Hey fellas. So I'm 52 and have recently started dating a 30 year old guy, my problem is staying hard while topping. I'll be hard as a rock all during foreplay all the way up until its time to fuck then my dick just goes limp. I've been a top most of my life and never had a problem, I'm wondering if it's performance anxiety or something? This guy is totally my type, the kind of guy I usually just fantasize about so this has me stumped. I did end up bottoming for him since I wanted him to leave happy and the whole time I was on the bottom I was hard as hell too. I'm going to go see my Dr. next week for a check up and plan to talk to her about it as well, maybe not in as much detail though. Any thoughts from the masses?
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Am I Really a Bottom
- Thread starter ski_nxs
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You're doing exactly what I would recommend: seeing your doctor for a physical.
The important thing that you said was that this was a change. While it is normal for there to be some performance declines with age, the changes that come with age are generally gradual. Your doctor should review your medications with you. Testing for thyroid and testosterone would also be recommended. Normal testing like an EKG would also be expected.
If there's no physical cause, then you and your doctor should talk about whether you might want to try an ED drug to see if it helps- both physically and mentally.
The important thing that you said was that this was a change. While it is normal for there to be some performance declines with age, the changes that come with age are generally gradual. Your doctor should review your medications with you. Testing for thyroid and testosterone would also be recommended. Normal testing like an EKG would also be expected.
If there's no physical cause, then you and your doctor should talk about whether you might want to try an ED drug to see if it helps- both physically and mentally.
Probably the wrong question. The better question is, "Do the two of you enjoy it when you bottom?". If you do, then get those legs up and enjoy it.ski_nxs said:
Hidden Element
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the fact that you managed to be hard while bottoming yet not hard while topping says that there is nothing phyically wrong with you in a sence of being able to get hard. So the reason you cant get hard is in your head... maybe you are a bottom, maybe theres something else on your mind. The mind is the biggest bonner killer. But if you are a bottom then so be it, nothing wrong with it at all! All tops need to find a bottom any how enjoy
Harke the Boeotarch
Dreams Wash Away
A good cockring or certain pills sold as kamagra or cobra will help. Also keeping away from booze and other drugs.
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If, as I'm sure all here hope, your doc is able to say there's nothing physically wrong then as Hidden Element says 'all tops need a bottom' so go with whatever works for you and your man : )
That said, along with any ED meds you could try EROTICA as opposed to porn. Let me put this out there before people go all "Aarrgh!" on me:- as a general rule men be they straight, gay or bi tend to prefer the immediate hit of pictorial porn but women usually favour written erotica and by suggesting you try reading some (preferably with your man) I am in NO WAY suggesting that either of you is effeminate.
Both erotica and porn appeal to that biggest and most sensitive of erogenous zones - the brain! Get that on board with what you and your man want to do and the world's your lobster. With a little imagination and the right storyline who knows but the pair of you will be bottoming turn and turn about
Go with the flow, if it feels good your granny probably wouldn't approve, our tastes/wants/needs change over time but most of all 'Keep it Safe, Sane and Consensual'
Best thoughts.
That said, along with any ED meds you could try EROTICA as opposed to porn. Let me put this out there before people go all "Aarrgh!" on me:- as a general rule men be they straight, gay or bi tend to prefer the immediate hit of pictorial porn but women usually favour written erotica and by suggesting you try reading some (preferably with your man) I am in NO WAY suggesting that either of you is effeminate.
Both erotica and porn appeal to that biggest and most sensitive of erogenous zones - the brain! Get that on board with what you and your man want to do and the world's your lobster. With a little imagination and the right storyline who knows but the pair of you will be bottoming turn and turn about
Go with the flow, if it feels good your granny probably wouldn't approve, our tastes/wants/needs change over time but most of all 'Keep it Safe, Sane and Consensual'
Best thoughts.
