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Any advice please? Possibly first boyfriend.

N

n3wk1d92

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my friend said she was going to "introduce" me to her bi friend who is a guy when the come down next month. she says he is shy and still in the closet to his family, she also says he is a nice guy and really funny, she sent me a picture of him and he is really cute. I'm also really shy and in the closet to my family. my problem is I'm nervous about meeting him. I mean I want to I just don't know what to say or do when I meet him. Any advice?
 
You'll get better at it with practice. There needs to be interests on both sides and there needs to be a "spark" of some kind. You're both going to need to talk and not expect much the first time you meet especially if the mutual friend sticks around. If your still interested after you meet him, invite him somewhere with her. Good luck. I hope you have fun.
 
Don't even think about the whole "boyfriend" thing yet. Loosen up and treat him like you would a friend. Establish a rapport with him and hopefully you guys will click and start to communicate more and more. If you like him, show him that you're interested and ask him about "himself" because people responds well to attention and interest towards them. :) Have fun
 
hi n3wk1d92,

Good to read that you and this guy have a mutual friend (a girl) who is willing to arrange a meeting between both of you. So you are 19 years old, and I assume you are a student (and he as well)?

I have no idea if you are also on Facebook, but you might think about asking his Facebook ID to your mutual friend and send him a 'friend request', so you will be able to have contact through Facebook (or by other means). Does your mutal friend also gave him a photo of you?

Well, there are loads of topics you can discuss with him, especially when both of your are students. Lots of info you can exchange with each other. Any idea in which 'setting' / 'environment' this meeting will take place? A meeting (or whatever) with the three of you might be good, because she is the connection between both of the guys.

I would not bother too much about your situation at home (in the closet). I mean, why wouldn't you invite a good friend at home who is visiting your mutual friend (especially when your parents know the mutual friend).

Try to find out what kind of things he likes to do, and what kind of shared things (interests, etc.) you deal with him. How long will he stay over there? Where do you intent to meet him?

Don't bother too much that both of you are shy, inexperienced and in the closet (towards the parents). Its good both of you already told to your friends that you also like guys.

Good luck and feel free to react.
 
bokan800 said:
Don't even think about the whole "boyfriend" thing yet. Loosen up and treat him like you would a friend.
Click to expand...

^^This is so true! You should do this..

Meeting a new guy can always be kind of intimidating. But I would advice you to just relax and take it slow. Just try and approach him as a new person to begin with, without the pressure of "date" or potential boyfriend. When you guys meet, you'll find out rather quickly if there is a connection. Just take it easy and talk about whatever you feel about and yeah, ask him questions, show that you're interested in him and who he is.
I don't think however, that befriending him on Facebook is such a good idea. See how the meeting goes first and then you can decide if you'll want to do that.

Good luck to you :-)
 
Wow I don't know why I didn't come here sooner. You all give really awesome advice. We plan on getting together and hanging out at the mall and maybe catch a movie. Its a group of 5 of us. Him, me, our friend, and his two cousins (both are girls) who know. They are driving them to the mall and im meeting them.
 
hmmmmm........

That's 3 chicks too many.

Next time tell your friend not to say anything and just bring the guy along without building up all that expectation, you'll react more normally that way.

But then I really hate blind dates.
 
It wasn't my choice to bring the two cousins, but I do want the friend to be there so I have someone to break the ice between us.
 
hi n3wk1d92,

Thanks for your reply. The plan ("hanging out with each other at the mall and maybe catch a movie") seems realistic and relaxing, given that both you and the guy are shy (and also inexperienced with dating other guys?).

So I think its good to have such a meeting amidst other people, as this is a nice and a relaxed way to 'taste the waters' of each other. So you can see how he is reacting / interacting with you and with the others, and he has the same opportunity towards observing the way how you react to him and towards the others.

And its easy to make a new appoinment with him (either with or without the others) when it turns out that both of you like each other, isn't it? So I don't see any problems to meet him in the proposed way. Just try to be relaxed and see how things are going, and don't expect too much. Some people need time to learn each other, and this might also be the case for you and/or for him.

Good luck, and keep us informed.

Take care.
 
Sorry its been a while but here is an update. I finally got to meet him tonight, we all went to see the new Madea movie (funny movie is all I'm gonna say) afterwards we all went back to his house and I got to chat with him alone and we both want to start dating each other. we agreed to meet up again next weekend.
Im so happy!!! :king: pride:
 
Congratulations! All the best--let us know how things are going! (!)
 
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