Any psychiatrists in the house?

[mauveb]

Im trying to understand why my BF always has to argue every insignificant little thing, and im talking about stuff that doesn't matter to anyone, but he has to be right about it anyways. I often sense that he's a contrarian (sp?), willing to take up any debate weather or not he knows what hes talking about.

and then, he complains we dont get out enough, so i take him to the beach, more than a few times, and every time we go, he either bitches the whole way through about everything, or behaves to rudely passers by without provocation, which embarrasses me. Then he complains i never wanna play the games he likes, so i setup a minetest server and start a world and he signs on for all of five minutes and goes back to reading his japanese cartoons.

Mind you, i wouldn't be talking about this if it wasn't causing serious problems in other departments - when he acts like this, i cant get turned on to him. His constant obstinate and negative attitude keeps me limp and occasionally even gives me a few panic attacks. In between his arguments and his complaints he whips out his dick and expects me to be turned on. He's gotten through life making more enemies than friends, and at times, even I can't wait for him to go to work so i can actually relax.

So whats up with him?

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

they alls sittin exams on how tie shoelaces

as fa BF different wirins
so

ya figa it out

thankyou

 

[pat grimshaw]

Is you're BF an American? Find a BF from another country.

 

[Beachguyj]

So whats up with him?

He's an asshole. Why would you allow a person like that to even be friends with you? He won't change. Look for someone else.

You're an idiot for allowing him to treat you like that.

People will only treat you as bad as you allow them to.

 

[mauveb]

To be honest, we've had what feels like hundreds of conversations on the subject, i point blank ask him "why do you have to argue everything with me?" and ive told him "complaining and arguing over the dumbest shit all the time is killing my libido".

He usually stares at the wall and barely nods. Like none of it is registering.

It gets to the point where im tired of bringing it up, because he knows what im gonna say, but at the same time, he keeps doing it, so i dont want to fuck him.

Basically im starting to think he's dumb. He digs himself into these holes with his personality then dumps his problems on everybody else like its not his fault. I had to dump him twice before to force him to deal with his own problems. I thought he learned to take care of his own shit but now he's acting more childish than ever and i often think about getting out.

 

[refujiunderground]

lol. no disrespect but why you asking anybody else for a different opinion when we're only going to tell you what you already know. you know what to do so what is the point of this thread. are you looking for a confirmation for us to say that you need to dump your boyfriend? we can't do that for you. you can do that yourself.

it's funny seeing how dudes ask questions then answer it within their own threads. i don't get it. not being an asshole or anything. you talk as if he's a laptop with a computer virus.

 

[pat grimshaw]

Me and my Ex went to a relationships counsellor. It was kind of useful.

 

[mauveb]

I know most people will tell me to dump. You know what will complicate things? The minute he realizes id put up with the uncertainty of going back to the city w/o an apt/job just to get a little peace and quiet, he'll wind it down to acceptable levels.

Thats the thing, when i tell him im thinking of leaving/taking a break/vacation whatever, thats when he starts behaving reasonably again. It feels like our "couple's life" is going in circles. I want a man I can buy a house with, and wont waste my time debating the impertinent.

 

[FPNY]

Maybe you like it so you're willing to put up with it.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

I know most people will tell me to dump. You know what will complicate things? The minute he realizes id put up with the uncertainty of going back to the city w/o an apt/job just to get a little peace and quiet, he'll wind it down to acceptable levels.

Thats the thing, when i tell him im thinking of leaving/taking a break/vacation whatever, thats when he starts behaving reasonably again. It feels like our "couple's life" is going in circles. I want a man I can buy a house with, and wont waste my time debating the impertinent.

circles big thang with humans of cultures goins in circles
ya see where goins wit dat?

anyway do ya lurvvvvvvve ya dudeeeee?
go on say ya dooooooooo

 

[Beachguyj]

Basically im starting to think he's dumb. .

Wait, you think he's the dumb one.


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

 

[maxpowr9]

God this sounds like my ex. If you feel like you are becoming more a parent than a lover, you need to get the hell out ASAP!!!! Been there and done that and won't ever do that again!

 

[Beachguyj]

Is this your boyfriend?

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/hot-topics/381913-rather-hard-situation-i-am-need-your.html

 

[refujiunderground]

Beach,
Youve insulted the OP twice now. be nice

what are you talking about? the op is insulting himself by making this thread.

 

[freefall]

Even without ever being in a relationship, I can tell your BF is a bitch and is toying around. You don't need a psychiatrist for that, even Helen Keller's precise reincarnation can smell that from 100 miles.

 

[csb999]

strangely I find myself agreeing with the rarely clear SloppyS . You have made it clear enough how difficult this guy can be but as SS points out , there MUST be reasons you are still there . Is this guy fabulously good-looking or heart-breakingly endearing in some way ? WHY are you still with him ? What is he giving you or doing for you you can't get anywhere else ?

 

[Essex Boy]

You said at the top mauveb that he makes more enemies than friends. So it must be difficult for you to make new mutual friends. The relationship can't go forward, it can only screw itself into the ground. Sloppy was right! Does he have any kind of hold over you, financially for example?
What you've got is sometimes called a 'frenemy' and what he's doing is called dumping your shit on others.

 

[evanrick]

So whats up with him?

i think he didnt get enough attention as a child and may have attention deficits, which is a learned/learning disorder.

it sounds likes hes not capable of appreciating anything because hes been ignored or spoiled as a child and obviously has some kind of maturity deficit.