I am 20 years old and I do not want to date lots boys and have lots of sex and "experiment to see what's right for me". I know what's right for me. I want to be committed to one man. The idea of sleeping around with as many men as possible while I'm young is very repulsive to me. I hear stuff on this forum about couples breaking up with someone they love because they never got to be a sleep around when they were younger, I mean really? Why is being a slut a rite of passage?
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Am I weird for thinking this way?
- Thread starter fantod217
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hylas
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do what feels right for you. dont do anything that repulses you. dont let anybody make you feel bad or 'weird' about yourself for going your way.
but that also counts for those who feel differently about monogamy, so you can drop the judgemental 'tude.
but that also counts for those who feel differently about monogamy, so you can drop the judgemental 'tude.
mbamike
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I don't think of it as being a slut. I think of it as looking for the perfect mate. How do I know if I am sexually compatible with someone if I don't have sex with them. Then once I do have sex with them and the sex was boring, then I should move on because sex is supposed to be passionate and exciting.
When a guy is young is the perfect time to explore and to learn what sex is all about. Settling down with the first person, male or female, to come along may bring regret later in life.
When a guy is young is the perfect time to explore and to learn what sex is all about. Settling down with the first person, male or female, to come along may bring regret later in life.
Really? How so? What kind of regret?
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
Young men have been horny little bastards since, well, the dawn of time.
I prefer men with experience. I don't have much patience for anxious virgins with heads full of fairy tales.
But that's me.
I don't know any guys who sleep around "with as many men as possible," I do know a lot who will sleep around with guys they find hot, and frankly, why do you care?
If you don't want to do that - don't, end of problem.
If we're going to insist on gratuitously tossing judgment around, it's just as easy to say that guys who say what you do say it because you can't get laid.
I prefer men with experience. I don't have much patience for anxious virgins with heads full of fairy tales.
But that's me.
I don't know any guys who sleep around "with as many men as possible," I do know a lot who will sleep around with guys they find hot, and frankly, why do you care?
If you don't want to do that - don't, end of problem.
If we're going to insist on gratuitously tossing judgment around, it's just as easy to say that guys who say what you do say it because you can't get laid.
Its not always about being "a slut". Some people need a range of sexual experiences, be that different types of sex or different type of people, etc.
You know what you need at this point in your life, which is great. Everyone should periodically take stock of what they really "need" (as opposed to "would like"), and go find it. It may change over the years, it may not.
I find it really sad when I hear of couples breaking up because the needs of one or both have changed. It happens, and may be inevitable, but often I am left wondering, "why break up instead of letting him/her seek out happiness?"
You know what you need at this point in your life, which is great. Everyone should periodically take stock of what they really "need" (as opposed to "would like"), and go find it. It may change over the years, it may not.
I find it really sad when I hear of couples breaking up because the needs of one or both have changed. It happens, and may be inevitable, but often I am left wondering, "why break up instead of letting him/her seek out happiness?"
Being a slut is not a right of passage, and if you think it is, I'm afraid you're either being naive or don't know many gay men, or both.
If not experiencing sex but with one man whom you love is your style, then go for it. I, and most others, would respect you for that decision. But, recognize that it's a value-judgment you're making--one you have every right to make.
Others, on the other hand, may have sex more casually, or may not feel the need to feel "love" in order to express themselves sexually. That, too, is a value-judgment, and one no less legitimate than yours. And, having that judgment does not necessarily make one a "slut."
If you choose not to sleep around, that's fine, and you are not alone. Each man finds his own way, and some prefer to have experiences; others prefer to be more restrictive except to those they commit to. It's all good as long as you're achieving the balance you're seeking.