Anyone else in a relationship with a bisexual?

[bma1983]

Let go of your insecurity and realize that nothing in life is permanent. Buddha tells us that we make ourselves unhappy when we live in the past or in anticipation of the future.

Enjoy your man now. Can he promise you he'll love you forever until the universe blows up - of course not.

So - stop wringing your hands and enjoy him.

Not all bi guys go for a woman in the end - I didn't. I've been with my guy for 17 years now. Yes, I still fuck women too.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but from that last sentence it seems you didn't have to make a choice on whether or not to ditch your guy for a woman. From your own admission you get your guy and other women. I'm curious to know if your guy is allowed to fuck other men. I ask that because I remember reading an experience of a gay guy who was dating a bi guy. The bi guy saw no problem with himself sleeping with women (his reasoning was because he was bi and still wanted women), but didn't want his gay "boyfriend" to sleep with other men. Suffice it to say they didn’t last long.

 

[Telstra]

I don't know what alternate universe you're living in, but I was taught that a relationship should be between 2 people, not 4.

Not to mention that you're tripling your chances at contracting HIV or some other disease.

That is a no no, and you're in no position to say I have no idea what I'm talking about.

lol, where is the law book ?
I mean there are no rules about relationship, if it works it works, that is all.


You are in a relationship with your parents, relatives and friends (non sexual).

 

[versatileplayer]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but from that last sentence it seems you didn't have to make a choice on whether or not to ditch your guy for a woman. From your own admission you get your guy and other women. I'm curious to know if your guy is allowed to fuck other men. I ask that because I remember reading an experience of a gay guy who was dating a bi guy. The bi guy saw no problem with himself sleeping with women (his reasoning was because he was bi and still wanted women), but didn't want his gay "boyfriend" to sleep with other men. Suffice it to say they didn’t last long.

If there is some guy he wants to screw that bad he can have at it. I'd rather he do that than resent me and our relationship for stopping him.

Chains bring no love with them.

It's worked for 17 years.

 

[versatileplayer]

I don't know what alternate universe you're living in, but I was taught that a relationship should be between 2 people, not 4.

Not to mention that you're tripling your chances at contracting HIV or some other disease.

That is a no no, and you're in no position to say I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm sorry, I think you have posted in the wrong thread.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=336730

 

[versatileplayer]

lol, where is the law book ?
I mean there are no rules about relationship, if it works it works, that is all.


You are in a relationship with your parents, relatives and friends (non sexual).

The Church Lady has a jealous streak I guess.

I directed him here:

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=336730

 

[versatileplayer]

Or the poster is paranoid and jealous? Or neither of them really is ready to make an exclusive committment to each other? Or?

Perhaps we should just talk and listen and not make judgments?

Doesn´t sound like a particularly healthy relationship. Could be that he hasn´t fully come to terms with his own sexuality yet.

 

[sweetcar]

Sure, I am. Been in a relationship with him for 20 years! We started out as friends, got to know each other very well before we ever thought of doing anything sexual. He always turned me on BIG time, in fact he's one of the sexiest guys I've ever known. Truth be told, I played around with him by sticking my hands in his underwear when he was 'asleep' a few times. Turned out, he wasn't actually asleep and one day he told me he liked it and wanted to have sex with me. He told me he was probably BI. He had a girlfriend at the time too.

Never expectec that the 'sex thing' would be anymore than us experimenting around a few times. Well, its turned into a long term relationship between us. Now, he's had many girlfriends, before and during our relationship. He has a woman he's been with now for almost 8 years! I was a bit jelous for a while, until I realized the only way I was going to have him was to SHARE him.

It's worked, and I don't mind at all, In fact he's living with me now.

 

[bma1983]

If these relationships make you guys happy, more power to you. I just think it's really sad (and I'll be honest, a little pathetic, no offense) that some of you have to share the one you love with a woman (or even another man) just to maintain a relationship with him.

I know for me, the idea that my guy wants me and only me is a huge turn on.

 

[sweetcar]

It sounds sad, I guess, but really it isn't. We have GREAT sex. He said his girl friend doen't do the stuff I do. She's just straight sex. She doesn't suck dick, rimm his ass, suck his feet, suck his nipples...and he loves that!

Don't ask me why he has a girl friend....to keep up appearances to the outside world?? I don't know, but, it really doesn't matter.

The one thing I DO find out of place and interesting in all this, is:
He's the only person, male or female that I've actually had sex with.

I had some girlfriends, a lot of my dating relationships were non-sexual. I experimented with a couple of girls and didn't really like it.

He's had sexual relationships with MANY girls and quite a few guys!!

He has a LOT more experience than I do.

