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am i bi. coming out please help urgent

  • Thread starter Thread starter cake1234
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cake1234

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Am i bi,
im attracted to really femguys and fem women. femininity en general.
femguys i mean guys can pass as women or cd,femboys,preop/post transgender women, androgynous or just girly gays. feminine guys like me.
in the back of my mind i know im bi but theres always a nagging feeling whether what if im straight, am i wrong. what if i come and im not. sorry i just need to know
please help
masc turn me off even abit, yesterday i meet guy at bar and my heart nearly stopped, i was like a gibbering idiot, he was super fem and cute/adorbale
 
You don't have to be attracted to all men or all women or even most. You don't have to be attracted for the same reasons.

If you are attracted to some of each, then that would be bisexual. If you like them enough to be turned on by them, then maybe spend more time getting to know the femmy guy or the femmy woman of your choice, and see where things go.

Enjoy!
 
One of the reasons people come out has to do with not wanting to have a secret. There may be no reason for you to come out at this time. If you're unsure but feel uncomfortable around that know you best, you could begin by telling those people that you're questioning.
 
Seasoned said:
One of the reasons people come out has to do with not wanting to have a secret. There may be no reason for you to come out at this time. If you're unsure but feel uncomfortable around that know you best, you could begin by telling those people that you're questioning.
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i know im Bi, but there is always a uncertainty at the back of my head, on whether im wrong, like oo what if u your not bi/pan nagging me, what if this is a mistake. yesterday i had so much fun. even could stop oogling a guy. it got to the point im just misserable all the time and stop crying and depressed and not seeing friends or doing anything i love anymore.
 
cake1234 said:
i know im Bi, but there is always a uncertainty at the back of my head, on whether im wrong, like oo what if u your not bi/pan nagging me...
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Ignoring it or denying it won't make it go away.

You're going to have to deal with the issue sooner or later.

cake1234 said:
what if this is a mistake....
Click to expand...
What if? Either way, you're going to learn something about yourself.

cake1234 said:
It got to the point im just misserable all the time and stop crying and depressed and not seeing friends or doing anything i love anymore.
Click to expand...
If it's at this point, then it's time that you considered working with a therapist to work through the issue.
 
KaraBulut said:
Ignoring it or denying it won't make it go away.

You're going to have to deal with the issue sooner or later.


What if? Either way, you're going to learn something about yourself.


If it's at this point, then it's time that you considered working with a therapist to work through the issue.
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i thik the thing left to do is just blurt it out, that im bi. and therapist thing not really my thing.
 
cake1234 said:
... therapist thing not really my thing.
Click to expand...
But being miserable all the time and crying and depressed and not seeing friends or doing anything that you love anymore is your thing?

I'm just sayin'... (*8*)
 
cake1234 said:
Am i bi,
im attracted to really femguys and fem women. femininity en general.
femguys i mean guys can pass as women or cd,femboys,preop/post transgender women, androgynous or just girly gays. feminine guys like me.
in the back of my mind i know im bi but theres always a nagging feeling whether what if im straight, am i wrong. what if i come and im not. sorry i just need to know
please help
masc turn me off even abit, yesterday i meet guy at bar and my heart nearly stopped, i was like a gibbering idiot, he was super fem and cute/adorbale
Click to expand...

Hmm. Well here is the thing, reading through this you've mentioned a couple of times that you know you are bi. Here is the thing, you are the only person that can know that for you. No one else can define who you are, so to ask that isn't really the right question here. I'm not gonna tell you what you are because only you know what you are... and I have never been a fan of someone else telling me what I was. I can say this though, if you know for a fact that you are attracted to both women and men (even if the men you are attracted to are more feminine) then you are already entertaining the possibility of being a bisexual man. I don't think that is really your question though... based in how sure you sound about being bi, I think your real question is whether or not you should come out that way. I can't tell you that you should or shouldn't. I don't know you and I don't know your life to tell you if its a great idea, but since I've just recently come out as bi myself I can say that there are some benefits to being out.

Unlike you, I'm not attracted to feminine men. When I am attracted to femininity it is in a female, and when I am attracted to masculinity it is in a male. The two are very separate for me. This is one of the reasons why I needed to come out for myself. I can't justify checking out and drooling over a masculine man and then switching to a very feminine woman, though I can say a person that has been with both that because my attractions are so different, they make for two completely different kinds of sex. Anyway, not to stray too far off topic, but what I mean is that for me, I had to clearly define those two pieces of my life for myself and for everyone around me so they understand me.

