Another Straight man playing games. Sigh...

[JNewYork]

There's this very cute handyman in my building. Whenever I walk by, he beams. He gives a very flirtatious, very approving smile. He'll initiate small talk and ask how I am, etc.

He also pumps gas at a gas station crosstown. When I went to get gas there, he was smiling broadly and put his hands on the hood of my car and rocked the car in a playful manner.

So this guy is very into me it seems.

Here's what makes me mad. I notice that whenever there is another person present, he acts very distant.

He doesn't want anyone to know that he's friendly with a gay dude I guess.

Next time I see him alone and he acts all warm to me, I'm going to not be available like I was. I'll just be abrupt.

Why should I be used like that? I can't count the number of times this experience has happened in my life. A straight dude plays me and I wind up full of hope. The straight dude makes all the rules while I wait patiently for affection or attention.

No more. Fuck off straight dudes.

 

[DVM26uk]

... or

Could it be that you're looking to much into it. There are people out there who are naturally friendly in nature, of course that doesn't account for the whole difference in personality when others are around.

I've had many similar encounters myself and as frustrating as it is I've have to regularly remind myself that I'm looking to much into these situations and confusing genuine friendship with some kind of sexual attraction.

 

[ISpitAndSwallow]

Maybe he just likes you, so when others are around he won't show his admiration. It's probably easier for him to show how much he likes you when it's just you two, whether you are a guy or girl.

 

[Rex]

... or

Could it be that you're looking to much into it. There are people out there who are naturally friendly in nature, of course that doesn't account for the whole difference in personality when others are around.

I've had many similar encounters myself and as frustrating as it is I've have to regularly remind myself that I'm looking to much into these situations and confusing genuine friendship with some kind of sexual attraction.

I think this person is right. You're probably just looking too much into it.

 

[JNewYork]

No, I'm not.

 

[UnderBiCover]

maybe he's waiting for you to make the next move

maybe he wants to bounce more than your car hood & he's waiting for you to send a signal back to him to proceed

 

[a little edgy]

You know that women treat straight men like that all the time, right? And there are probably straight men who treat women the same way. It COULD be that he doesn't want to be associated with a gay guy, but it could also be that he just likes to play games OR that he is - believe it or not - shy. I have always pretty good at flirting when I'm alone with a guy, but when's there's an audience I'm very uncomfortable and tend to withdraw.

 

[Woofbite]

There's this very cute handyman in my building. Whenever I walk by, he beams. He gives a very flirtatious, very approving smile. He'll initiate small talk and ask how I am, etc.


Grin and suggest you have a piece of equipment in your apartment you'd like him to take a look at at the end of his shift when you can at least offer him a beer.

 

[Little Beaver]

JNEWYORK- We all run into this situation sooner or later. My advice- If you want to stop feeling like a puppet on a string stop feeding in to the flirtations of a straight dude. Remember he is straight. He enjoys the attention you give him but in all likelihood he will not nor can not give you what you want. When you accept this, you may even enjoy these amusing flirtations. Best

 

[JNewYork]

JNEWYORK- We all run into this situation sooner or later. My advice- If you want to stop feeling like a puppet on a string stop feeding in to the flirtations of a straight dude. Remember he is straight. He enjoys the attention you give him but in all likelihood he will not nor can not give you what you want. When you accept this, you may even enjoy these amusing flirtations. Best

Thanks, this is very helpful advice.

 

[JNewYork]

Dude you're reading way too much into it, and want him to be into you..

And you know this, how? I don't agree.

 

[mike_n_herrin]

/\ all he has to go on is what he's read you post. Based on what you said MMAFAN's interpretation is just as valid as anyone else. you're free to take anyone's advice here or ignore it.

 

[Storybook_Man]

There's this very cute handyman in my building. Whenever I walk by, he beams. He gives a very flirtatious, very approving smile. He'll initiate small talk and ask how I am, etc.

He also pumps gas at a gas station crosstown. When I went to get gas there, he was smiling broadly and put his hands on the hood of my car and rocked the car in a playful manner.

So this guy is very into me it seems.

Here's what makes me mad. I notice that whenever there is another person present, he acts very distant.

He doesn't want anyone to know that he's friendly with a gay dude I guess.

Next time I see him alone and he acts all warm to me, I'm going to not be available like I was. I'll just be abrupt.

Why should I be used like that? I can't count the number of times this experience has happened in my life. A straight dude plays me and I wind up full of hope. The straight dude makes all the rules while I wait patiently for affection or attention.

No more. Fuck off straight dudes.

Yeah dont get so worked up over looks and kindness of people. Save that for when something actually happens..

 

[JNewYork]

/ all he has to go on is what he's read you post. Based on what you said MMAFAN's interpretation is just as valid as anyone else. you're free to take anyone's advice here or ignore it.

Yes, I am free to take anybody's advice or ignore it if I want. I'm also free to address it. Which I did.

I simply asked him how he was so certain that I was reading too much into it. How is he certain that I'm wanting it to be?

Happy Holidays!

 

[mj2006a]

There's this very cute handyman in my building.


Why should I be used like that? I can't count the number of times this experience has happened in my life. A straight dude plays me and I wind up full of hope. The straight dude makes all the rules while I wait patiently for affection or attention.

You are not being used. You are allowing yourself being used. Just because the guy is friendly with you does not mean he wants to fuck you. We men think that just because a straight guy smile at us we should bend over. We all fall for this crap but gets to a point we got to respect ourselves. A smile does not mean "bend over and let me fuck your ass".

 

[JNewYork]

It's more than "a smile." He looks intensely and hungrily at me. But when there's a third person there he keeps his head down. When it's just us he's practically raping me with his eyes.

 

[jackry]

I fall for this shit all the time. I know it dumb. Buck up camper.

 

[flixelblix]

Just my two cents here ok, I have been closet bi for a long time. I've known gay guys that have flirted with me and when it was just the two of us, it was fun and had he pushed things, I'da whipped my dick out for him in a heartbeat but around my "straight friends", it is all professional and if the guy made the mistake of letting my straight friends in on the fact that he had an interest in me, I'd probably humiliate the poor slob.

In high school, I had a thing for fat girls. Still do really but in high school, dating a fat girl was just as bad as being gay so I had very discrete relationships with fat girls. If someone saw us together and made comment about "the cow", I'd just walk away fast with her as though I never heard the comment. It is a shitty way to act and one would hope that people are better than that but maturity just doesn't grace us all.

Blow your load all over my face while the wife is at work, come to my house on the weekend when she's there and kiss me. See how fast I kick the crap out of you.

In short, you need to learn to understand people. This guy may have that interest in you but if you can't respect his need for discretion without question, you are asking for a whole world of heartache and confusion.

 

[JNewYork]

Interesting! That makes sense. Thanks.