Any Cat Lovers Here? Advice Needed.

[Peloso]

Please, no bestiality jokes.

I wasn't going to bring up this topic but rareboy melted my resolve with his comment on Issa's thread.

Fifteen years ago my friend Kirsten called me up and asked if I would adopt one of her cats. Kirsten worked in cat rescue, and had a house filled with 20 fosters. I had just moved to a cheap apartment in Brooklyn with my friend Jen and her two cats. I also had two cats. I told Kirsten there was no way we could handle another cat. There wasn't room, and Jen and I were trying to get back on our feet after we had both had suffered devastating, but unrelated blows. I just couldn't afford it. I didn't even want another cat.

"You can pick any one. Even Bookie or Romeo."

"Kirsten, I can't do it. I just took one from you. Your house is huge. I'm in this tiny two bedroom with four cats already. It's chaos."

A pause. "You can have Rico."

"You'd give up Rico?"

"Yes."

"When can you bring him over?"

This is what a great cat Rico is. He's incredibly intelligent, affectionate, expressive and more. It's literally impossible to convey what an exceptional cat he is. Kirsten drove him over the next day and we've been best friends ever since.

Now he's in the kitchen, probably dying.

It started when I began to see signs of kidney problems. Soon after that, he became lethargic and had trouble walking. A blood test confirmed he was in the early stages of kidney disease, and that his thyroid was out of whack. He was already being treated for arthritis.

So I got him thyroid pills and a new diet. But he continued to deteriorate. I brought him back to the vet early this week, and the doc suggested an ultrasound to check out his stomach, suspecting the problem might be there. I didn't agree. I've had two cats who died from stomach cancer and he had no symptoms; no vomiting, no nausea. But she was the doctor so I agreed to the test, but not right away. The nor'easter was coming and I didn't want him to get stranded at the clinic overnight. This was Wednesday.

He stopped eating that night, so today I started force-feeding him. He's very weak, skinny and is wheezing constantly. It would seem that it is his time.

The problem is, he doesn't fit the profile of a dying cat. He's alert, his body posture is good, and he still bugs me for pets and drinks from the sink. I do not see death in his eyes. Cats are symptom hiders, but by a certain point it becomes clear that they are suffering. I see none of that in Rico. He's had his share of scrapes over the years; a terrible ear infection, eye clawed by a rival, and a couple respiratory infections. I know what he looks like when he's in pain and I do not see that now.

I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing. It's wrong to let an animal suffer, but nothing matches the emotional anguish of euthanizing an animal too quickly and then wondering if you were too rash. I suppose I'm being selfish, as well, but even though he's a mess, he just doesn't seem terminal. I feel it in my heart...until I don't.

So I've been toggling between deciding to put him to sleep and doing everything in my power to help him. He's still got some quality of life...but he's sixteen and a half. He's got kidney disease. WHAT AM I DOING?

What's making all this worse is that I'm all alone in this. I have a couple of friends to talk to for support, but one of them is in bad health and can't make it here and the other lives far away. I have to do all the work myself: back and forth to the vet (on foot), spending as much time with him as I can, and dealing with my other cat, who's being aggressive toward him (I have to keep them separated, which complicates everything), as well as cleaning and feeding and dealing with work.

I'm generally a very strong person. I'm not very emotional. But this is exhausting, both mentally and physically. I know that at a certain point, the floodgates will open and I will fall apart, but I'm trying to keep it together for his sake. I'm dreading the inevitable decision to put him down and the grief which will follow. I don't handle emotions very well and because of the holidays I have a ton of work. I cancelled today and am expected to show up tomorrow but as of now I don't see how I can do that.

Not looking for sympathy. Just advice from anyone who is familiar with cats and has gone through something similar. I'm not sure I'm thinking straight.

 

[Cormac135]

I'd leave the decision up to the vet, can you leave the cat at the vets for a few days to have tests, see if whats wrong can be fixed ?

Sadly i'm hopeless with animals.

 

[Peloso]

Not for a few days. The stress would be very bad for an animal in his shape. An afternoon at best.

Plus if I say "Do some tests" they'll do more than needed and it will cost me a fortune. I'm already planning on using this month's rent to pay for the ultrasound.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

She´ll die and so will you. Our cat died -likely through a traffic accident- when I was away.

 

[Cormac135]

Not for a few days. The stress would be very bad for an animal in his shape. An afternoon at best.

Plus if I say "Do some tests" they'll do more than needed and it will cost me a fortune. I'm already planning on using this month's rent to pay for the ultrasound.

Fair enough, i was gonna jokingly suggest some bricks and a burlap sack but that would be in poor taste, i'd just keep it safe and warm over the next few days, who knows there may be a Christmas miracle.

 

[m1thousand]

Take the cat to the vet.

My cat Lennox, died at 2 p.m, in about 15 seconds, on Chistmas Eve, 2016. The vet was closing in a few hours. (And his body started deteriorating and he began to smell). An autopsy was done and he had a heart attack.

 

[Araucaria]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I lost two pets this year, a bird and a cat. My cat was 15, and I knew she was in declining health. She had thyroid issues, and the vet gave me topical ointment to rub on her ears. Then one day she suddenly started slowing down, and seemed to be losing awareness of her surroundings. What really clued me in was that it was winter, and she laid on the bare floor. Normally she would not do that, because the floor is cold.