 

[Telstra]

If these relationships make you guys happy, more power to you. I just think it's really sad (and I'll be honest, a little pathetic, no offense) that some of you have to share the one you love with a woman (or even another man) just to maintain a relationship with him.

I know for me, the idea that my guy wants me and only me is a huge turn on.

what planet do you live in? ( just kidding)

This thread is sadder in post 62
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=336686&page=2

 

[AsianDream]

If these relationships make you guys happy, more power to you. I just think it's really sad (and I'll be honest, a little pathetic, no offense) that some of you have to share the one you love with a woman (or even another man) just to maintain a relationship with him.

I know for me, the idea that my guy wants me and only me is a huge turn on.

In many cases it's not a question of sharing the "One you love" - but a loving relationship involving more than just one person.

Group relationships among bi-sexual people are much more common than most people realize. In fact some Bi people are very "evangelical" about it and maintain that it's the best way for bi-sexual people to enjoy stable long term relationships.

I know from my own experince and talking to others that arguments and conflict are very rare in group relationships and the emotional support for each other is very strong.

I can see that there may be problems for a "monosexual" person in either a same or opposite sex relationship with a bi-sexual.

 

[Ninja108]

I don't do the sharing thing but whatever floats people's boats.
If it works for them, it works for them. It's just something neither of us are comfortable with.

 

[yummylongsword]

But the original question does cross over into the area of pansexuality.

Whilst you take a very “bi-polar” view – that is not how I think reality is.

Also – I’m not going to take umbrage against you – but I do hope you do understand how profoundly insulting your ideas are to people like myself

I don't see why my preference of being in a two-person relationship is insulting to you, if your four-person relationship isn't insulting to me.

Your kind of relationship and a traditional two-person relationship are very different. Trying to convince anyone otherwise is incredibly stupid. People are very complicated, and the more people you involve in a relationship, the more complicated it becomes. It may be very simple for you, but that is because you have all agreed to some sort of set of guidelines which you all (hopefully) follow. These guidelines obviously don't include monogamy, and an informal, non-monogamous relationship has very different expectations than a typical monogamous relationship.

Whatever works for you, works for you. However, people in different situations have different experiences and different preferences. What may be alright in your four-person thing could absolutely destroy a two-person thing. We don't really know, since it's so hard to compare.

 

[versatileplayer]

If these relationships make you guys happy, more power to you. I just think it's really sad (and I'll be honest, a little pathetic, no offense) that some of you have to share the one you love with a woman (or even another man) just to maintain a relationship with him.

I know for me, the idea that my guy wants me and only me is a huge turn on.

Perhaps you're just a little insecure and need that kind of boost to your ego? Perhaps you're emotionally needy due to a lack of self confidence? Please note these are questions and not conclusions.

Perhaps those in relationships with bisexual men are happier than you will ever be? Perhaps not? None of us knows and none of us should judge.

When my guy met me, I told him I was "very single" and didn't want a long term relationship. I was seeing three different women (all of whom were told the same thing) and 4 to 5 different men. I've been with him for 17 years now and we're both very happy.

If your lover wants to be exclusive with you sexually, great - if he doesn't you won't keep him anyway by forbidding him from having sex with other people.

Let's say he abides by you - and does stop himself from enjoying the best sexual years of his life - don't you think he'll resent you and the relationship and leave you anyway?

Many times I think one of the reasons I am in a long term relationship with my guy is that he does allow me the freedom to do as I wish. If he hadn't - I would probably be playing the field. All of the long term relationships I had with women I ended because I didn't like the restrictions, ditto for demanding and needy men - gone.

 

[versatileplayer]

In many cases it's not a question of sharing the "One you love" - but a loving relationship involving more than just one person.

Group relationships among bi-sexual people are much more common than most people realize. In fact some Bi people are very "evangelical" about it and maintain that it's the best way for bi-sexual people to enjoy stable long term relationships.

I know from my own experince and talking to others that arguments and conflict are very rare in group relationships and the emotional support for each other is very strong.

I can see that there may be problems for a "monosexual" person in either a same or opposite sex relationship with a bi-sexual.

My guy has never had sex with a woman, and isn't interested at all. I absolutely love him and would never leave him. I have sex with other people, but I love him. I'm not emotionally attached to anyone else.

I was in a relationship with a guy many years ago - we were the main item - he and I - but we had a relationship with a lesbian/bi couple - two women - whom we would date and have sex with. We had a couple of fourways, and a lot of the time we all had sex in the same room or at about the same time, but as a rule our pairings stayed exactly the same with the two ladies. So each of us effectively had a lover of each gender.

The ladies were mostly emotionally tied to each other, and we were more emotionally tied to each other - male with male and female with female....

 

[versatileplayer]

I don't do the sharing thing but whatever floats people's boats.
If it works for them, it works for them. It's just something neither of us are comfortable with.

