Am I paranoid?

[Darkages]

well if he is the more athletic type then maybe he was running or playing a sport when its pretty much impossible to respond to a text or a call while playing football or something like that.... but that is just my .2 cents

 

[rareboy]

Jesus Christ in a cracker.

Please just throw your goddamned text toy away before neurosis just totally comsumes you.

The shattered expectations that these stupid things have produced among the under 25 set is just insidious.

Your texting is intrusive and indicative of an unhealthy neediness.

Just re-read your post. It is a textbook case for a mental health what-not-to-do.

Spend your time developing a relationship and friendship in person. When you leave one another, respect the idea that people need and deserve their own time.

 

[seven2go]

So actual talking is out of the picture.......

Are you planning on taking a pad and pen and writing notes to each over dinner or will you be texting then too?....... .......

 

[TX-Beau]

You sound like an older person...but yea texting is the "new" thing thats what its all about. WHO TALKS ON THE PHONe lAME!!!!

Are you kidding? It's kinda lame to think that you can carry on a relationship through a few lines of pixel in code.

You text, he can't respond right away - you expect a response right away, you text again - he fully intends to get back, but can't, or isn't in the mood to text you 24/7. You start thinking he's avoiding you, you text again, he's getting a little annoyed that you keep bothering him. You stop all contact thinking he doesn't care anymore.

That's the text saga that comes through here all the damn time. Add in the "what does his facebook mean?!?" and the non-communication fuck yourself is complete.

One phone call and you'd know. Texting is just like passing notes in high school. The communicational equivalent of poking someone in the shoulder over and over and over again.

And BTW, maybe when he's not around you he doesn't want to be talking to you, because he needs his space.

 

[TX-Beau]

Are you planning on taking a pad and pen and writing notes to each over dinner or will you be texting then too?....... .......

I soooooooooo have this picture of a café, tables full of 19 year olds, totally silent, but for the manic sound of tapping on a thousand Ipods.

 

[rareboy]

^ With little splints on their thumbs from carpal tunnel syndrome.

And don't laugh. I've seen a table of 19 year children do this.

Full of angst over whether they can command the constant and immediate attention of everyone out there who doesn't have an actual life.

 

[blahblahblah2007]

So after that the texting got a little spotty one day he texts one day he doesn't.

Sounds completely typical and healthy to me. People have to keep living their lives-- he should not be glued to his phone to text you and you shouldn't be obsessing over texting him.

 

[Dastarr]

Are you planning on taking a pad and pen and writing notes to each over dinner or will you be texting then too?....... .......

I actually just had a date like this few weeks ago. I hardly ever text bar one, two messages every now and then if convenient, but by the time we were sitting face to face, He'd sent me back and forth upwards of 10 messages prob, and EVEN WHEN we had actually met, He was texting me under the table to direct the flow of conversation!

Needless to say I ended up not being quite that into him anyway, but guy had a serious addiction to his phone, Sheesh.

Don't worry so much to the OP too, I get like this sometimes. Ive had instances before where guys have up and left me because I seemed a little too keen, so that kinda filters through a lot of my meetings now, If I really like him I'm always afraid im gonna say something stupid and lose him, or its very tempting to message/email a little too much thinking 'Hey someones actually interested in me for once' to find out whats going on and when you can meet again, sometimes they'll think im a needy weirdo and scare them off that way.

I dunno, I'm still learning how to get through that sortof stuff and how much space to give cause everyone is different, but My tip would be to just relax and then bring it up face to face letting him know youre unsure where youre at with this, not in a message.

Good luck!

 

[Seasoned]

Find other activities. He can't be your only hobby. You'll drive him nuts.

 

[seven2go]

He was texting me under the table to direct the flow of conversation!

Needless to say I ended up not being quite that into him anyway, but guy had a serious addiction to his phone, Sheesh.

I had a hired man who was addicted......every time his phone rang it was a like a cattle prod shocking his dick or something......

Justlove856....I DID get that you speak when face to face....... .......but the texting thing just drives me crazy. People are forgetting HOW to speak......we ALL are spending too damn much time with machines instead of humans......

BTW.......I did manage to break my employee from his habit.......I didn't even have to be a dick about it......

 

[rareboy]

We hit it off on our date very much so if you read my op but idk it worries me cause communication is high on my list. And if he can't provide the level that i'm looking for idk if it can work out.

If you're looking for the kind of guy who can validate obsessive neurotics, good luck. If you actually find one, I suspect it will be more a case of co-dependency rather than a healthy relationship.

I'm serious about this.

You need to get a grip on this demanding and controlling behaviour. If you can't do it on your own, you are one more person who needs to seek out some professional psychological counseling to help you break this pattern.

You don't necessarily care about content, only the constant reassurance that they are at your beck and call.

 

[Willie Boy]

So I'm getting to know this guy he's 20 lives with his parents, just moved down here and he's gonna go to school soon. So we text everyday, we went out on a date last weekend, and before i dropped him off i asked him what do you think of me and he said all positive things and that he see's something down the road. So after that the texting got a little spotty one day he texts one day he doesn't.

So one day i didn't hear from him all day then he texted me apologizing saying that he was busy (this was at like 12am) so we got into a convo and he was saying how he really liked me, and is attracted to me, and see's a relationship down the road.

So he's offering to pay for our next date...all good stuff.

