Anal sex issue

[Aratron]

Hey everyone!

My boyfriend and I are engaged and we’ve been living together for 7 months but there’s one issue with us.

He’s a top and I’ve bottomed before but before him my two experiences with bottoming were horrible, it hurt and I bled so I didn’t want to do anything with it for a long time.

Since we’ve been together we’ve only done it like 5 or 6 times and it wasn’t painful but there was a little discomfort because I’m tight and I have the feeling that I want to pee when he’s inside me lol.

Long story short, he says we don’t do it enough and he thinks I don’t enjoy it and that I’m forcing myself to do it with him and that our relationship/marriage won’t survive with this problem. I tell him that I need some more time and practice.

Any advice you can give?

Thank you

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

0). Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

1). Clean out before sex... it can burn if you haven't.

2). Use plenty of lube.

3). Use poppers, if you can handle them.

 

[KaraBulut]

Hey everyone!

My boyfriend and I are engaged and we’ve been living together for 7 months but there’s one issue with us.

He’s a top and I’ve bottomed before but before him my two experiences with bottoming were horrible, it hurt and I bled so I didn’t want to do anything with it for a long time.

Since we’ve been together we’ve only done it like 5 or 6 times and it wasn’t painful but there was a little discomfort because I’m tight and I have the feeling that I want to pee when he’s inside me lol.

Long story short, he says we don’t do it enough and he thinks I don’t enjoy it and that I’m forcing myself to do it with him and that our relationship/marriage won’t survive with this problem. I tell him that I need some more time and practice.

Any advice you can give?

Thank you

Anal sex shouldn't be painful. It sounds like you weren't properly prepared during foreplay. It also sounds like you might want to do some experimentation with toys on your own time to determine if you can work through the relaxation that is needed in order to enjoy getting fucked.

If this is going to work out, then both of you are going to have to work through the issue and you're both going to have to be committed and patient. In the All About Ass sticky are some suggestions on how to prepare, train yourself to relax and some suggestions on how to get to the point where it's not painful.

If none of these suggestions work and if this continues to be an issue for the two of you, then the two of you will have to make a decision- either you get into counseling and work through this or you break up.

 

[justassboys]

5 or 6 times in 7 months isn't near enough for me. I enjoy bottoming because it is a little uncomfortable, it's hard to explain but the feeling of being opened up and invaded and kinda wishing it was over but it keeps going, really turns me on. also he should be rimming you a lot, like daily, right? If he's that keen to top you.

 

[ShadowCat]

An anal trainer kit small to medium to human size Dildo rectal douche tons of lube (no silicone on silicone toys) maybe a shibari lube launcher to keep you deeply lubed lots of rimming fingering moving on slowly i cant stress go SLOW spend hours relaxing and you'll open up patienc4 is a virtue Rome wasn't built in a day! Happy fucking!

 

[MrAss]

Lots of foreplay and lube. I find it hurts like fuck if he just wants to fuck mebut if he takes his time lots of kissing touching oral both ways and eats me out im begging him to fuck me hard

 

[mcbrion]

Some guys are too rough, too fast. They're not making love to you, they're just having sex with you, and only one of those involves you.

Suggest him just pressing his knob against your opening slowly, back and forth, for about 5-10 minutes and then gently pressing just the tip of the knob of his dick into you and then withdrawing after 10 seconds or so. If you are an affectionate sort, maybe his kissing you while he's doing this will feel loving to you and cause you to relax. He can also be stroking your arms or nuzzling your neck at the same time (all things having to do with sensuality, which - in your case - I'm intuiting you need in order to "open up" to him). Have him do this many times. It will relax you and make it feel like he is making love to YOU, and not just trying to get into you. You may find yourself relaxing and not tensing up so much. The whole insertion thing (where he's fully inside you) could take up to 15 minutes.
If he's unwilling to learn HOW to excite you into wanting him to invade you, then his "love" for you is something you'd better discuss. A lot. As most women would tell you, they like a guy who takes him time getting into them. It's not just size, it's seduction. And a whole lot of guys could take lessons on seducing their partner. I'd guess that fewer than 2 in 10 guys know much about the art of seduction. If he's one of them, I'm sure there are videos. But if he's resistant...well, you've got a problem. His "love" for you doesn't extend all the way to wanting sex to be good for you, too, and if he's that way IN bed, I assure you, it will show up outside of bed within a year's time. Or less.