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Any advice for the brokenhearted?

rareboy

rareboy

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There is a good chance that you still have so much post-event stress, that it has become the core of your everyday life.

Having had your trust in one guy shattered, you're experiencing a disconnect with other guys now. it is like you're always looking over your shoulder or waiting for them to betray you as well. So you likely have put up barriers.

It is all too common, he's the prick, but you're the one who is left most damaged.

If you haven't been able to expunge all of your feelings through writing or talking it through with friends then I'm going to suggest paying a therapist to listen and to help you work through some of these hangover issues.

You need to get some emotional exercise so that when the right guy comes along you'll be open and receptive to another long term relationship.

In the meantime, enjoy the short term relationships that come your way and set out to make good friends with other guys rather than lovers. They may bring more joy and happiness into your life than you'll ever imagine.
 
You might also be comparing every guy you meet to your ex, unconciously. When you are with someone else, you think in your head "this isn't the way he made me feel" thus self sabatoging yourself.

It's hard bump to get over, getting dumped, especially when there wasn't really any closure.

There's no real advice anyone can give because it's different for everyone. But talking about it with someone unbiased, like a therapist, is a good idea. They will be able to listen to you ramble, and help you realise things that you might otherwise not have thought of.
 
I agree with slickery and rareboy that it would be good to visit with a therapist a few times about this. Being dumped the way you were, unfairly and without closure, and being lied to on top of it, did a royal number on your self-esteem. If after three years you haven't been able to reconcile what happened, then it would be good to let an expert guide you through the process of healing. This includes bringing closure to your relationship with him, as well as establishing trust issues with others, and being able to love yourself again.

There's no need for you to suffer any longer about this; I hope that you find a good therapist and talk it out soon.

Best of luck to you, and most of all, I hope you get some relief from this awful situation. (*8*)
 
I woulda be the truth out of him (not literally). It's gotta suck without closure like that.

I think when you meet someone who is unconditionally nice, you will realize just how mean your ex was to you.

If I still couldn't let go and it was becoming dysfunctional (as it is) I would see someone to talk about it and have the person help me figure out why I couldn't move on.
 
we accept the love we think we deserve. you thought you deserved better right?
well.. you still do.
that's the problem with being unhappy... it makes the days longer. and the years seem like minutes.
but this too will pass. love yourself, love like you've never been hurt, and love will find you.
just don't let it get to you, you know? i know it's monumentally easier said than done, but really. keep a smile on your face, you have a reason to. you are one of the very few people who realized the first time it happened to them that it IS better to be alone and true to yourself than to be strung along and still have someone to wake up to in the morning.

you gotta fake it til you make it :). good luck.
 
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See a therpist and think of this
 
I can empathize with you since last year I fell for a guy and thought he had me as well. We seemed to click right away and the world seemed to be singing everyday.

Same thing happened with the eye contact...then less and less and less sex...then he would call me all the time at work and until we both were home. Turns out he was a liar and con man who not only was seeing another guy on the side but also stole my credit cards (all of them and used several) and was nothing of what he said he was. He now has a warrant out for his arrest on a number of offenses....

It took me awhile to move on; I was about to stop dating when I met my current boyfriend who is wonderful in every way. It took me awhile to let the guard down as well...it is hard because you don't want to get hurt again; you don't want to be the fool.

I agree on the counseling if it has been three years. You need to work through and take your life back....right now he's still in control. Good luck!
 
^ By Gawd Jory, you've given the
perfect Hymn to Him ! I've always
ADORED Eliza's response ( Without
You ) to Higgins, and it's fittin' here.
 
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