But my thing is is how can you be SOOOO busy that you can't text back during the day? Even if i get busy i still text, or if i'm too busy i'll just text them back when i'm done, which is never that long.

I'm the type of guy who knows how men are, they lead you on talk real nice, pump u up with lies and then they leave. So when I don't hear from him for 1-2 and worse case 3 days (which has happened) I start to think that he's just like the rest of the guys...But I don't want to stalk him or seem like i'm pressuring him or invading his life, so i don't say anything about it. But once he starts school and if we are in a relationship how will the communication be then?

We've talked on the phone but texting is much easeir and faster, and I feel its to early to talk everyday on the phone, once we start dating sure but not now...so am I paranoid...or do i have a valid point?

And yet you freak when you don't text every hour with him???? Here's a little news flash for you. Many of us men do not like texting and would rather talk in person or over the phone. What you described is not paranoia, just idiocy. You expect him to enjoy the impersonal electronic typing of gibberish of direct vocal or personal contact? Get yourself a cheap little texting robot and the two of you can live stupidly ever after.

 

[Willie Boy]

If you are in a relationship you should expect to talk every day...minimum of once a day...I'm like this only at the beginning but once the "newness" dies off i'm much calmer but still expect communication once a day. Whats wrong with that?




And just to clue you in...he's a very "tech savvy" person...a "geek"...so he's very much into technology. So he has no problem with this. so talk about what you know k? and i NEVER said every hour...i would like to text him 1-3 times a day...thats nothing.

I am very tech savvy, but still don't care to text. Being into technology does not mean one embraces the idiocy that is its downside.

 

[Willie Boy]

Thats you.

And my point was that just because you like texting (and typing run on sentences, having lost the knowledge of how to properly use punctuation) does not mean he does. Stop focusing so much on the "me me me me" in your potential relationship before you lose your chance, and actually communicate with him. Turn off the cell phone. Pick up your landline phone and TALK to him. A relationship needs more than just garbled bits of words tossed at the other person, it needs interaction.

The fact that you still don't get it leads me to believe that this attempt of yours to have a relationship with him will not work. Sorry to hear that, but you only have yourself to blame.

 

[Willie Boy]

Wow i love you you equate a person who text's to a person who doesn't know how to use correct punctuation. And if he didn't wouldn't he say lets talk on the phone? LMBO or wouldn't he tell me he doesn't like to text? Use your brain.

Anyways we have talked on the phone. But once we have a relationship i will talk to him on the phone more but right now I'm not...big deal.

So you are waiting until you are in a relationship to start communicating.....

And you tell me to use my brain.....

Good luck with that

 

[Willie Boy]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get hooked on phonics because you need to brush up on your comprehension skills..notice i said MORE...indicating that we do talk on the phone currently.

Actually you said "We've talked on the phone, but texting is much easier...."

Just because you talked on the phone once or twice does not mean you can forgo further communication in lieu of tossing text messages at him. Texting is not real communication, and it sounds like he's trying to get you to mature from the little teeny bopper mode you seem to be stuck in and start communicating with him.

But you still don't understand it when it is printed out in black and whit on your screen. What is your reading comprehension level?

I've given you sound advice. Don't start whining that this relationship fell apart because you refuse to use it.

But if you do, lucky him. I will not waste my time on one who refuses to see what is right in front of him.

 

[thiskidd24]

i think youre looking into things too much. it might just be something you have to change in yourself in order to adapt to a healthy relationship rather than look for a guy that will fit your needs of being available all the time. talking to him once a day like you mentioned is reasonable, but you arent, youre expecting him to talk to you throughout the day. if it was really something important or you needed to get a hold of him right them, call him. you can be afraid to call him.

it also seems like you have an emotional disconnect. you said yourself that it is easier and faster to text. im tech savvy but i would prefer to hear a voice on the phone unless it is really brief. it much more personal and it shows me he cares. if he texts all the time, he shows me that im not that important.

 

[rareboy]

Wow i love you you equate a person who text's (sic) to a person who doesn't know how to use correct punctuation.

Sometimes the answers just write themselves.

Actually you said "We've talked on the phone, but texting is much easier...."

Just because you talked on the phone once or twice does not mean you can forgo further communication in lieu of tossing text messages at him. Texting is not real communication, and it sounds like he's trying to get you to mature from the little teeny bopper mode you seem to be stuck in and start communicating with him.

But you still don't understand it when it is printed out in black and whit on your screen. What is your reading comprehension level?

I've given you sound advice. Don't start whining that this relationship fell apart because you refuse to use it.

But if you do, lucky him. I will not waste my time on one who refuses to see what is right in front of him.

Have to say, this says it all.

I don't know what you want from this thread.

Many people have noted that your approach is not healthy. You seem to only want to argue.

You asked if you were paranoid.

Yes you are. Probably clinically. And you exhibit indications of neurosis. This is either behavioural or physiological or a combination of both. It may have been the result of your upbringing and culture or it may be a sign of chemical imbalance.

Please look at your entire life and analyze whether you have the same problems with other relationships. If the answer is yes, you may need help to learn whether this has any physiological basis or is just the result of being a spoiled child. Either way, you should get this type of behaviour under control before it results in chronic unhappiness.

 

[rareboy]

Face it.

He's just not into you.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, that solves that problem.

Lex