Am i really just that horrid looking??!

[ravensblackmind]

ok. im 19 years old. and im starting to think that, because iver never had a boyfriend, that theres something seriously wrong with me. i mean, im not a virgin or anything, but i dont understand why im not with anyone.

i know i dont look like a A&F model, but ive seen people, on JUB and on the street who dont fit that sort pf thing.

and its not just that i dont have a boyfriend. its also that i really dont have any gay friends. i grew up with a whole mess of gay kids at my high school, but they were either preachy butch lesbians or really flaming gays. and im not masc. really but people have told me im not that obvious. so i kinda avoided the gay kids at home. and now im going to school in NYC, and i thought after 2 years of being there id make some gay friends. but ive just made more straight friends.

which is nothing to complain about, i still love and care about them. but sometimes i see them with their boyfriends and girlfriends, and i just start thinking whats wrong with me.

so yeah i just wanted to rant a little, and vent my frustrations.

ill link my myspace http://www.myspace.com/ravensblackmind so i can get some feedback. thanks guys.

please try to spare my feelings.

 

[KaraBulut]

Two requirements for a boyfriend:
1. You have to meet gay people
2. The gay people you meet have to know that you're gay too

but they were either preachy butch lesbians or really flaming gays. and im not masc. really but people have told me im not that obvious. so i kinda avoided the gay kids at home.

Food for thought: a lot of potential friends (and all around good people) are preachy butch lesbians or really flaming gays. If you're open to different types of people and take a less judgmental viewpoint, you're more likely to make those gay friends...

 

[ravensblackmind]

my friends do know im gay.

but its not like the kids in my home town are that great of people either. i grew up watching all of them (they went out nd partyed everyweekend and smoked and drank, which i was not into) and just not liking how they were as people, and they fact that they were gay played only a tiny part in me not wanting to know them. plus its been 3 years since i graduated from high school, and all of them have gone to different schools. so theres no way i could talk to them.

i really want to make gay friends from the city. i have like 1 gay friend bck home, and one bi friend, but i really just want to meet more gay people with my interests.

 

[WYSIWYG]

Dude, your in NYC!!! Get out and meet other gay people!!! Also doe your college have a gay organization you could join, etc?

Lots of gay people and places to meet gay people in NYC. if your not meeting any of them in NYC your not trying very hard!

 

[mascbiguy]

^i second that. youre in NYC it's not that hard. youre on myspace, use the browse/search and find gay guys around you send a msg/friend request and go hang out with them.

also you dont find a relationship looking for it. it finds you. maybe youre just not ready for a BF at this point. dont stress it too much, keep living and you will meet some one.

 

[helzeena]

Lol u're faaar from horrid

But you know, alot of the time I think the same as you, but then again I'm compleeeeeetely closeted, so what should I expect! lol.

 

[genthree]

good men are hard to find...........he he, you know the rest of that. The amazing thing about God , is she has made someone for every body, I am living proof, keep an eye out, he will turn up in time !

 

[rareboy]

Dear Lord....

Drag your ass out of the house and get involved in activities where you'll make friends gay and straight.

If you have a good disposition and are generous with praise and affection, you'll meet the kind of friends you're looking for.

Just staying in and complaining that you don't meet anyone isn't going to get you very far.

 

[G-Lexington]

Anyone and everyone can make friends.
Anyone and everyone can get laid.

Yes, hotter guys find it easier.

But even they have to leave the house to go get noticed.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

Yes, hotter guys find it easier.

Hmmm. It seems that everyone stares at the hot guys but it's the friendly, likeable guys that don't go home alone.

But- as you observed- only if the hot guys and the friendly guys put themselves out there.

 

[darren]

You're a good looking guy, but like everyone else has said on this thread, try and meet some people at gay organisations.

If you're not willing to make friends with the 'flaming gays,' what makes you think that the 'flaming gays' want to make friends with you? Be positive with all people you meet, you never know, they could be the one.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You're a decent looking guy. There's men out there for you. Follow the advice above.

 

[ravensblackmind]

thank you to everyone who replied. i was gone from the forums for a few days, and now ive come back, and i do appriciate the feedback but, i feel like im being attacked. i dont think i worded myself properly, which is my own fault, looking back, i see that i should not have judged people.

its not that i dont like preachy butchy lesbians or flaming queens, its just i never associated myself with the people at home like that, just because of how big of a specticle they would make (there was this one time in Junior year where one of the out gay kids threw a tantrum) so i just distanced myself from them AND people like that, which turned out to be their circle of friends (ie. all the preppy, uppity kids who thought they were better than me and my friends, and proceeded to tell us that on a daily basis mind you) so i really just fell into a disconnection with the gay people that i was surrounded with.

But coming into the city everday and traveling all over, ive noticed that i do feel at "home" now in the gay sections of the city. I think i just needed to be surrounded by older people, who knew how to carry themselves as self respecting humans. which is why now, 3 years after i left high school, and traveling, making friends with a few of the gay kids at my college, i see that butchy lesbians are down with fags (not like the ones at high school), and that the flaming gays that i once cringed at have me rooting for them at vogue battles and runway shows.

but all in all, i do really appriciate the comments, some more than others.

thanks again.

 

[Shadowclad86]

I understand his dilemma. I get the itch to meet our gays by going into chat rooms or events and usually when I enter I freak out and run.

I think Raven and I are in a similar boat, we both want to communicate with other gays but are intimidated. How do you get over that intimidation?

 

[willycocks]

It has to be in real life

just be low key and try to look your best and say interesting good things

You dont accomplish jack all on the net

try a walking group as bars can suck

 

[Letterbomb]

Am i really just that horrid looking??!

Nope. But you could work on your self esteem! I even would volunteer to be your BF if I wasn't working on the one I'm currently attempting to build and if I didn't live 200 miles further northeast...

 

[ravensblackmind]

i wantto thank everyone for replying. i really appriciate the feedback, and i am now trying to be more active in the gay community.

im also starting to focus more on my art, so hopefully i will just end up meeting some cool people along the way!


thanks again yall

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

Well at least you ain't twenty something. AND a virgin. That would be terrible.

 

[ravensblackmind]

omg..................that would be horrid!!!

 

[bokan800]

1. You're not horrid looking, it's all in your head. If someone told you you're horrid looking, just flip them off.