Am I in the wrong?

[luminum]

I think you're both in the wrong and both in the right. Because you two are in a relationship, if your flirting bothers him and makes him insecure, then you should take his feelings into consideration and tone it down. Maybe just spend the night flirting with him or dancing with him.

Just as well, you also need to sit him down and make the message clear to him that at the end of the day, he is the man you want. He needs to understand that he's the one you chose and to relax a little. There's no need for him to feel so insecure.

 

[HartfordGuy]

Yeah, sounds like you both need to talk it out.

You need to be respectful of how your flirting hurts his feelings. Likewise, he needs to know you have friends and like to go out to dance. But being a big flirt maybe harmless to you because you are going home with him, but it also sends out the wrong message to yours and his friends. They'll see it as disrespectful too. It can also attract the wrong person too. You don't want to get your BF and some strange guy into a fight because the other guy thought you wanted him.

 

[G-Lexington]

This isn't a case of "right" and "wrong" - they don't even factor in. This is a case of "you do something, and it bothers him".

Take this example. My boyfriend hates it when I "stomp down the hall". I don't consider it "stomping down the hall". I consider it "walking down the hall normally". Who's right? Doesn't matter. We're just looking at the same thing two different ways. I now attempt to be quieter walking down the hall, although if my mind is elsewhere (which is often), I still "stomp". I told him to remind me when that happens, and hopefully, eventually, I'll be gliding down the hall silently.

Back to you.

You're in a relationship with this guy. You don't WANT to hurt him, do you? You don't LIKE making him feel jealous, right? Relationships are a lot about give-and-take, so talk it out with him. See if you can reach a compromise.

"I do love going out to clubs, and honestly, I do love the attention. But I don't want you to think I'm ever going home with anybody but you. YOU are the one I care about. How about when we go out, if I stay off the podiums? And if you ever feel I'm getting too flirty with somebody, just come up and put your hand on top of my head? That'll be my signal that I'm making you feel bad, and I'll pull back some. Now, in exchange, I need to know that you'll let me have fun, too. You won't be running up and slapping my head the second I see somebody else. Deal?"

Lex

 

[timnmostud]

Yeah, I would say you may need to tone it down, some. But, I assume that this was what your personality was when he met you. If your behaviour hasn't changed and this is always how you acted around him, then I think he may need to take that into account. I have known men in similar situations and it has baffled me at times that someone would pick someone that they were attracted to and then have a problem with the behavior that attracted them in the first place. This is one that there may not be a clear, sho's right and who's wrong. It's just somehting you have to work out to where you are both okay with it.

 

[1gayguy]

I think it boils down to a little respect. If you're flirting, dancing on podiums, and generally acting like you're single it show disrespect for this man who you have in your life.
If you need that kind of attention all the time, maybe you're the one who has the security, esteem issues.
Take that energy you use for flirting and turn into your relationship. You may be surprised with the results.

 

[Soilwork]

Meh.

Not really.. I'm a flirt too, but not because I want anything with people other than conversation... the reason I go out is to have fun and meet people.

What you need to do is make sure, when meeting new people, is to include your BF in all those conversations, those chance meetings and the jokes. He doesn't want to feel left out or marginalized or - and this would suck - have people not know that HE's the one who landed the hot fireman.

Make sure to shower him with as much attention and bring him in to the flirting and he'll not feel so angry when you do it.

 

[Danugh]

You are wrong and if i were him i would kick you to the curb.

You disrespect him every chance you get.

You have any idea how much he loves you and this is how you treat him? Like some insignificant thing.

You don't deserve him, you are in a relationship with clubbing and getting attention on a podium.

You are not ready for a committed relationship and he has finally realized this.

Good for him i say because it will be your loss.

 

[G-Lexington]

^ This from the guy who's trying to convert his female friend's boyfriend?

Lex

 

[idunoo]

um you are not wrong, he is not wrong, you are not right and he is not right neither.. lol I just think you should considered your bf's feeling about you flirting because that can drive some guys nuts and he might feel liek he might loose you and well you wouldn't like seeing your bf go flirt with every guys in club and dance with them and w/e you do. Probably not but then again ..yo uare right, i dont know you so good luck man.