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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Am I crazy or is he cheating

I mentioned it was a gift and a bimmer so anyone who owns a bimmer would drop that. Analytical low rent psychs can snip anyone looking up.
I know if you truly knew me you would realize how hard I work to be kind to others.
besides aren't we all dumb assess when we get jealous.

You've been drinking, so perhaps we should cut you some slack.

Nahhhhhh. I don't think so.

You call him a kid like he's someone you're fucking with disdain. You continue to go on about the damned car. No concern whatsoever for why the "kid" was weeping silently. No, everyone does not act like a dumb ass when jealous. Hell, not everyone gets jealous. And you "work hard to be kind to others?" Gee, I'm sure they are all very happy to know that being kind doesn't come naturally to you, all these people who you're kind to.

This "kid" needs to run as far and as fast from you as possible. Getting to drive around a nice car simply isn't worth what you're doing to him.
 
Are you sure you don't get jealous? with such a bitter post you may just be hoping for a daddy like me baby.
since it stings you, I have 3 cars and two homes and the bimmer is the most inexpensive of them. something I've learned about people who are outright cruel like you is how a few cz can buy them off. everybody gets jealous and most anyone has a price. so stop being a low expectation having fool and be kind.


least I never mentioned I plan to buy my sweets a Scion-
Oh I just did


latr Cookie!
 
Dude, I think any decent guy on JUB is about through with you, for now.

Keep buying 18 year olds, and keep enjoying the fruit of your labors.

You deserve all you are getting, is all I'm saying.....
 
decent guys? Most of these guys are very mean and strike out at people just asking for some input. I don't buy him and I very careful to be sure I don't interfere with his friendships at school and work. one day he will leave me and move on to guys his age and I know he needs that. I just didn't like this guard and even if he rode the bus I would have been concerned.
we talked this out and the guard is trying to get him in the sack and he felt like I was going to dump him so he was crying. I am never going to push him into anything and I will always be his friend no matter what.
People can think whatever but I don't have to buy him a car up keep him nor will he get out of paying the insurance.
truth is that my boyfriend is the real jealous one and constantly asks about my associates.

Well im done here,
latrz
 
Just a reminder to everyone that this thread is in the no-flame zone.
 
I have 3 cars and two homes and the bimmer is the most inexpensive of them. something I've learned about people who are outright cruel like you is how a few cz can buy them off. everybody gets jealous and most anyone has a price. so stop being a low expectation having fool and be kind.

Well, trust me in this. I don't have any reason to be jealous of what you possess. You can own 3 cars and 2 houses, but you can't buy the love of a teenaged boy. And you can't spend yourself happy.

And that must make you feel very frustrated. So take a little time and re-evaluate your priorities in life and you might just find that you are happier and more secure that your young guys are sticking around you for more than the crumbs from your meagre table.
 
Just remember that you came here and asked a question, and we based our responses on what information YOU provided. If you're getting a lot of the same reactions, then you should consider what that means about how YOU presented yourself. We're just reflecting back to you how you have portrayed yourself, and every time you come back cruelly attacking people you just paint a stronger picture of someone who gets what he wants and then makes others pay for it.

Good luck in all your future endeavors.
 
>>>I know if you truly knew me you would realize how hard I work to be kind to others.

I see very little kindness in your posts. I see a guy who appears to offer material compensation in exchange for companionship, and once one of the people involved gets bored with the arrangement, it's terminated in favor of a new one. If that's your MO, that's totally your business. But you should have some sort of system in place to know when it's time to swap out.

Lex
 
You can buy sex but you can't buy love. That's the oldest rule!

What's a 30 year old getting obsessed and depressed over an 18 year old for?
 
My bf of 6 months is 18 and works at the local grocery store as a clerk. I lent him one of my cars because his broke down i then found some guys sun glasses on the passengers side door and when I asked him he told me that he had been giving the 48 year old guard a ride home after work. I didn't push the issue but stopped in an took a look at the guard who is grey haired and out of shape but gay as I am. Then when my boyfriend walked up to me there was an awkward moment and the guard walked up close to us and asked if there was a problem. I don't know but I felt something bad and my bf was instantly red faced and the car is an 08 BMW which was given to me by my grandfather and id hate to think of it used for whatever. I have mentioned that the whole thing made me uncomfortable and my boyfriend asked me if I ever knew what it was like to struggle in life as they have. I knew I was leaving town for a couple days so I avoided an argument but I remarked I would end it if there was anything going on. As we got ready to go out to dinner I noticed my bf kinda silently weeping.
so now im drunk in a casino hotel wondering if the guy I left my car with hasn't called me all night is cheating. Im already pretty much considering ending it with him.
im 32 and non-confrontational

By the sounds of it he's being banged something wicked. :sex:
 
decent guys? Most of these guys are very mean and strike out at people just asking for some input.

very true... most of the guys who decide to give their 2 cents are very mean. theres a huge difference between telling the truth and being mean. that's why doctors have bedside manners, and pills come sugar-coated.

he probably is cheating on you though. just ask him.
 
^ I think that you'll find that those who merit support and sensitivity receive it.

Those who seem oblivious to their own character sometimes just need to have a mirror held up to them. Part of being self-reliant and confident in making decisions and doing good for others as well as oneself is to have self-awareness.