In my case she went fast. I was thinking it may be time to take her to the vet to euthanize her, but she got weak quickly, so I figured it was no use. She crawled to a corner under a bed, and laid there. All through the next day she got weaker and less aware. By the third morning, she was slowing, and she laid still. Her color was gone. By 11 AM I checked on her. There was no sign of life, no sign of consciousness or life in her face, her only movements were the occasional reflexive kicking of her legs. By 1 o'clock, she was gone.

All I can tell you, is let Rico tell you when he is ready. If you feel he's not at death's door yet from looking at the signs, I'd say go ahead and wait. If it's obvious he's suffering too badly, it might be time to take him to the vet. Or he may die at home on his own. I'd say don't overly upset yourself worrying about trying to do the right thing. If it's time, your cat will go regardless. You'll feel sad and grieve, and then life will go on.

It's difficult and painful to go through the process of losing a beloved pet. I wish you comfort and sympathy at this time.

 

[unloadonme]

Sadly, your cat is dying. Kidney failure is common in cats. It has something to do with a high-protein diet and the damage caused by large circulating protein molecules.

From what you say, I think you'll know when it's time. When the spark goes, you'll do the right thing.

 

[nycguydowntown]

for dogs it is usually not eating for three days---they are telling you I'm done--this comes at the same time the loss of that spark unloadonme mentioned---at least in my dogs case and the advice I got from a few vets. Although I probably waited too long. IDK if its the same with cats. But sorry you are going thru this it was a really bad/sad experience for me.

 

[Peloso]

Thanks to everyone above.

At this point I'm thinking about putting him to sleep tomorrow, but that could change.

A friend of mine had tonsil cancer and came thisclose to starving to death. He said it wasn't painful at all, he just got incredibly tired.

So I may stop force feeding him and let him die in the comfort of his own home.

But then again that could take days and I'm not going to go to work with him alone here.

So maybe I will bring him in tomorrow.

Or not.

I don't know.

Fuck.

 

[pigface]

Cats with kidney failure vomit a lot, if he is not vomiting his condition is something else.
If his kidneys are weak, a subcutaneous saline infusion can be very, very helpful, and not expensive.

It could be something as unrelated as a hair ball obstruction - deadly if untreated.

 

[Alistair]

The cat will tell you when it's the right time.

 

[LeicsDom]

My criteria with cats is when they reach an age (usually over about 16) and are starting to run up regular vet bills then the time is right to let them go. It is very painful but has to be done
I have a neighbour who put her cat through months of unnecessary pain because she refused to let it go despite everything the vets told her

 

[Peloso]

My criteria with cats is when they reach an age (usually over about 16) and are starting to run up regular vet bills then the time is right to let them go. It is very painful but has to be done
I have a neighbour who put her cat through months of unnecessary pain because she refused to let it go despite everything the vets told her

I've decided against the ultrasound and all tests. The blood panel alone was $300, although I did ask them to look for everything.

 

[NotHardUp1]

I think it is important to know what you can and cannot afford in pet care. Vets will let you spend way more than reasonable for a person of limited means.

That said, I hope your loved one recovers, but it sounds like it is against the odds.

Please remember you have friends here when things do become bleak, especially at the holidays. Everyone needs others, and everyone faces loss.

We're here for you.

 

[ShadowCat]

Oh you got me crying here how about a second vet opinion?? maybe one that specializes in Cats? I wish Rico all the best let him know ShadowCat is pulling for him. Give him pets and a kiss from me please!!

 

[rareboy]

Thanks to everyone above.

At this point I'm thinking about putting him to sleep tomorrow, but that could change.

A friend of mine had tonsil cancer and came thisclose to starving to death. He said it wasn't painful at all, he just got incredibly tired.

So I may stop force feeding him and let him die in the comfort of his own home.

But then again that could take days and I'm not going to go to work with him alone here.

So maybe I will bring him in tomorrow.

Or not.

I don't know.

Fuck.

Don't force feed him. Provide water.

I can't tell you what to do about end of life. Our Emma had several strokes related to renal hypertension and we let her just wind down at home. She finally died while I was holding her laying in bed.

But I can't say that this was the right thing or not. We have had other kitties that have also died at home and several that have needed to be euthanized because they were in distress.

In the end, with renal failure, all the tests in the world are not going to save him. We have been down this road so many times with our older cats....including stressful ultrasounds etc...that we now ask the vet directly if they are doing this for the cat's benefit or for our benefit so that we feel that we have done everything we can.

So I can only advise you to love them as hard as you can. Feed them a kidney friendly diet and watch for signs of pain or distress that might help you determine if their quality of life is making it miserable for them. They will let you know when enough is enough.

 

[nycguydowntown]

if you can get a vet to do a house call --so your buddy can die at home--that is a good option ---not sure with covid if they are doing this.

 

[Peloso]

He's gone. Went peacefully.

 

[Araucaria]

He's gone. Went peacefully.

I'm sorry to hear, knowing how much Rico meant to you. Please accept my sympathy.