is an isolated incident.

 

[altlover85]

Jesus I cud cheat anytime had an offer tonight from a hot young lad who caught me piss in but I said no way I have a bf and he knows I'd never cheat no matter how much the encounter turned me on

Yeah, you could cheat, but you didn't.

 

[altlover85]

But it did turn me on tbh

I think that's somewhat understandable.