anal pains, any advice?

[KaraBulut]

A strap-on can be made of more rigid material. Add the trusting motion and it can be more traumatizing than a conventional dildo or buttplug.

Have you tried using a dildo or buttplug- both on your own or with your partner?

 

[sixthson]

but to satisfy my desire for men we use a strap on, which is great.

I don't have any advice. I just wanted to let you know you gave me a laugh with this statement.

 

[mbamike]

I think the answer is to prepare your ass BEFORE you have anal sex. I bought a medium sized butt plug and wore it a little reach day until I could wear it for a couple of hours without discomfort. This also helped to stretch out my hole a bit too. I also have a couple of dildoes, regular size and monster, to keep my hole loose.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

 

[KaraBulut]

It does sound like a butt plug would be a good start. Even though it isn't shaped like a penis and doesn't give women that power-top feeling, it does do the trick in loosening and preparing for buttsex.

You might try a little quality time with a medium sized buttplug. If your partner enjoys anal play, then she can join you when you graduate to the big boy buttplug. Then she can finish you off with the strap-on after you've relaxed and stretched from the buttplug.

 

[thisisinteresting]

Even without a buttplug my guess is you are going too fast. You can't just shove it in there and start thrusting. Give it time to adjust. I can go into more detail if you don't know what I mean. Only put a bit in at a time, and even when it's in all the way just leave it there without thrusting for a while. Kiss, play with other erogenous zones, etc. It IS a muscle that can be stretched but it should not be done too quickly.

 

[Flexuality]

I have a post on my website about the anatomy of anal sex (I'm a psychiatrist who teaches sexuality). You might find it helpful. For you, lubrication will be especially important, since dildos are relatively rigid compared to penises and do not have a movable sheath of skin like a penis. When a man thrusts into an anus, the shaft can move within the skin, so the friction is less even though the feeling of thrusting is preserved for both partners. A related suggestion is that it might be easier if your girlfriend engages in slower intercourse and doesn't push as deep with each thrust. Very slight movements in and out, combined with the stretching feeling, may be sufficient for you.

 

[EJMichaels]

For more info, Flexuality's Sex 101 series is good, plus there's the sticky thread on anal sex in the health forum here.

 

[Flexuality]

Thanks for the shout-out, EJM.