Re: am i horrendously ugly?
This.
And this.
I can't say ignoring people's comments about your attractiveness is useful. People can give constructive criticism about attractiveness. It seems very unrealistic that girls are rolling their eyes EVERY time they make eye contact with you. It's realistic to say they're looking away often because too many people are so fucking scared to interact with other people these days. I think you're interpreting the looking away as eye rolls.
Here's my general rule of thumb I've learned over being a complete loner most of my life: You need to make people like you. People aren't going to like you just because of your appearance. There's too many "beautiful" people in entertainment and the standards are way too high, so people aren't going to come to you without you doing anything. Sure, there are cases where people meet up and even get in deep relationships just because of looks, but that's a 1 and a million chance, so for the other 999999 people, you have to make an impression on them. You have to make them want to like you.
If you say you're getting so many people to roll their eyes at you, then maybe you should try this: Next time you pass by someone and make eye contact, you should smile, nod, and say "Hello." If you do these three things when walking by anyone, it is almost impossible to get a negative reaction from any of them. Why is this? When you smile, especially on reaction to someone's presence, you're telling that person that their existence makes you happy, even if it's just for a second. If you were already smiling before walking by them, then they may think something else is making you happy and not their existence. This is why you should also nod. By nodding, you're accepting their presence and they feel there's a stronger likelihood you won't reject them. If you're nodding your head prior to the encounter, they'll either think you're rocking out to a song and you won't pay attention to them, or you're just fucking crazy. That's why it's also essential to say "Hello" to them. Saying “Hello” is the final confirmation for them to really know you’re caring about them. If you react to people this way, it shows them that you’re going out of your way to use your own energy to try and make them happy.
You see, you can’t expect people to care about you, because you can’t expect people to do all this positive shit I explained above. The only reliable person that you can trust on to make a positive impact on others is you. You are in control of making others happy, not the other way around. I can’t stress this enough; if you want people to like you, you have to go out of your way to MAKE them like you.
Here’s another good thing to do that a friend told me about: When talking to someone, always remember their name. If it’s someone new, let them say their name and remember that name. Now, whenever you talk to that person, use their name frequently. Every time you use their name, your relationship with them increases, even if it’s just a tiny bit every time. It’s much better than talking directly at the person but not using their name. Sure, the majority of the time they’ll listen to you because you’re talking to them directly, but it’s overall disrespectful to not use their name when talking to them, especially if they’ve told you their name before.
This is all I’m going to say for now since I’ve got work to do. I only replied to this thread because I was a lot like you when I was younger (and I still am at points unfortunately), so I know how you feel. It’s just that I viewed other people in a negative light, but as soon as I gave people a chance and started viewing them positively, my life turned for the better. You can’t expect people to be nice to you. The best way to get a positive response from someone is to give them a positive response first. Even if they’re a jackass, you should still be nice, because the friendlier you are to them, the less of a jackass they’ll be to you in the future.
If this is how you’ve lived most of your life, viewing others in a negative way, then turning your life around will be really fucking hard, but you HAVE to start at some point if you want to improve yourself. Believe me, I’ve attempted to completely turn my life around in an instant and have failed miserably, but I can assure you that I’m much better off now than I was 5 years ago. It’s a long process. Don’t expect to be a different person overnight. Making your life and other’s a positive one isn’t easy, but it needs to be done if you don’t like the life you have now.
TL;DR: Don’t expect people to like you, but if you like them first, there’s a much better chance they’ll like you back. Also, remember to smile, nod, and say "Hello."
BTW, sorry if this post is scrambled and unorganized. I often have trouble organizing my posts when writing with a lot of detail.
This.
And this.
I can't say ignoring people's comments about your attractiveness is useful. People can give constructive criticism about attractiveness. It seems very unrealistic that girls are rolling their eyes EVERY time they make eye contact with you. It's realistic to say they're looking away often because too many people are so fucking scared to interact with other people these days. I think you're interpreting the looking away as eye rolls.
Here's my general rule of thumb I've learned over being a complete loner most of my life: You need to make people like you. People aren't going to like you just because of your appearance. There's too many "beautiful" people in entertainment and the standards are way too high, so people aren't going to come to you without you doing anything. Sure, there are cases where people meet up and even get in deep relationships just because of looks, but that's a 1 and a million chance, so for the other 999999 people, you have to make an impression on them. You have to make them want to like you.
If you say you're getting so many people to roll their eyes at you, then maybe you should try this: Next time you pass by someone and make eye contact, you should smile, nod, and say "Hello." If you do these three things when walking by anyone, it is almost impossible to get a negative reaction from any of them. Why is this? When you smile, especially on reaction to someone's presence, you're telling that person that their existence makes you happy, even if it's just for a second. If you were already smiling before walking by them, then they may think something else is making you happy and not their existence. This is why you should also nod. By nodding, you're accepting their presence and they feel there's a stronger likelihood you won't reject them. If you're nodding your head prior to the encounter, they'll either think you're rocking out to a song and you won't pay attention to them, or you're just fucking crazy. That's why it's also essential to say "Hello" to them. Saying “Hello” is the final confirmation for them to really know you’re caring about them. If you react to people this way, it shows them that you’re going out of your way to use your own energy to try and make them happy.
You see, you can’t expect people to care about you, because you can’t expect people to do all this positive shit I explained above. The only reliable person that you can trust on to make a positive impact on others is you. You are in control of making others happy, not the other way around. I can’t stress this enough; if you want people to like you, you have to go out of your way to MAKE them like you.
Here’s another good thing to do that a friend told me about: When talking to someone, always remember their name. If it’s someone new, let them say their name and remember that name. Now, whenever you talk to that person, use their name frequently. Every time you use their name, your relationship with them increases, even if it’s just a tiny bit every time. It’s much better than talking directly at the person but not using their name. Sure, the majority of the time they’ll listen to you because you’re talking to them directly, but it’s overall disrespectful to not use their name when talking to them, especially if they’ve told you their name before.
This is all I’m going to say for now since I’ve got work to do. I only replied to this thread because I was a lot like you when I was younger (and I still am at points unfortunately), so I know how you feel. It’s just that I viewed other people in a negative light, but as soon as I gave people a chance and started viewing them positively, my life turned for the better. You can’t expect people to be nice to you. The best way to get a positive response from someone is to give them a positive response first. Even if they’re a jackass, you should still be nice, because the friendlier you are to them, the less of a jackass they’ll be to you in the future.
If this is how you’ve lived most of your life, viewing others in a negative way, then turning your life around will be really fucking hard, but you HAVE to start at some point if you want to improve yourself. Believe me, I’ve attempted to completely turn my life around in an instant and have failed miserably, but I can assure you that I’m much better off now than I was 5 years ago. It’s a long process. Don’t expect to be a different person overnight. Making your life and other’s a positive one isn’t easy, but it needs to be done if you don’t like the life you have now.
TL;DR: Don’t expect people to like you, but if you like them first, there’s a much better chance they’ll like you back. Also, remember to smile, nod, and say "Hello."
BTW, sorry if this post is scrambled and unorganized. I often have trouble organizing my posts when writing with a lot of detail.