Thanks for the great post. If it makes you unhappy - don't do it! Great to see you're not judging other people.

 

[bma1983]

Perhaps you're just a little insecure and need that kind of boost to your ego? Perhaps you're emotionally needy due to a lack of self confidence? Please note these are questions and not conclusions.

Perhaps those in relationships with bisexual men are happier than you will ever be? Perhaps not? None of us knows and none of us should judge.

When my guy met me, I told him I was "very single" and didn't want a long term relationship. I was seeing three different women (all of whom were told the same thing) and 4 to 5 different men. I've been with him for 17 years now and we're both very happy.

If your lover wants to be exclusive with you sexually, great - if he doesn't you won't keep him anyway by forbidding him from having sex with other people.

Let's say he abides by you - and does stop himself from enjoying the best sexual years of his life - don't you think he'll resent you and the relationship and leave you anyway?

Many times I think one of the reasons I am in a long term relationship with my guy is that he does allow me the freedom to do as I wish. If he hadn't - I would probably be playing the field. All of the long term relationships I had with women I ended because I didn't like the restrictions, ditto for demanding and needy men - gone.

I resent your reasoning that once you're in a monogamous relationship you're wasting the best sexual years of your life. I'm sorry, but that's just plain bs. You don't have to have sex with every pretty face you see to be fulfilled, sexually or emotionally.

Now, I'm no arbiter for your relationship with your boyfriend, and I don't want to be. What works for you works for you. Congratulations. But could you say that you love your bf so much that you would be willing to stop sleeping with women if your bf asked you not to. Or would you see that as him stymieing your sex life? Is there a clear limit for your love for him?

Oh, and to answer your question, if my lover doesn't want to be exclusive to me he wouldn't be my lover. Simple as that.

 

[bma1983]

In many cases it's not a question of sharing the "One you love" - but a loving relationship involving more than just one person.

Group relationships among bi-sexual people are much more common than most people realize. In fact some Bi people are very "evangelical" about it and maintain that it's the best way for bi-sexual people to enjoy stable long term relationships.

I know from my own experince and talking to others that arguments and conflict are very rare in group relationships and the emotional support for each other is very strong.

I can see that there may be problems for a "monosexual" person in either a same or opposite sex relationship with a bi-sexual.

Your situation is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a gay guy who feels he has to share his bf with women in order to be with him. Not poly relationships.

 

[GiacomoPisani]

If these relationships make you guys happy, more power to you. I just think it's really sad (and I'll be honest, a little pathetic, no offense) that some of you have to share the one you love with a woman (or even another man) just to maintain a relationship with him.

I know for me, the idea that my guy wants me and only me is a huge turn on.

i totally agree with you,and let me tell you,these relationships do leave emotional scars with time,specially to the gay partner.my partner loves me i know that for sure,but like i said i don't know what happens to me that even if i want to be romantic with him ,something stops me,because of the many times that he has told me that he prefers women,i never tell him or show him how much it hurts me when he tells me that,i just pretend that i don't mind at all,he does know that i used to get angry when i saw him watching heterosexual porn,which by the way,revolts my stomach.for instance he loves eating my ass,i do enjoy it a lot and i love it when he does it to me,don't get me wrong,but something inside of me feels a bit awkward, like i always try to be very clean like taking a bath when i know that we are gonna have sex, i know that he REALLY enjoy smelling my dirty body scents but i still feel awkward.
i'm his cousin's lover.he is gay.and the things we do are fully enjoy by me in a way that i don't have any inhibitions because he has had sex with quite a few women and he bluntly tells me that he doesn't find them sexually appealing at all. To hear that, is like an aphrodisiac that unleashes me,and i go wild.

 

[GiacomoPisani]

It sounds sad, I guess, but really it isn't. We have GREAT sex. He said his girl friend doen't do the stuff I do. She's just straight sex. She doesn't suck dick, rimm his ass, suck his feet, suck his nipples...and he loves that!

Don't ask me why he has a girl friend....to keep up appearances to the outside world?? I don't know, but, it really doesn't matter.

The one thing I DO find out of place and interesting in all this, is:
He's the only person, male or female that I've actually had sex with.

I had some girlfriends, a lot of my dating relationships were non-sexual. I experimented with a couple of girls and didn't really like it.

He's had sexual relationships with MANY girls and quite a few guys!!

He has a LOT more experience than I do.

we are on the same boat,my partner was the very first sexual relation i ever had.i'm almost 29 and my first sexual experience was three years ago.i almost feel very grateful because i think he was the first one who genuinely had a sexual interested on me and he was sort of like a wish come true,so he is kind of special to me and he supports me in everything i do,so sometimes i wish i feel different toward him.