You however, may not need or want that. Being attracted to feminine men is something that I've seen in many straight guys because by nature, they are attracted to femininity. In high school I've known a very masculine jock who was always getting BJs from a very feminine gay guy, and he justified this saying that the guy reminded him of a girl. This jock, however, is now married and has a kid and lives a completely straight life. So I mean, it is really whatever works for you. I hope you figure things out and no matter what happens, don't doubt yourself, because yourself is the only person that A) knows you and B) is not going to lie to you.
 
dontaskme69 said:
Hmm. Well here is the thing, reading through this you've mentioned a couple of times that you know you are bi. Here is the thing, you are the only person that can know that for you. No one else can define who you are, so to ask that isn't really the right question here. I'm not gonna tell you what you are because only you know what you are... and I have never been a fan of someone else telling me what I was. I can say this though, if you know for a fact that you are attracted to both women and men (even if the men you are attracted to are more feminine) then you are already entertaining the possibility of being a bisexual man. I don't think that is really your question though... based in how sure you sound about being bi, I think your real question is whether or not you should come out that way. I can't tell you that you should or shouldn't. I don't know you and I don't know your life to tell you if its a great idea, but since I've just recently come out as bi myself I can say that there are some benefits to being out.

Unlike you, I'm not attracted to feminine men. When I am attracted to femininity it is in a female, and when I am attracted to masculinity it is in a male. The two are very separate for me. This is one of the reasons why I needed to come out for myself. I can't justify checking out and drooling over a masculine man and then switching to a very feminine woman, though I can say a person that has been with both that because my attractions are so different, they make for two completely different kinds of sex. Anyway, not to stray too far off topic, but what I mean is that for me, I had to clearly define those two pieces of my life for myself and for everyone around me so they understand me.

You however, may not need or want that. Being attracted to feminine men is something that I've seen in many straight guys because by nature, they are attracted to femininity. In high school I've known a very masculine jock who was always getting BJs from a very feminine gay guy, and he justified this saying that the guy reminded him of a girl. This jock, however, is now married and has a kid and lives a completely straight life. So I mean, it is really whatever works for you. I hope you figure things out and no matter what happens, don't doubt yourself, because yourself is the only person that A) knows you and B) is not going to lie to you.
Click to expand...

Cheers, ur post actually made the most sense too me, yesterday i came out as bi to sis. when with fem guy i dont see it as being with woman, but just as a fem guy and in my head i can see in later life being with a guy aswell and happy. the fem is just prob i think i contect with people more like me, but masc i have been with but didnt enjoy it as much. i find with fem guy we are so much a like, a more of a contection. i know about striaght gut attraction to fem guys, had some approache me in bars when in drag getting really hostile.
 
dontaskme69 said:
Hmm. Well here is the thing, reading through this you've mentioned a couple of times that you know you are bi. Here is the thing, you are the only person that can know that for you. No one else can define who you are, so to ask that isn't really the right question here. I'm not gonna tell you what you are because only you know what you are... and I have never been a fan of someone else telling me what I was. I can say this though, if you know for a fact that you are attracted to both women and men (even if the men you are attracted to are more feminine) then you are already entertaining the possibility of being a bisexual man. I don't think that is really your question though... based in how sure you sound about being bi, I think your real question is whether or not you should come out that way. I can't tell you that you should or shouldn't. I don't know you and I don't know your life to tell you if its a great idea, but since I've just recently come out as bi myself I can say that there are some benefits to being out.

Unlike you, I'm not attracted to feminine men. When I am attracted to femininity it is in a female, and when I am attracted to masculinity it is in a male. The two are very separate for me. This is one of the reasons why I needed to come out for myself. I can't justify checking out and drooling over a masculine man and then switching to a very feminine woman, though I can say a person that has been with both that because my attractions are so different, they make for two completely different kinds of sex. Anyway, not to stray too far off topic, but what I mean is that for me, I had to clearly define those two pieces of my life for myself and for everyone around me so they understand me.

You however, may not need or want that. Being attracted to feminine men is something that I've seen in many straight guys because by nature, they are attracted to femininity. In high school I've known a very masculine jock who was always getting BJs from a very feminine gay guy, and he justified this saying that the guy reminded him of a girl. This jock, however, is now married and has a kid and lives a completely straight life. So I mean, it is really whatever works for you. I hope you figure things out and no matter what happens, don't doubt yourself, because yourself is the only person that A) knows you and B) is not going to lie to you.
Click to expand...
sorry just had to asked, did u every have a nagging feeling whether what if im straight, am i wrong. what if i come and im not. on what will people would feel.
since telling sis it had amost gone, as tell more it dies and now when i close my eye picture i dont feel any guilt and only happyness
 
Best wishes to you. It seems as though you've found a lot of relief. All the best!
 
You dont need to label yourself. Orientation is like personality, its mixed and different just enjoy
 
I would advise to take it easy on the internet porn. Amazing how easy and fun it is for girls to declare theselves "bi" but guys still have apprehension
 
according to this thread, bi is many things and quite complicated:

bi = attracted to fem girls, attracted to masculine men
bi = attracted to fem girls, attracted to fem men
bi = attracted to (........) girls, attracted to ( ........ ) men
 
Since OP has requested his account be deleted, thread is closed.
 
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