And sometimes that just seems to be lacking in the questions posed for input.
 
most of you wouldn't understand that this is a pretty even relationship which doesn't rely on my money to keep him. I've had deep pockets all my life and never want anything like that.
I don't know what to think about the guard but I have taken dinner to andrews work and he has managed to be chatting with him both times out front. We didn't say anything about it but it was hard to ignore.
So the guard has only licked his ear in the store restroom and wrote him poetry(a month ago)- im a pacifist and I must rely on his conscience.
 
>>>im a pacifist and I must rely on his conscience.

Meaning what? You're not gonna hit him? That's good, I guess. But if you want this resolved, you're gonna have to take some sort of action.

Lex
 
We have to attend a wedding today and then I will get this out in the open. Im not someone to willfully cost a person a job but if there is sexual harassment continuing then it must be addressed. The guard looks like Archie Bunker and claims to have been a private investigator and owns several types of weapons and drinks listerine at work to catch a buzz. What if he decides to become a stalker or worse (ok maybe that's far out but still). this is bothering me so much I think of walking away to restore soul but I just need to know the truth.
Selfish or insecure or whatever but I want his contact with the guard limited if not ended.
 
Here's what I see:
  • Young guy in his first job is relieved to to see a friendly face. Maybe some of his fellow clerks are jerks and make cracks about fags, but for some reason this guard always looks him in the eye and treats him like a human being. Young guy decides this is a good friend to have at work.
  • Young guy things his life is pretty good, even though it is really hard to struggle with money and work is hard, because he has a great boyfriend who is really thoughtful and even lends him a car so he can keep working hard and he finally has a friend at work.
  • Young guy thinks his boyfriend is great and a good example of generosity, and decides that being generous is a sign of good character. Young guy decides to follow his boyfriend's example and "pay it forward." He offers security guard a lift because it was the decent thing to do. Guard says "Oh no, don't go to any trouble." Young guy says "Oh it is no trouble, it is on my way and it will save you an hour getting home. I insist."
  • Young guy and old guy talk about work, which clerk is useless on cash, who works hard in produce, which manager is a jerk. They totally forget to make out because they are too busy being just friends.
  • 32 year old sees sunglasses and mistakes them for half a dozen opened condom wrappers.
  • Shows up at young guy's work, kinda stares at the guard for a bit, and has an awkward exchange with young guy. Guard, being a guard, checks things out to make sure everything is okay, since he is a guard, and that is what guards do.
  • Later that day, young guy weeps quietly because he was hit out of left field by the threat of getting dumped. He never saw it coming because he thought things were going so well.
  • Young guy spends day and night with his mind spinning. Young guy wonders if he was wrong about generosity, because generosity is something you share, within reason. He feels more like he's "under contract" to a guy whose biggest concern seems to be not an affair, but the affair taking place in his expensive car.
  • Young guy is crushed..doesn't know what to do next and keeps his distance because he doesn't even know where to begin, because just a day ago he thought everything was good all around.
  • With any luck, young guy moves on and learns a few things.
  • With any luck, drunk guy gives his head a shake and tries to see things from young guy's point of view before young guy dumps him and goes on to enjoy life.
  • Four years later, guard who has always been a good friend, winds up being best man at young guy's wedding in Vermont. I wonder who the groom will be?
 
we talked about the guard and andrew claims the guy is into stuff like sniffing ass while someone is pissing and wants andrew to poop in front of him and then spank him. He also claims to have mob ties and threatens to out andrew frequently to keep his ear. the guard had a boyfriend until march and they broke up after their wrestling got out of hand. the guard says he knows all about me through his contacts at the state and hates my kind. So I guess andrew believes all this and worries this guy will harm us or whatever.
Assuming andrew is afraid then maybe they have done something but he won't admit it. I also don't think anyone in the store would believe andrew if he said he wasn't gay (as I've been quizd by a curious checker a couple times in the past). I don't see how andrew could possibly believe this guy or even tolerate his advances. I asked him to be straight up and tell the guy he wants him to leave him alone or he will tell management he is harassing him. that made him cry at the thought of being outed or worse so I didn't push anymore.
Now andrew knows if I find out he is messing with this guy I will dump him. maybe im a jerk but I forbid him from talking to the guy for any length of time and begged him to think this out and realize this guy is nothing but an old pig. I gave andrew the chance to take a break from me and decide if he wanted to move on.
So he is here asleep and I am in a gay soap opera. should I approach the guard? (yes he can probably kick my ass) should I let it ride and trust andrew like I want to do? maybe I should tell andrews mother and let her intervene. maybe have my head examined for getting involved with a young guy.
you all can give me the business cause lord knows I got plenty of crap today at my cousins wedding reception.
I thought about paying off this guard to just leave andrew alone but im a bit drunk so.
 
With any luck, young guy moves on and learns a few things.

Oh. he'll definitely be moving on.

Soap opera indeed.
 
andrew is right where he needs to be and he is happy to be here. My problem is how to deal with this guard. I honestly believe andrew would never do anything to hurt me because he truly loves me. I am planning a trip next thursday and I hope andrew can free time to come along.
 
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