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And I picky?

M

mrdude

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I've been with 4 guys, and can honestly say I haven't enjoyed it. This is probably a bad trait of mine or could be normal in the gay community. I wasn't attracted to these guys, but were interested in me so I went along with it.
The outcome - I just couldn't get into it at all and as this sounds horrible I didn't want to kiss/blow them. Am I being really picky, judgemental?

I'm definitely gay, no doubt about it, but it seems I attract the wrong men and never had fun with a man I'm attracted to.
 
Wow you have got to treat yourself better than dating guys you're not even attracted to. I came to terms with my sexuality very slowly in the past 4 years or so but I could never date anybody I'm not attracted to. If I can't even stand to look at a guy's face then there's no way I could ever get intimate with them lol. There are enough men around that you can wait on somebody you have a mutual attraction with. Please don't talk to a guy just because they are nice or because they like you. I would turn down a million guys if I wasn't attracted to any of them lol.
 
The thing is, when a guy is interested in me, I go along with it as I find it hard to be honest with them as I'm not interested and then I start to think I'm shallow etc. and each time I've turned down a guy, they get extremely disappointed. Maybe it's alot about being more assertive.




illgetbi said:
What makes you certain of this? Been attracted to men since I was 13.

Lack of attraction to women? No attraction whatsoever.

Attraction to men, but only certain models/actors or a specific type? Always liked older guys.

Attraction to a large variety of men? Not really.

How did you meet these 4 guys? Did you see pictures of them before you met in person? Was it that the pictures were attractive and they turned out not to be, or were you never attracted to them all along? Not my type of men, except for one. Personality wise made me meet them.
Click to expand...
 
So, you're like those guys who drink scotch because they hate the taste of it so much that it keeps them from getting drunk?

The thread title doesn't match the content very much. Basically, you're not being the aggressor and instead, you're having sex with people that you're not interested in and aren't attracted to. That's a great way to get off without having to worry with the emotional entanglements.

mrdude said:
Maybe it's alot about being more assertive.
Click to expand...

It is. And it's also about taking risks- risking rejection from people you pursue and risking all the emotional complications that come from having sex with people you want to have sex with a second time and a third time and a fourth time...
 
I think I know exactly what you are talking about. I think I probably talked to 30-40 guys via smart phone apps and most of them were not my type. Granted I wasn't looking for sex but I never wanted to directly say I wasnt into the person. After I thought about why this is, I came up with that I didn't want to be rejected if I was into someone but they weren't into me. However, honesty is really the only way to go. Never settle for something you don't want, it's not fair to you or the other person.
 
Nothing wrong with being picky. In fact, it's necessary as you have already discovered.
 
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