Am I gay or just straight and curious?

[Jarren]

When you masturbate, do you think of dick or think of pussy? That's usually a starting indicator. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about labeling yourself so much as you're discovering your own sexuality. Just accept what you like and don't think you should have to go totally one way or the other. Just be comfortable.

 

[lonnie1]

I suspect that as you get older, your gay side will take over. You're still too young to fully commit one way or the other so just do what comes naturally.

 

[PhoenixRandall]

You're gay and trapped in the closet. Not a good place to be! (I open this way intentionally!!)

The other poster is correct though...the labels, all of them, don't help. They're actually very destructive. That's why my opening line seems so rude. Try continue putting that kind of unnecessary judgement on yourself daily - you'll understand the hard way.

Enjoy who , what you are. Enjoy sex...it's not gross, scary, wrong, or something to be ashamed of. Sex with a man or woman...again, who cares? Quit trying to fit into a mold...isn't that part of what EMO is anyway?

 

[Underdog]

Hello all,

I dont really know what I am, so Im coming to you all for help. Pretty much ever since I can remember, I have thought certain guys are cute or hot. When I was 14, I let some kid I went to school with blow me. I was too afraid for some reason to blow him. Ever since I was 15 or 16, the only porn I will look at is gay porn. I dont really know if I am gay or not. I have some friends who are gay, but I won't ever cross that line. I dont really know what it is; fear, shame, or maybe im not gay? I really do like girls. I have had girlfriends, and have been sexually active. Is this being bi-curious, or am I a gay trapped in the closet?

Probably bi. If you are turned on by both. Same situation with me.

BTW I don't believe in "bi-curious." No one says "gay-curious" or "lesbian-curious." I think bi is actually an orientation, within the range of 100 % straight to bi to 100% gay. (eg. Kinsey) . You're either identifying with bi or not.

But I really am not into labels, as sexuality is just that.

 

[fireside]

Hello all,

I dont really know what I am, so Im coming to you all for help. Pretty much ever since I can remember, I have thought certain guys are cute or hot. When I was 14, I let some kid I went to school with blow me. I was too afraid for some reason to blow him. Ever since I was 15 or 16, the only porn I will look at is gay porn. I dont really know if I am gay or not. I have some friends who are gay, but I won't ever cross that line. I dont really know what it is; fear, shame, or maybe im not gay? I really do like girls. I have had girlfriends, and have been sexually active. Is this being bi-curious, or am I a gay trapped in the closet?

I'm gonna tell you a really big secret:

The less you worry about what other people call you, the more time you have to figure it out for yourself.

There may come a time when physicality enters the equation; you may also never venture down this path. What's certain is that it is your path and yours alone. Venting here's a good way to get feedback, in that it puts you in touch with other people who have experienced/are experiencing the same situations. However, in the end it is your sexuality with which you shall decide how to live.

If it helps, think of it as liking a certain food. For years I wouldn't touch sushi because the thought of raw meat didn't sit well with me. I had been curious about it, and had always found its presentations alluring, though would never bring myself to eat it. One day while at work with some friends (this is easily 5 years ago), the topic was raised. After admitting my ignorance about its taste and texture, I agreed to give it a fair shot. Completely sold I was after that first bite (which, for the record, was an eel roll). It's not all I eat primarily, though I do enjoy my experiences with it.

Note that this story, though an interesting analogy to your situation of curiosity, flies past a few details of human sexuality--things born, learned behaviours, et al--but pretty much describes a possible situation.

Hope that helps, even a little bit.

 

[Maccabee]

^^
I tend to only look at guys my age (18-22), and who dress the same style I do (tight clothes, scene/emo, medium lenght hair). I actually look at the videos, and get off to that (usually anal sex). In real life though, I don't really think guys are really a turn on anymore. I dont think I would actually have sex with a guy. Im really confused by it all.

This is something I could have said... Except for the part were you say you never had sex with a guy. I did have sex, and it has not yet been a major turn-on for me. Despite that, I keep getting off at gay porn. I think I am also putting too much pressure on myself, like: Oh, now I am with a boy and now must I like it and get rock hard immediately etc... I do enjoy cuddling and kissing with a boy very much.

On the other hand, I also look at boys you describe and perhaps it's just a form of jealousy (that's one of my personal theories). You look at boys you actually want to be and confuse it with sexuality. But I haven't figured that one out yet.

 

[mj2006a]

Forget about labeling yourself. It will not help at all. You are just working out your sexuality. The reality is totally different from the fantasy. I crossed the line and have had sex with guys. I liked it very much. Yet, I realized I like the emotional connection with women way better. Yet, I like to look at guys naked on the porno sites. Sexually, I just do it with wome though. I believe the degree between gay and hetero depends upon the person. In a scale from 0 to a 100 (100 being totally gay) you will find people in every area of this range. So, just get to know yourself, what you like, enjoy and live life according to your values and beliefs. Do not let us tell you who you are or what you are. We cannot know. We are here to be sounding boards for you but not to tell you who you are and what life is all about.

 

[gracefulbreeze]

From what you wrote I honestly think that at this point in your life you're bisexual like me and you lean more towards women. If you allow yourself to let go and become close to other guys intimately you'll be able to answer this question on your own.

 

[xzakxrawrx]

^^
I tend to only look at guys my age (18-22), and who dress the same style I do (tight clothes, scene/emo, medium lenght hair). I actually look at the videos, and get off to that (usually anal sex). In real life though, I don't really think guys are really a turn on anymore. I dont think I would actually have sex with a guy. Im really confused by it all.

u probably just nervous incase your friends find out, as i'm not completely out as bisexual....
only to trusted friends who won't think im disgusting or shout some homophobic shit at me like people have in the past. :W

however i like guys from 18-30, not just scene, but emo, indie and simular looking guys also, if they are skinny and not too much muscle.
don't care so much how they dress, but thats an added bonus if they dress kool.... XD
what matters to me is their hair(has to be medium or long),looks, personality.

girls turn me on still but not as much as guys.
but have had A LOT of bad experiences with girls, cheaters,back stabbers, liers, grasses, blackmailers,, being used, the list goes on...
so not really interested in dating girls for the moment...
altho it sounds a bit sexist but from experience i trust guys more in a relationship.

then again it depends on the person and mood i'm in, sometimes i prefer girls over guys, sometimes the other way round.

 

[heckacooldude]

i would say you are bi.

 

[filipbong]

Only you can answer your question.
There isn't a textbook defintion/description of gay, bi or straight.
The human sexual psyche is so complex and deep - I don't think it can ever be fully understood and explained.
Kinsey tried...

Do let nature take its course. Don't force yourself to be one way or the other.